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Al Behrman / AP
An elderly woman who has suffered abuse by a relative watches "I Love Lucy" on a television inside her room at Cedar Village retirement community, in Mason, Ohio. The Shalom Center that is a part of the community helps the woman by offering shelter, along with medical, psychological and legal help, to elderly abuse victims in this northern Cincinnati suburb. The center asked that her identity be protected for this story.
She raises her hands to her snow-white hair in a gesture of frustrated bewilderment, then slowly lowers them to cover eyes filling with tears. The woman, in her 70s, is trying to explain how she wound up in a shelter that could well be where she spends the rest of her life.
While the woman was living with a close family member, officials at the Shalom Center say, her money was being drained away by people overcharging for her grocery shopping, while her body and spirit were sapped by physical neglect and emotional torment. She says she was usually ordered to "go to bed," where she lay in a dark room, upset, unable to sleep.
A family member “just yelled at me all the time. Screamed at me, cussed me out," the woman says. "I don't know what happened. She just got tired of me, I guess."
The Shalom Center offers shelter, along with medical, psychological and legal help, to elderly abuse victims in this northern Cincinnati suburb. It is among a handful in the country that provide sanctuary from such treatment, a problem experts say is growing along with the age of the nation's population.
The number of Americans 65 and over is projected to nearly double by 2030 because of the 74 million baby boomers born in 1946-64, and the number of people 85 and over is increasing at an even faster rate. As many as 2 million seniors are abused, exploited or neglected every year, judging by available statistics and surveys, but experts say there could be many more. Some research indicates that one in 10 seniors have suffered some form of abuse at least once.
"That's a big number," said Sharon Merriman-Nai, project director of the Clearinghouse on Abuse and Neglect of the Elderly, based at the University of Delaware. "It's a huge issue, and it's just going to get bigger."
Recognition of and mechanisms for dealing with elder abuse are many years behind strides that have been made in child abuse awareness and protection, experts say.
Getting comprehensive numbers of the abused is complicated, experts say, because the vast majority of cases go unreported out of embarrassment, fear of being cut off from family — most abuse is at the hands of relatives — or confusion about what has happened.
Abuse sometimes comes to light only by chance. County-level adult protective services caseworkers can get anonymous tips. In one recent Ohio case, a hairstylist noticed her elderly client was wincing in pain and got her to acknowledge she had been hit in the ribs by a relative. Another Shalom Center patient was referred by sheriff's detectives who said his son beat him.
"Are these older people going to be allowed to live their lives the way they deserve to?" said Carol Silver Elliott, CEO of the Cedar Village retirement community, of which the Shalom Center is a part. "We really are not addressing it as a society the way we should."
The Obama administration has said it has increased its focus on protecting American seniors by establishing a national resource center and a consumer protection office, among other steps. But needs are growing at a time when government spending on social services is being cut on many levels or not keeping up with demand.
In Ohio, slowly recovering from the recession, budgets have been slashed in such areas as staffs that investigate elderly abuse cases.
The Job and Family Services agency in Hamilton County in Cincinnati has about half the staff it had in 2009, spokesman Brian Gregg said. Even as national statistics indicate elder abuse is increasing, the number of elder abuse cases the agency can probe is lower, down from 574 cases in 2009 to 477 last year, he said.
There are no longer enough adult protective services investigators to routinely check on older adults unless there is a specific report of abuse or neglect.
"We do the best we can down here," Gregg said, noting that the agency has a hotline to take anonymous reports and that it is seeing more financial scams targeting elderly people.
The price for not getting ahead of the problem and preventing abuse of people who would otherwise be healthy and financially stable will be high, warned Joy Solomon, a former Manhattan assistant prosecutor who helped pioneer elder abuse shelters with the Weinberg Center for Elder Abuse Prevention, which opened in 2005 at the Hebrew Home community in New York City.
"My argument always is, if all you do is come in when the crisis has occurred, it is much more costly than preventative care," said Solomon, director of the shelter, which takes in about 15 people a year. "We're going to have to pay for it anyway."
She and others in the field say the first steps are to raise public awareness and train police, lawyers, criminal justice officials and others to recognize and respond to signs of abuse.
Prosecutors often have been reluctant to purse elder abuse cases, which can be complex because of medical and financial complications, the witness' ability to testify or reluctance to testify against relatives, according to research for the National Institute of Justice.
In suburban Los Angeles, Orange County started an Elder Abuse Forensic Center nearly 10 years ago; it helps police, geriatrics specialists, lawyers and social services workers coordinate efforts to identify, investigate and prosecute abuse cases.
