Another aspect of the problem is the medical aid workers. Most of them are uneducated and untrained. A close friend of mine that has been partially paralyzed by strokes, pays for aids to "help". If they show up, they usually just sit and do nothing, root through her jewelry and personal effects, and some have been caught stealing jewelry. One was there when she collapsed with another stroke, and instead of calling for help, she called her boyfriend and left, leaving her patient to manage on her own. Which meant trying to crawl through the house to a phone. Most of the people these places hire ARE uneducated immigrants. They just want the money and could care less about the person . And the companies that hire them are too cheap to train them properly.

Proof of your statement that "most of the people these places hire ARE uneducated immigrants." Very, very doubtful. I personally know several home health aids and they are very fine, caring people who do not do this for the money.

Where are you getting your information from Kitty because it sounds like you have no first hand knowledge to back up what you're saying. I happen to work for one of these home care facilities as the scheduling and hiring manager. Our caregivers are bonded, insured and go through a lengthy background check with includes driving records, police records, a drug test and a run through the sexual predator database. They are also trained on our dime and not just to STNA levels. Many of our caregivers have the credentials of a nurse, but since we specialize in non-medical homecare, this sort of training is not a pre-requisite for being hired, but it sure helps. NONE of our caregivers are immigrants, much less uneducated immigrants. We do not hire just anyone to meet some affirmative action quota. Our clients' safety and well-being come first. The family members of these aging folks want someone who will truly care for their relative, not a glorified babysitter. But you get what you pay for. Our services don't come cheap for a reason. Its because we employ the best of the best. Anyone who's in the business just for a paycheck need not apply with us.

Jenny, Thanks for setting her straight.. You are correct.

My only worries are that with obama care, they will put them in the camps and homes they are going to

provide.. I know what happens then..

With all due respect, it is unfair to judge an entire profession due to a few bad apples that your friend hired. Did your friend do criminal and background checks? Drug testing? Checked references? These things are an absolute must. No one should just hire people off the street to care for themselves or their family members. Doing proper research, will get you proper people as a general rule. I take offence to your statements about "most" of us. Having worked in this profession for years with other skilled, and dedicated individuals, many of whom are in various stages of pursuing nursing degrees, I must conclude that your knowledge of my profession is very limited. MOST of us are dedicated to our jobs and clients, MOST of us even love our clients and consider them family, MOST of us would never abuse, neglect, or take advantage of a client at any point or for any reason, MOST of us go out of our way and do more than is required of us in order to ensure the health, safety and happiness of our clients. SOME of us have even chipped in when a client was short on a utility bill or brought them food because they didn't have any. All professions have bad apples, yours included.

I agree with the statement that most care givers today in the major cities in amerika are mostly the uneducated or barely educated immigrants from other countries. In most cases they are decent people and we shouldn't generalize when describing them.

The point however that the care givers are not the best educated and most dedicated BECAUSE there isn't enough fincancial compensation for those people IS THE REASON.

We simply allowed our societies to be run by the lowest bidder so to speak. Instead of hiring the best teachers, nurses, public workers etc. we institutionally lower their wages such as firefighters for example and eventually drive most of the good dedicated one OUT of the field alltogether.

We simply have also allowed corporations to manage our waning years. What a disgrace. Corporations are evil legal entities with charters to maximize profit and increased productivity which means the manager will fire you to hire a replacement at a lower wage if the corpoartion thought it could save money. ALL human and personall well being aspects of long term retirement have all but been eliminated.

All I can finally say is that it is mostly our fault for letting it happen. We have blessed costco and walmart with our spending choices and have therefore empowered this evil and inhuman ending for most of us. No more corporate retirement plans YOU ON YA OWN!!!

This is what we get for messing with what has traditionally go on for centuries. A family takes care of the elderly and they pass on with love and caring. The american culture (or lack of it) has managed to instituionalize "home care" or "assisted living" and has traditionally and with the help of zionist driven TV, brainwashed us to just expect to do that. When my parent ages, I'll put them at the local assisted living place. WHAT a SHAM. Fractured culture made up of disconnected and disjointed people as if we were cattle ...

My elderly mom, who just passed away, had wonderful care both from her residences (first in a senior facility chosen by her in her home town, then one in mine when I needed her closer to be able to more closely monitor her care.) She also had an in home care aid while we were making the transition. There is not a person who cared for her that was not kind and gentle. Still, supervision by family DOES help. Even when she was hundreds of miles from me, I was a frequent "surprise" visitor; while she was near me, I made sure to visit her from time to time on all shifts. While I never uncovered any unkindness or deliberate misconduct, there were occasional errors resulting from caregivers not understanding her situation, readily rectified once discovered.