New York City started its Elder Abuse Center to 2009 to bring a multi-organization approach to the problem, saying nearly 100,000 older people are abused in their homes in the city alone. While he was Ohio's attorney general in 2009, Richard Cordray, now director of the federal Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, started the state Elder Abuse Commission, something current Attorney General Mike DeWine has continued.
The commission has focused on training and education and hopes to launch a public awareness campaign this year, said Ursel McElroy, the longtime adult protection services investigator who leads it. The commission also has been pushing for legislation to improve legal protection and abuse prevention, expand training, and improve statistical data.
In New York, part of the Weinberg Center's mission is to help other communities replicate it. It has assisted shelter startups in upstate New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island and Minnesota along with the Shalom Center in Ohio.
The center marked its anniversary in January. While more than 40 people have been referred to the nonprofit, faith-based center, only three have gone through with admittance, signs of the reluctance of people who fear losing family relationships — even if they are bad — or the feeling of being at home.
Set up as a "virtual shelter" because victims are integrated into the full Cedar Village retirement community, it is meant to provide 60- to 90-day emergency stays while caseworkers provide help and seek out the best alternative, such as with a different caregiver or relative.
In the case of the woman who complained of abuse in a relative's home, a call to adult protective services by someone familiar with her led to an investigation and her referral to the shelter.
She has little money, health problems and few alternatives, and after a while, she asked if she could stay at Cedar Village permanently. Caseworkers and officials at the nonprofit, faith-based home agreed that was the best place for her.
The center asked that her identity be protected for this story because the close relatives who allegedly abused her don't know where she is.
She paints, plays in a residents' bell choir, plays bingo with others regularly, and has her own room and TV to watch favorites such as "Ellen" and reruns of "I Love Lucy."
The healthy diet at the center means she misses some of her favorite foods — beans and corn bread, fried pork chops. But she loves the tuna salad, the group activities and having a life with people who care about her.
"I've got quite a few friends," she says. "They're just nice people here. I have somebody to talk to, and I appreciate it."
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Well we confine homosexuals with our young impressionable boys, why not hire thugs to watch the old. It's the American way.
Robert, good job! How the heck did you write all of that, wanking someone else's dick in your hand?
I was in the Army. They teach you well. Thanks for asking.
WHAT?? that's intelligent...
No, it's the truth, but you wouldn't understand that now would you. You just want to be trendy.
I would love to send this lady a card. I wish they would give her a pseudo name and give us the center address so we could send her something.
Abuse of any one, any age is horrible; thus you would think that stories/situations like these would make child abusers a bit more reticent to beat up their child as......1/ the child can do unto you what you did to them when they were young and defenseless; and 2/ your child gets to choose your nursing home. Elder abuse won't stop until child abuse stops.
Big,
You are partially right. Often the abused parent was once an abuser. But that isn't always the case. Sometimes the kids are just spoiled brats. Sometimes the kids have become drug addicts and then all decency goes out the window. Sometimes there are no kids, but relatives who see dollar signs. Sometimes kids carry grudges against parents for imagined slights that never even happened. Surely you've met some of those people? Everything is mom and dad's fault. I am not responsible for any of my own bad choices?
O.K. so most people are fortunate enough to have kids to look after them and help be their advocate but, people with no children, like myself, are overlooked we don't ALL have children and get tired of being put in the same category as everyone else "with kids" when you don't have children it's amazing how people who even know you don't have children - act like you do. Conversations always revolve around people's kids it gets to be pathetic get a life of your own and quit talking about "your kids" all the time. My Dad is in an assisted living and the help is great. The CNA's need to be paid more they work extremely hard and it is very physically demanding and a great way to get injured. They deserve more money more than other jobs that are often the topic of pay.
no kids - I don't have children either. I've wondered what will happen to me. I'm 77 and in good shape, but I notice that most people lose their ability to do for themselves around 85.
Yes, I agree about 85 I saw it happen to my Dad about age 83 only because of a hip surgery that didn't go as planned otherwise he really would be O.K. and self-sufficient. I don't know what to say I hope you have someone I am not really close to any of my nieces again, I am older they don't take an interest in me I would always call them but, have given up. It is all about being "young" their turn will come...
Our youth worshipping culture doesn't revere age the way other cultures do. I lived in Hawaii and they take care of their elders, listen to them and honor them. Our elderly should have the respect, love and care that they gave their children and grandchildren and not abused, ignored or pushed aside. What's the matter with our people?
Summertime-549913---They are sick!!! And they are spoiled rotten!!! To top it all off we have a president that has used the old to threaten the whole country with every time he wants to raise the debt ceiling, to pay for everything under the sun but the people that are retired and will be retiring. We are just a cost figure to Obama and the Democrats..Something to tap into to pay for Obama-Care!!
Elder abuse will decline when child abuse declines. Some parents need to remember that 1/ they will reap what they sowed when they beat their kids and 2/ the children will get to choose the parents' nursing homes.
Summertime I know how you feel I think about it too it can be a scary thought
This article makes me furious. Sure there are some children who might abuse their elderly parents and steal their money. But there are still plenty of good children who take care of their elders. So the proposed solution of elderly abuse is more tax dollars for another whole army of government workers who will go around and check to see that children are taking care of their parents. Please spare me. I have been taking care of my parents for 12 years now. My father just recently passed away at age 93. He recovered from a broken leg at 75, a broken hip at 84, had wet macular degeneration and was going deaf. My mother is about to turn 90 this year and is in the final stages of Alzheimer's. My other three siblings wanted to put both of them in an assisted living home twelve years ago which would have drained all their money in about five years and then they would have been transferred to a State or county nursing home if they lasted that long. Three of my grandparents died in my house when I was a child growing up. My parents cared for them relentlessly up until the day they each died. I saw them put their lives on hold to care for their folks. They taught me how to take care of them when they reached that stage. I am following through on what they taught me. I quit my day job and work the swing shift to make things work. I promised both of them that they would never see a day in a nursing home as long as I am alive. The last thing my Dad said to me before he died was that he wanted to make sure I took good care of his wife, my Mom, which I assured him and he passed a few days later. I am hoping that someday one of my children do the same for me. I am not asking them to do it, I am showing them how to do it, just as my folks showed me with their folks.
Wait till Boehner and McConnel cut more out of government spending for our elderly and war veterans . Guess whos taxes are going to go up more ,,, the lower and middle class . Ryan already has stated republicans are not going to raise taxs just squeeze more out of us .
Glad this poor excuse for a human being doesn't know where this woman is now. There is no excuse for abusing and taking advantage of the elderly.One day you will be old and I doubt that you would want to be treated that way. The elderly deserves more respect and shouldn't be cast aside like they don't matter. I love learning from their wisdom and they tell interesting stories if you give them the time.
You know if you think of it the older people of the this country are of the Greatest Generation that helped defend this whole world from the tyranny of rouge governments. The next generation was thrown into the Korean War right after WWII and then came the Baby Boomers. The Boomers were thrown into Indochina, Vietnam and numerous other little wars, we had no choice but go out and defend the world many times. So now after all of that we see the elderly are thrown yet into another war, a nursing home and abuse. The wife and I did everything in our power to keep our parents, from the Greatest Generation, out of nursing homes so they could live with people they knew and cared about, family. We did accomplished that goal.
Today's generation, I have no idea what they are thinking about and wonder what in the hell will happen to the wife and I when we get to a point in life were we need assistance. Now that is scary as hell to me. Obama has threatened the Baby Boomers at every turn. They have taken away from us, one of the generations that paid for Social Security-Medicare-Medicaid all of our working lives, and given those dollars to a program that will be larger than life. How do we afford to keep up with the added expenses we will have to pay. What about the cost of living that we can not afford on fixed incomes?
I guess this is just another war that we have been thrown into by the Uncle Sam and the younger generations. One helluva of way to say thank you or should that be screw you.
Reading this really ticked me off!
Let me start by telling you all, I took care of my parents fulltime for 9 1/2 years and partime for many years and through many illnesses before that. Any day they were in the hospital, I was right there with them taking care of them and helping the nursing and other staff care for them. Any time they had to spend time in a nursing home rehab center, I was there for hours everyday. There were times when both my parents were in the hospital at the same time, or one was in the hospital and the other in rehab..............I split my time between floors or facilities to make sure they were well taken care of, I wheeled the one that was capable of being transported between floors so they could visit with the other. When they needed something (bed pan, blankets, food, shifting. etc.) and the nurse wasn't available, I took care of their needs. Was it hard..........You bet, did I do it........you bet, was I stressed out, exhausted and my patience stretched to the limit at times............YOU BET! but you know what folks, that's just part of lifes journey, part of the program, and something everyone will eventually have to deal with..........if you can't deal with it find somebody who you trust, that can. But for god sake don't abuse them and don't let anyone else abuse them!