Jean, it is so sad that you are worried Obama Care. I would ask you and others that feel the way you do is to consult with the AARP website to check out what you hear from fear mongers like Beck and Limbaugh. If your fear was valid, you would hear about the AARP making a lot of noise on Capital Hill.

It is not the money for medicare it is the attitude towards the elderly. Irish-n-green screw AARP I suggest you read the patient directive your doctor had you sign. AARP is an insurance company disguised as a senior advocate and could care less about us . Screw Beck and Limbaugh too read the PPACA now there is a horror story to give you nightmares. I dare you to read it instead of kissing the AARP's butt.

What everyone is still missing is that we live in a culture where elder care is something most of us won't do and just pawn it off on someone else, or the govt. Spend some time in countries, or just look at many of the immigrants living here, and you will see families stepping up to take care of their elders...as it should be. As the owner of a home healthcare biz, I see it everyday...families want others to handle the problems.

@Conrad-1865098

As a senior, allI can say is that your anti-capitalist, anti corporate rant is BS! Most of my friends, aged 65 - 85 get along just fine. While I feel bad for people like the woman in the story, remember she's in a small minority of seniors. Most of us have families who treat us well, and most that I know who have outside help are treated quite well by caregivers who genuinely care about their well being.

Most elder abuse comes from family members.This was stated in the article.Money is usually misused as is inflicting emotional and physical abuse.Anybody who gets caught abusing an elderly person should serve 25 years in prison,no and's ifs or buts.The message needs to be sent loud and clear.My 87 year old mother still drives and my brother lives with she and my stepdad.He takes wonderful care of them But if the day comes when he can't be there for them I will be taking care of them.I promised no nursing home for either one for them and I am keeping my promise.they worked hard all of their lives and deserve to be taken care of loving family.People need to start taking care of their elderly relatives instead of trusting their care to strangers.And family members should be checking up on their elderly relatives even if a family member is caring for them.

If families gave a damn about their elder relatives, the home health care business would not exist. Perhaps, If our society, (if you can call it that), hadn't abandoned and vacated it's respect, compassion and thought of some one aside from ones self, this would not be news. The truth is, it's easier to put them in a home and forget about them. My kids in their teens and twenties used to go to "old folks homes" just to spend time with the old folks and help them out with things, they learned of things and experiences they never would have in school. For many, they were their only visitor's, and their families lived in the same town. How sad is that? The old folks got to converse with someone genuinely interested in what they thought, had experienced, wisdom they might pass along, and guess what? They loved it. They still volunteer at retirement homes and hospices when there's someone alone in the world or who's family just won't visit.

My Sister and I took care of our father until his death from asbestosis. We didn't consider it a burden, after all, were it not for him, we would not be here to begin with. We took it as something we OWED our father, after all he was there for us. So we should turn our backs on him when he got sick? I think not.

Everyone is so absorbed with their own problems and wants, they turn their backs on their relatives or they abuse them because them being around cramps their style. Take up for these home health aids if you like, I know many of them simply don't do the job they are being paid to do. Many people I know and friends have told me about, have had money, jewelry and other valuables stolen and worst of all, not giving the care required to the patient.

It's time to stop thinking only of ourselves and start thinking about those relatives getting on. Without viewing them as a burden or a source of income. But then, I guess asking most under sixty to give a damn is simply too much to ask. You all talk a good game, but when the time comes to step, you step back or put them in a home and leave them to die. Actions speak far louder than words. Always have, always will. Congratulations, you've become the I, Me, I, Me and f**k you generations.

Anne2320787, how is a legally blind paraplegic going to do all that checking? She has to rely on so-called board certifications. Just as a point of fact, in out state, Minn. the Atty Gen. is investigating myriad cases like this. She has no access to pc, only to the state Social systems such as they are. And the SUCK!

Kitty, what you say is all to true. I work in APS(Adult Protective Services). The things that I see on a daily basis are sickening. People in the world for the most part are good people, but there are a growing number of people that have absolutly no respect or value for human life.

OldDog47- I am so glad that you have family that cares about you.