With that said, as far as I'm concerned, Obama and the rest of the government need to drop THEIR idiotic agendas and get on the ball taking care of our seniors!
These seniors took damn good care of all of us in our growing years and our country...........and now their relatives and our government are going to abuse them. DISGUSTING!
Abuse comes in many forms, from neglect, physical, mental, financial, abuse and don't just think that it's just relatives that abuse the elderly because hospitals, nursing homes, and financial institutions all hold high spots on the lists of abuses as well.
One last thing........and this always irked me about hospitals, and nursing home/rehab centers............THE FOOD SUCKS...........THE BIG ONE! I don't believe it's too much to ask for "real" food for your patients who you make huge profits off of. People don't go to a nursing home to be starved to death with some special healthy diet, they go there to live out their last days and it's your job to keep them happy and comfortable in their final days, not to keep them alive a few weeks longer with that bland nasty "special diet" food you force them to eat! SO PLEASE, STOP ABUSING OUR ELDERLY WITH THAT NASTY FOOD...........give them whatever they want to eat............it's their stomach and it's their life, you are not meant to be their prison guards!
Stop blaming Obama. It's the Republicans who want to throw our seniors under the bus.
Troll alert
Most elder abuse is committed by family members who, driven by their own financial difficulty or just plain greed, take control of their elderly relative's finances and convert their money to their own use.
It is important that all seniors consult an attorney and establish a plan for their care in the event they are no longer able to make their own decisions regarding management of their finances as well as their medical care. Not all children necessarily are qualified or can be trusted to make such decisions.
Baloney.........Yes, there are some family members that abuse them financially, but there are far more instances of abuse by attorneys and financial institutions. My state alone had over 250 attornys they brought charges against in just 1 year. And, I know the financial institutions here are a huge criminal organization.........it seems to be one big family affair in my state.
The best thing for any family to do is have a little get together to discuss who is going to handle the caregiving and make all of the arrangements themselves before the need arises. Put it all in writing and get every family members signature on it so their won't be any questions and no family squabbles......but definitely keep it your own personal families business.............the less the lawyers and financial institutions are involved, the better off the family will be.
P.S. I didn't blame Obama, that's your personal misperception.
Are you kidding me or what? Are you a fall down lawyer for the elderly looking for clients? Is the invisible hand the one you stick in other people's pockets and steal their wallet? Anyone who would use the term "most" elder abuse is surely an imbecile. You sound like an advertisement for Scheister, Scheister and Scheister LLP.
As caretaker of a 93 year old mother who is very alert, relatively mobile, and coping with her many pains, I can attest to the challenge of respecting the autonomy of the very old and knowing when to apply benevolent paternalism. Many among our elderly are living long but agonizingly painful lives even under the best of caring environments. But, those that are being physically and emotionally abused are far too many for us to tolerate as a caring society, one that has been brought to question by the lack of an effective national family policy. Government spending is not the only answer to the growing crisis of elder abuse that serves as a true metaphor for the state of American values. We also need to look more critically at the fragility of our American safety net, now looking more like swiss cheese. The patchwork approaches of Obamacare, another gun control bill, and legalizing marijuana are mere political band-aids that evade the bigger problem of an eroding morality that puts a price tag on human decency. Until we take time to take these questions away from politicians and assume civic responsibility to bring back the ethics of caring, the United States of America will continue to rot from within.
Obamacare would be a lot less of a patchwork solution had the President not reached out to Republicans and incorporated their ideas, especially that of eliminating the public option. In the end, it didn't get a single Republican vote.
Take the Obama Sticker off you forehead. It is obvious you're a troll.
This story, and the comments that
accompany it, are just the tip of the iceberg. As a nurse working in
Medicare, rehabilitation, hospice, dementia, and long-term (
Skilled,) settings I've seen it all. The best and the worst. The best
is more profound than I have the skills to express, and the worst I
can't even begin to tell, it would be too much. My experience though
has been this; As the story clearly points out the vast majority of
abuse is carried out by relatives of the victims, and not paid
caregivers. This is an all too common problem brought about by a
combination of dependance, guilt and lack of training. Neglect on the
other hand is more common in the skilled facilities. This is not for
lack of training or compassion on the part of nurses or aides, but a
simple fact of under-staffing which gets worse with every passing
year. It's simple math; On an average 12 hour shift I have 30
patients to care for, so without a lunch, or breaks, that gives me 24
minutes apiece. And since clearly many need much more than 24 minutes
of care in 12 hours the ones that can fend for themselves are
expected too. With the numbers that will pour into the system in the
next 20 years this is a perfect storm that will amount to a flood of
misery. Some days I contemplate leaving nursing rather than staying
and seeing this happening to nursing. I could go on but if one wants
the real story find the book, Code Green; Money Driven Hospitals and
the Dismantling of Nursing, by Dana Beth Weinberg published by
Cornell University Press, and you'll get a glimpse into just how
serious an issue this is.