I'm sorry she is incapable of checking and apparently doesn't have friends or family who care enough about her to help her with this task. It must be very lonely and frustrating for her. The fact that she is alone in this task, however, speaks volume for the friends, family and society that has abandoned her, rather than any caregiver. Regardless, her difficulites in performing the proper checks on her care providers, do not make your statements about my profession any more true or fair. Unless you know and have experience with the work, ethics and character of MOST of us, whether we work for the state, private companies, care homes, or any other entities, your statements are irresponsible, unfair and inflammatory.

I can't imagine why anyone would want to abuse a relative who could have so much knowledge and experience to share. It's so sad to see these people tossed aside like garbage after they have dedicated decades of hard work and effort in raising families and securing futures.

Not everyone has family. Sometimes the only family is an equally elderly spouse who is in no condition to do the lifting, bathing, and toileting necessary to care for someone after a stroke or other incapacitating medical condition. Sometimes the child of the elderly person is a single mom who must work to provide for her own children. She doesn't have the luxury of quitting her job to care for an aging parent.

I really hate when people condemn families who are often struggling to meet all the demands of being both a parent and a caregiver and a wage earner. If you haven't walked a mile in their shoes, you have no idea of how demanding and difficult it can be to care for an elderly parent who is partially deaf, no longer sees well, has mobility issues and is suffering from dementia. No one can or should do that job twenty-four hours a day.

I had one client who had severe Alzheimers. She would take off all her clothes, or decide that she had been kidnapped because this wasn't her house. She was always scheming for ways to get out of the house and take off down the street as naked as a jaybird. Her son had to work in order to provide her with a home. So he hired caregivers for her while he was at work. After a long, hard day at work, he came home to someone who didn't know who he was, called the police to report him as a burglar, or hid in the backyard to escape him. She would throw food at him, call him names and even went after him with a butcher knife.

Every evening, he would walk in the door with dread on his face. Even after she went to bed, there was no guarantee that she wouldn't wake up and take off in the middle of the night, so he locked her in her room so that he would be able to sleep.

After several years of this he was almost demented himself. He finally put her in a nursing home so that he could sleep at night. Don't you dare say he was being selfish. The poor man was physically and emotionally exhausted. He just couldn't do it anymore.

I did home health care as an LVN (or LPN everywhere else but Ca and Texas). I need my CPR card, as my license and nurse insurance. And, my IV/blood withdrawal Certifications and Vent/Trach Certifications helped. I was not cheap and I was hired through a company. Because I'm a licensed nurse, I've been background checked and fingerprinted and put through a nationwide data base, which illegals, whom I'm assuming your referring to, are not nor can they graduate from a nursing program (I think CNA's too) or receive a license through the state.

If you don't hire through a company, you are NOT going to get anyone who is qualified to take care of patients, especially the vulnerable elderly and the disabled. Medicare does pay for those that qualify.

Those of you who have your elderly relatives at home with/without home healthcare aids, or in a retirement/assisted living they are lucky! The ones I truly feel sorry for are those living in some of these "skilled nursing" facilities. My husband needed to be in one. I had more medical knowledge than the director of nursing in that facility. He had private insurance, medicare, and long-term care insurance. He was a cash cow for them which is why they were reluctant to release him. Thankfully he didn't die there from neglect, but instead he died surrounded by family in hospice. He shouldn't have had to die to begin with, but that's another long story which I cannot share.

I would have to agree with Kitty as well. I have seen good healthcare aids and bad healthcare aids here in NY. The good ones are generally kind and compassionate people, the bad ones are always questioning every little thing that requires some degree of effort because they like to sit and do nothing while still getting a paycheck through their company. And if I wasn't there to report it at that time, it would have gone unchecked.

Another thing to remember is that most patients are unlikely to ask for help if they feel that their caregivers refuse to listen to them.

My father passed a month ago, and my mother passed three years before that. Although my siblings and I cared for them at home until the end, there was a need for health home aids to assist us at points. In the last six years, we had several and all but one were excellent. One took advantage of our father and took quite a bit of money from him. We reported her to the agency promptly upon finding out and she was removed. The others were all professional, kind, caring, and a big help to us during a terrible time.

Not all families can go it alone and not all illnesses are equal. Protracted stress and exhaustion for the caregiver can be a real issue and a health aide can be very beneficial in avoiding further problems.

Absolutely despicable that this type of abuse is coming from the hands of their relatives. I expected the article to be about abuses within the care home, not from their sons and daughters. $%^%ing pigs! May they be shown the amount of love and compassion which they bestowed upon their parents.

Most Americans who can afford to keep their elderly relatives won't, they barely take care of their children, who are usually cared for by strangers (day care, nannies, babysitters). Expecting them to give up their "me time" is asking WAY too much...(yes, that was sarcasm).

It is a shame, many could stay in their own homes or with other friends/relatives that actually do care about them; but if they need a little assistance the government and insurance companies want them in nursing homes, where they can be ignored, treated with disrespect and/or abused. They are treated little better than prisoners in many cases.

Social security and medicare need revamping, the money the gov't. would save, by not shipping everyone off to nursing homes, would cover it.

As our society and culture has changed, so have the resources for elder care. When extended families used to live in the same place, there was always someone to sit with "granny" for a while. No one person had to provide all the care. I just recently went through the nightmare of trying to care for elder family members long distance with no help from my siblings. My sons, who lived locally, gave up hours and hours of their time on their grandparent's behalf while trying to support families of their own. There are no easy answers to this issue. I recommend that those of you who are in your 60's and 70's and still "with it" plan ahead so that you are in a safe place when you can't be independent anymore and so that no one is just "expected" to take care of you. My husband and I are in our 60's and we have our own plans and they are spelled out in our living wills. I urge all senior to plan ahead. With smaller families and scattered relatives, expecting your family to take over complete care of you when you are no longer able to live alone is selfish. There is no excuse for abusing anyone, let alone a helpless elder relative. But we do need some compassion as well for the family caregivers who are so overwhelmed in a society where the elderly are not valued and reliable help is so hard to find.

I would also like to suggest another possible reason for the upswing in abuse of the aging. If this senior was abusive too his or her children as they were raising them then they taught those children who when they became the caregiver to be abusive as well. I am not in any way suggesting it is right but even as adults our children act on what they were taught as children. So IMO many seniors are recieving the same treatment they handed out when they were in control.

You know one way to 'fix' this issue is to quit inflating our currency, quit allowing companies (especially banks) to play in the stock and securities market, and stop requiring both individuals in a relationship to work outside the home just to get by.

It's a bit 'old fashioned' I know, but if we re-oriented our economy back from a two person Income setting to a single income setting for a Married couple, and restored the expectation of the children taking care of the parents rather then them fend for themselves either through a 'proper' retirement (which very few have), or our elder care system (which is a bad joke), or the government (which will be bankrupt shortly) then maybe a lot of this stuff would iron itself out.

My only worries are that with obama care, they will put them in the camps and homes they are going to provide.. I know what happens then..

Camps? Homes? What are you talking about?

Getting the government involved is a slippery slope. Private agencies will only last as long as the money pool is wet. So what do we do? Take care of mom and dad at home? Some sage made a remark that for the price of a senior care facility, the senior could live on a cruise ship. Not a bad idea.

But every situation is, of course, unique. One acquaintance has a relative being poked and prodded, now stuck in a hospital, who doesn't want to be there. The DNR order is being ignored. The patient has expressed the desire to proceed with nature's coarse. With no one to 'spring' the patient, the patient is doomed to a series of 'treatments' much worse than being home with relatives. And believe me, if there was no pool of money this care would disappear.

I have no answers. Maybe there are none. This is not a 'one size fits all' situation. Just musing . . .

Since losing our home to foreclosure, my mom offered to have us stay with her in her home, which we did. Unfortunately, she couldn't keep up with her old, deteriorating home and the air conditioner/furnace broke. She sold her house via short sale, so we are now all living in an apartment - there are 3 of us. I don't work, my husband does. I have a seasonal job, so I take care of mom and we all get along fine. Thankfully, my 84-year old mother is in good mental health with some physical health issues. I have one sister and our extended family is not very big. The biggest problem I have is trying to keep my mom busy. At 84, she's still looking for a job as a caretaker, which she can't do. It's hard to convince someone who has been independent for years, that they should not take the responsibility for taking care of someone else. She forgets things. She will pick up the remote, thinking it's the phone, and vice versa. Her vision is bad, so she needs a lot of help reading recipes and reading is not her forte. Therefore, the things that would keep me busy, reading books, learning the computer - which I offered, but she doesn't want to be bothered - cannot occupy her time. So, we have to find things to keep her busy. That's not easy, because we don't have access to a car (my husband uses his for work) or public transportation.