P S to dam tired of this above; I once had a woman tell me " You know the food should be better....After all this could be my last meal!" I could not agree more.
So it's called abuse when a family member doesn't take care of their elderly parents because they don't have a certificate from a junior college or a nursing school, but it isn't abuse in a nursing home or rehab center when they are understaffed, that is just simple neglect? Come on. If you think you are underpaid and overworked, you shouldn't be in the business. Go get another job. Nursing homes and hospitals that are supposed to care for the elderly are usually run pathetically these days from top to bottom.
Ah.....Yes there is a major difference,
both legally and practically between abuse and neglect. (In fact
there is a legal difference between neglect and simple neglect.) If
you are not aware that those are two completely different events,
with two completely different motivations, ( although the outcome
admittedly may be the same,) then I’m not sure that you are
competent to comment. As for leaving the profession.....I already
admitted that I have contemplated it.....But I have been persuaded to
believe that the profession is better off, (along with the patients,)
being occupied with individuals that are aware of the monumental
challenges facing it, and are distressed by what they see....Than
abandoning it completely to those that could care less.( By the way
abandonment is another separate legal term that is also different
from neglect or abuse, one that you might want to acquaint yourself
with to involve yourself in this discussion....And many of the
individuals that have endeavored to persuade me to stay in nursing
are family members of the ones I care for.)
As a senior citizen, I must say that in my own mind, I am definitely entering the scariest part of my life. I have always been a very independent person, who was able to care for myself, no matter what the issues were. I spent 16 years in the military and traveled extensively. After my time in the military, I traveled, and did what I felt like doing. If I felt like things would be better somewhere else, I had the abilities, and the financial abilities go where I wanted. Now I am getting older, and some days I do well to get up, and get out of the house. Yet, I do, and I continue to live my life like I want, but I realize that any day that could change. My children are all raised, and some of them I never hear from, their lives are their own, and that's their choice. My wife is not in good health, and I don't know what I would do would out her. She is my lifeline to the real world, and without her, I don't know how real my world would be, but I know I would continue to try.
Fortunately for me, I know I can always go to a veterans home and get care, how good, I won't know until I get there, but I can only hope that its good. I know I don't want to have to live my end days in misery and pain, and be alone. It is kind of scary when I read in the papers obituary section where young people, some much younger than I am are passing away by the dozen. Many of my high school classmates are already gone, and some are in bad shape, but fortunately for me my heath is still good. Of course, I try to stay away from doctors as much as I can, and take only the bare necessities in medications. I see a doctor about ever 6 months, and even after falling off a ladder last year, I only went to the emergency room to make sure I hadn't broke anything.
Its like the saying, "Getting old is hard, and the winds blow colder than they did when I was younger." Someone ask me how old I was not long ago, and I joking said, I was old enough to remember Sears and Roebuck catalogs in the outhouse. I just hope that those who have elder parents will remember them, and remember what they did for them. We may not be the class acts we once were, but we are still class acts.
Yes, sir...you are a class act... :)
Rivers,
I occasionally work at the VA facility near my home. I have to say that I have found the care to be very good, the food to be rather poor and the nursing and support staff to be excellent. But I can't speak for all the VA hospitals. I have heard some horror stories about some of them, although I have never seen any problems myself.
Let's get Sen. Dianne Fienstien to enact a ban on elders! That way it will never happen again. No elders, no abuse! Seems logical to me!
We need to also address what causes some of the elder abuse, caretaker burnout. It is one of the main causes and it comes out of desperation and burnout.
If a caretaker is burned out they need to get out of the profession. Go work somewhere else for a while, or forever.
Charlie: I think Jessegrrl is more likely referring to family caregivers. Paid caregivers get to leave at the end of their shift, can quit, etc. The expectation that a family member will be the caregiver for an elder indefinitely can and does cause profound depression and burnout. (contrary to some of the anecdotal testimonials provided here).