My mom walks extremely slow, so I have to slow down to keep up, except when she's at the casino. We go there about once a month and I can't hardly find her to take her back home! I try to encourage her to walk around our complex, but she will only go out when it's nice, which now, since it's winter, is hard to do. I'm still trying to find things that will keep her interest, like games - we play gin rummy almost every day, etc. We do have a lot of good times, laughing, making jokes, but there are days when it's just plain difficult.

Saying all this, it's difficult to take care of an elderly person and not everyone can do it. I'm trying my hardest, and so is my sister, but they can be stubborn, not as willing to try new things, you have to deal with their depression, sometimes getting depressed yourself, you need to keep up with their medical appointments, medicine, finances, etc. It's tricky and hard work, but I couldn't leave her in a "home". She's our mom and took care of us when we were little, so now the roles need to reverse.

I am currently checking into adult day care, maybe just once or twice a week, as I think it's good for her to associate with people her own age. Not to mention, I need a break sometimes! I also need my patience levels to recharge!

I agree with you George, I've planned for those times. I will be gone before they put me in one of those hells. As I noted in another post. I've watched this happen to a friend of mine. So far I've been lucky and healthy,but not strong enough to be a caregiver, sadly. That changes, and I lose my health, I'm outa here!

George B.-773075, I totally agree with your words and it was sad to see that happen to someone that you knew. I am speaking from the experience of taking care of my grandpa and from the experience of my mother who had once worked for one of those retirement homes that had treated people wrong. She treated them right but the rest of the staff could care less for the people that were there and she quit almost as soon as she started her job. Finally, Kitty-1341278, let me just say to you and George that this is what happens when you get a society that is in charge that cares more for money than people, that promotes euthanasia, and that promotes abortion (read legalized murder of the unborn children). Also, Kitty, suicide is NOT the answer. The best solution that I can see would be to have assisted living apartments, condo complexes, or low-income housing. However, even then, you still have the human element and the moral element to contend with this issue.

@jenny-2549412 Sorry, but I witness one of the two I mentioned personally, at the first I showed up at my friends call within five minutes of her finding the girl with her ring. The second. I got a call from the hosp. after the amb. dropped her off and no one was in attendance at her house. She had to try and call 911, which she did. And this lady had been a nurse herself all her life. The woman that was supposed to help her could barely speak English the time I did ran into her. There are many service agencies that are NOT run to code. And sorry jean982597 Just hope you don't have to deal with it. Rose colored glasses don't always hide reality

Well, we do live in a splintered society. Families go to all corners of the country, and the world, in their lives. Once, many had multigenerational homes, where children routinely got to know their grandparents well. Course, we (human societies) once lived in tribes that routinely exiled those too old to work, as well. (Jacob Bronowski, in "The Ascent of Man", tells the touching story of the oldest man in a nomad tribe, being left behind as the tribe crossed the Bazuft River, with its flock. In that case, unlike ours though, the existance of the tribe depended upon using every ounce of everyone's energy to get the flock across the river [so none was left to help the old man across!].) Our case is different, because we have other things we'd rather spend our wealth on, than care for the elderly. (Ignoring the fact that every single one of us-- if we are fortunate-- will one day become "elderly") So, we do elder care on the cheap.

Our nationwide elderly care is spotty, at best. There are undeniably individuals and organizations, that provide adequate, professional, even loving care, for our aged people. There are also, undeniably, individuals and organizations that take money to warehouse the aged, where nursing homes, etc are just "death's waiting room"! It does no good to bemoan who we are though, or where we find ourselves. Those of us with a few years left before we become totally dependent on others, have to do what we can to improve the situation. Maybe building some bridges to our kids, or mending fences, would be helpful.

My siblings and I were there for our parents. I was there for my late wife. I can only do what I can to have somebody to be there for me. God, that sounds bleak! Sorry.

the problem has been for decades and remains that one sibling, typically the oldest is left to care entirely for their parents while the others go about their lives and do NOTHING. i have been doing this now for years and have never felt anger at any point other than towards my sisters who always assume it is my job as eldest to do EVERYTHING, but it isn't. i love my mother with all my heart but it is difficult being the only helping hand when i have a life and a family of my own to deal with as well.

as i get older and i also have health issues i am concerned about, i won't be able to do everything as i am now. it is an awful position to be in alone, the responsibility can be at times overwhelming. i am not angry rather i am worried that i won't be able to keep up with her needs and that i won't be able to get any help when that time comes. NOTE TO ALL THOSE WITH OLDER PARENTS, don't be a total horse's backside by sticking one of your siblings with all the responsibility of caring for your aging parent/s. it is wrong to do to your siblings and it is a horrible way to repay your parents for all the gave raising you those many years until you could care for yourself,...what goes around comes around, give back what you get and don't be a selfish self centered waste of a child to your parent/s.

remember this you too will someday be old, if you are lucky. if you shirk your duty to your parents as they age, your kids will learn from your example and when your time comes you will be so out of luck, alone and through no fault but your own.

I think papa25; a big part of the problem lies in our society itself. We've gone from three generations under one roof to individual homes. With both parents in many families forced to work, caring for kids, plus an elderly family member becomes too much of a load for many. The culture has changed from stay at home mothers to what we have now. Can't change it back. Of course, waiting to have kids 'til you can afford them would help, but how many do that now? Take two working parents, teens and toddlers with average problems add an elderly person that may or may not be easy to live with, stir, and get an explosive mix.

It is more common than you think or know or can imagine, ungrateful children who have no respect for the parent who raised them . . . . a friend of my wife raised her daughter by herself and made all of the sacrifaces for her daughter . . . now the daughter hasn't contacted her mother in several years. The wife and I say, its a blessing in disquise. That daughter would probably abuse her mother and our friend would be too grateful for the crumbs from the daughter's table to even know she was being abused . . . still . . . by a daughter that can not love anyone but herself.

What I admire most of Asian families is that they live three generations under one roof so as to take care of the children and the elderly.They don't ship their parents to a nursing home.In Southern California the Chinese who immigrated starting in the 1970's have built three story homes,each generation living on a separate level.I tried to get my family to do this 11 years ago as everybody is aging and they all said no to the idea.We'll see how they feel in another 10 years as three of us have no children and the one who does have kids on the east coast who can't stand it when their parents do visit.Americans are basically selfish and self serving when it comes to family matters.

I have noticed, taking care of my mom, how it is true about Asians. They really do respect the elderly, even the younger generations. I have taken note when we encounter Asians, how they cater to my mom, opening doors for her, etc. Very nice, plus you don't see many Asians in nursing homes at all.

I have also noticed, taking care of my mom, the behavior of others when they clip her heels because she does walk slow, almost mow her down with a baby stroller, don't hold a door open, even when they are too heavy for her to open them herself (I normally do this, anyway), and roll their eyes at her if she asks a clerk a question - even if it's silly. I find there are not as many people with enough patience or are always in a hurry, in this world. Shame.

Yes, the assisted living facilities are nice. My grandmother lived at one during the last few years of her life. Back then (2000-2001) it was somewhere in the neighborhood of $1,400.00 per month. Not bad for room, board and medical availability. I am guessing it is quite a bit more per month now.

My husband said he would rather die than go in a nursing home. I remember when my great grandmother was in a nursing home and people were begging for someone to stop and take some time for them. Nursing homes can be good places but too many families send relatives into a nursing home just so that they do not have to bother with them. A friend of ours gave up all hope when put into a nursing home. I do not understand why kids forget that their parents gave up all for them when they were young and cannot take a little time for their elderly parents (other than when they want a free babysitter). Family should take care of each other we were there for my mother, my grandmothers and my stepfather at the end of their lives, my great grandmother was the only family member ever in a nursing home and that was after she turned 100 my aunt put her in the home. It is sad that people will mistreat their relatives.

. My mother is in assisted living now and it is 3,000 a month - and up. It's very nice though, and they take good care of them - (the housekeeping could be better).

My sister and I would visit our mother at least 2-3 times per week when she was in assisted living, which was a very nice place. But she would complain, play one daughter off another, and few things we did for her were right. Then one of her neighbors commented that they wished they had such nice daughters coming to see them and do things for them all the time. That got mom to thinking that maybe she was pretty lucky after all.

Lefty - the housekeeping could be better

No matter how high-end the facility, it seems the housekeeping could be better. I tried, but never could get the help to make a bed properly.

Celeste I wouldn't trust the government I get that bad I hop my bike cross the river and never come back.

Enneagram1,You refer to paid employees as the help?Maybe you should have made the bed yourself for your Mom instead of no doubt using your high and mighty tone with the nursing home employees.I own a cleaning service and my customers cringe when I call myself the cleaning lady.They refer to me and treat me as a family member.I make their beds like a hotel.I go the extra mile for them too.You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Cleaning Lady, I'm not trying to catch flies.