Watching your parents gradually go downhill and become dependent on others is so sad. Mine loved me and took care of me as a child when I was helpless, I could do no less for them. How anyone could abuse a totally defenseless, weak elderly person is beyond me.. it must take a real bottom-feeding POS to do that. Abusers of elderly should pull a minimum of 10 years is prison with no parole. To those who abuse the elderly, you will be elderly one day, and I hope you are repaid 10-fold.
There is nothing new about elderly people being abused. In the late 70's a women working for River City Bank in Sacramento had not seen one of her costumers in a few weeks and went to check on him. His son had him locked in his own home, was starving him and would not allow him out. She put a stop to that and called the police. Watch your elderly neighbors closely and check on them. We stopped our neighbor from being swindled out of her money by a relative. Police cannot be every where but we can and putting an A--hole behind bars is rewarding.
It has nothing to do with child abuse. First, the young generation are no longer taught to respect their elders.
Then there's the money factor. If you've given your adult cihildren money than they'll want everything they can get when you're old. Look at Spain. The adult children return home because of the bad economy. The elderly parents go broke supporting their adult children and grandchildren. The adult children in turn keep their parents out of necessary nursing care to keep the money and support themselves. The parents are dying miserably.
China has one thing above other nations. They have laws forcing adult children to respect their elders. Theiy're not permitted under law to return home and live off their parents. They call it "leaching off your elders".
This is for Common Man. Before you continue to spew some of the lies that began before the election, you need to get your facts straight. Obama care did not steal 700 billion dollars from Medicare. Through some of the money saving policies already put in place by Obamacare, the program save 760 million which were plugged into further expansion of the Medicare program, and it was not done at the expense of recipients but rather from savings. This outrageous lie was debunked by CNN's fact checkers and other major media outlets but it didn't stop knuckleheads like you, Fox news, Rush L. and company to continue to ignore the facts. I'm sure you have your own conspiracy theory dellusional thinking to justify this outright lie.
Falsetto, take the Obama bumper sticker off your forehead, it is clouding your ability to think. Wow, if CNN checked the facts, it must be true...are you kidding me or what? Money saving policies already put in place by Obamacare? What planet are you talking about. Insurance premiums have gone up on everyone, unless you work on Capitol Hill. Medicare puts out new non-covered benefits directives on a monthly basis now, slowly but surely whittling down what the bankrupted social entitlement program will cover in the future. I guess you aren't a senior and haven't had to go to the hospital lately and find out what your new plan actually gets you these days. Go to Canada or Britain and ask common folk how much they love their socialized medicine.
I cherish my independence. There is no way I would want to survive to the point of regressing to being a defenseless infant in an elderly body. One thing to require a temporary caregiver during recovery from an injury, surgery or illness, but requiring assistance to eat, bath, dress, go to the toilet, etc., for the rest of my life would be an unbearable hell to me. Hopefully, if I should live to the point of needing a caregiver for the basics, euthanasia will be legal in the U.S. It is insane to have to travel abroad to depart this earth with dignity intact on my terms. Many people prefer to keep breathing for as long as possible at any cost regardless of their quality of life, but that is not for me. I did my time as a totally dependent defenseless infant and once was enough. Being elderly will be fine as long as I am able to care for myself and live independently. I do not fear becoming old and eventually going to my grave. However, losing my freedom and independence would be horrific, a living nightmare to me.
Three Reasons To Be Nice To The Elderly:
1. They are sweet, with much knowledge.
2. They are precious.
3. You will one day, also be elderly.
================================
To hang tough-
To be fortunate to live long enough.
I know there are bad people/relatives out there. Ones who take advantage of the elderly.
but in example of what may be percieved as abuse which isn't (though I hope you tell me if I am wrong here with my premise). My mum is hard of hearing, so when she asks me something and I face her and answer she will somtimes (actually often) ask "what?" I then reply louder (not much louder I don't think) and at that point she will either wince (as if I were yelling) she will say "I heard you" or she will say "you don't have to yell" I know I am not yelling, but it sure seems it to her. Then there are the times I am in the middle of something and she yells asking for help, I drop what I am doing to find out she needs a bottle opened in maybe five or ten minutes, or she'd like her laundry brought down the next day, or even that she needs me to get something that she is blocking me from getting to. So I will go around her ( through three other rooms) to get to the item she needs and she will make a comment about my seeming agravated. On the other hand she will take off her shoes and throw them in the corner of her room before bed, and when I run up to see if she's fallen again she just says "oh those were just my ____, do you want something?"
*sigh* I know that I just ranted, but I hope none of you'll mind, its not easy looking after an elderly family member.