The 'staff' who changed the linens were taught how to put them on in a certain way called JACHO standards. If you don't like it, you might want to take it up with the joint commission, but no hospital or residency is going to change the way they do things to suit you at the chance of being fined by the JACHO commission.

www.jointcommission.org/standards_information/joint_commissi

www.jointcommission.org/

If she'd have asked, she'd already know this.

I totally agree about family taking care of family ~ sadly, there are seniors who have no one except a distant niece or nephew. The death camp reference earlier is the biggest bunch of bunk I have heard lately and, of course, is putting it on Obama. The ignorance continues.

Right, Mila. We can't be having calm, sensible discussions. But, trust the HateObama crowd to drag in their hate and fear and poison, to liven things up! We all can't wait til they arrive, with their hatred spewing act, They vomit everywhere, then go to some gardening blog, to help them get wildly off topic! A real public service group!

biged,It's not a hate Obama issue.It is a topic of theft of the Medicare fund.It was moved into a fund to pay for the ACA.That means your payroll contribution along with your employers is going towards the affordable care act and not the Medicare that you've been told that it was going for.That is called a scam in order to steal money.

The people who claim that Obamacare robs 700 billion Medicare to pay for it are being lied to by conservative media.

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2012/aug/15/mitt-romney/mitt-romney-said-barack-obama-first-history-rob-me/

Anyone who belives that Obamacare is going to kill old people and put them in camps are ignorant for believing Sarah Palin's death panels lies.

. . . along with her "sister" Michelle Bachman. Talk about hysteria

Kitty, obama took that money to start his glorified medical... This was just in the last two years.. You need to check these things out.. LBJ took the S/S and placed it in the General Fund during the 60's.. Its always a democrat that takes the Social Security.

Before everyone screams, just google it and you can find the truth.

Oh my God, Jean, you probably just caused a dozen heart attacks! If big ed doesn't answer back right away, somebody call 911!

@Jean, LBJ did not put social security into the general fund. You need to find a better source of information because your current source is lying to you.

Great son to have; I hope the state found him a nice comfy 5x8 cell in a locked facility for about 20 years so he can reflect on the quality of care his Mom received from him.

While I was in nursing school... I worked in a nursing home and in an assisted living facility. I couldn't take the nursing home any longer...got very tired of crying for an hour before work every day. They never had more than 3 aides assigned to provide total care for 60 residents per shift... Bathing, feeding, toileting, dressing, bed making...you name it... There was no time to treat anyone like a human being... I saw aides who allowed patients to lie in their own waste...because they couldn't be bothered until it was that person's "turn" to be cared for. Families never visited.. no one cared... It was truly death's waiting room. I blame families who couldn't be bothered to make sure their elders were well taken care of... but I also blame the nursing home for inadequate staffing for the sake of their profit margins... And, trust me... the man who owned the place drove a new Mercedes...

The assisted living center was better...but not by much. The thing that made it better was the requirement that residents be capable of doing some things for themselves. We were still grossly understaffed... and i know for a fact that the kitchen manager was only given a budget that allotted only $2.00 per day per resident for food. In the monthly billing, they charged $10.00 per person per meal.

Such a sham...and trust me... elder care is a huge cash cow...

We take care of my mom. We split the rent, utilities and costs for food. The rest is hers to spend as she wants, plus she has Medicare to pay her medical expenses. That's the way it should be. My mom earned her SSI and pension, so it is hers, not ours.

I'd rather they face a special place in JAIL in the here and now!

I couldn't agree more with you Jay Ell

There'll be a special place in the hospital for anyone who thinks they're going to abuse this old man!

Unfortunately, the laws and sentencing guidelines are woefully inadequate when it comes to elder abuse. In MN, there was a case about a year ago where the mom was in terrible shape and the son took her $$ for his own purpose. Due to the laws on the books, he received less than a year sentence and probation. Pretty pathetic.

Jerry Brown: California's Obama rep, in spades.

Freedom, Is California going to Bankrupt? I keep hearing that and wondered.

California has balanced it's budget and is operating in the black.

Only if it's Spongbob Squarepants Opposite day...

Ok, the HateObama crowd is here, loud and strong. Now, the gun-loonies finally show up. We may never get back on topic now!

OBTW, all you HateObama spewers, a hundred years ago, you would still be working at 80! Until SS and Medicare came along (passed by the Dems) the average person worked til the day before he died, then he died! And, if you could afford to retire, you likely couldn't afford proper medicine in your older years! If you are retired, and get decent health care, THANK A BUNCH OF DEMOCRATS, cause Republicans didn't give a hoot about you (or me)!

norm-3039177, #13- Lucky number 13! You go GUY!!! 80????? and SO SPRITE???? CONGRATULATIONS (and hope for many more to you!!!), you Lucky Duck!!!

I'm not being a wiseguy to you. I really do love knowing and appreciate so much that there are "Elders" in the World.

Hell, 65 comes a lot faster than 21!

Everyone has a conscience, Popeye_Kahn. They will get theirs in the hell that they deserve for their evil deeds upon the elderly population of the world.

Usually it's about snagging as much of the estate as possible and then finding a way to dump the old fart.

This how our children are repaying us.

Sick.

Sir, if you would change your screen name to ALL Parties Are Corrupt, then I might like your words a bit more.

And do you know why? It's becauuse they have enough money to get the best care. Our elected officials do not do give a damn about us at the lowest levels because we don't make a turd stain on the carpet. They are set. Most of our elected officials are already well monied even before they step into office, then it's all gravy after that. The thing about how many bullets go in a box or in a magazine is just the most current thing to talk about. It makes them look like they are actually doing something. It's called busy work. F them. My weapin is unregistered and will remain that way. As long as I can get ammunition for it, I am set. F all these butt holes.

This is a subject that I hate to think about, but it is staring me in the face, quickly. I many times look back when my wonderful mother was unable to care for herself, and my brother and I placed her in an assisted living facility. she fell in the shower and broke her hip. I selfishly became too involved in my own life, and regretably didn't spend enough time with her. I tried to spend more time when she was put in a nursing home, and I did the best I could. I wish now that I had tried to keep her at home and find someone to help until it became absolutely necessary to put her in the home. There is a lot to be said for all the above comments. I especially like Bob S.-860549's comments. He has some very valid points. We defintely have to take care of each other, because it's obvious the greedy elected officials probably won't. I definitely believe in "What goes around comes around".

What the heck are you on? We need to help the illegals and welfare recipients and not spend tax dollars on our parents and grand parents that paid taxes and worked for this country. Are you an illegal, more than a little drunk or high? We need to make our elderly a priority over illegals.

I'm an AMERICAN POLITICIAN and proud of it, VOTE for me, OH wait, you already did, I won the election. Thank you, your taxes will be going up this year. Mamacita needs to take Jose to the doctors this week, you need to pay the bill for them.

OH and yes I am " high " you are not allowed to be either, but I am allowed. Plus I carry a gun for protection for me and my family. You are not allowed to, you can get arrested.

OH my God, I just on TV the people in Africa. I need to remind my secretary to see if we can send the African government $50,000,000 so they can feed their people.

@xsvenom

Sorry to tell you, but sarcasm isn't understood too well around here!

Actually, it was aliens, many of them "illegals" who helped build the country, and keep it going today. Too many of those old enough to know better seem to be blaming who we are on somebody else. Who keeps electing the politicians so many of you seem to blame? YOU DO! You voted for them. Did you vote just for those who you researched, and whose policies you approved of, or did you go for the guy (or woman) that told you what you wanted to hear, and played on your fears and prejudices? I thought so!

Now, can we get back on topic?

My mom fully expected to die at home, unfortunately she couldn't maintain enough strength to walk without falling (even with a walker). Add to it that dementia was setting in and she couldn't even remember how often she fell. Well we placed her in assisted living and within 2 months she again fell and broke her hip. Needless to say the facility then said that her level of care required exceeded "assisted" living standards and that nursing homes would not take her in without $$$ ($300/day). Heck she even got kicked out of medicare sponsered hospitalization and rehab because she exceeded the 100 day care limitations. She now lives at my sisters home under her care.

Actually, this story is about elder abuse by the family, not nursing homes. Did you read it or are you basing your conclusion of what this story is about from the comments alone?

Something you all have to think about... This could be a ploy to start herding the elderly into camps,

and Government run institutions... That would be hell on earth... Be prepared. The Gov. wants our

Social Security.

Jean...

You may be right. My neighbor (vietnam era vet) with injuries sees obamacare being like VA care, push the pills and hold off as long as possable on other care. He has been waiting nearly a year just to have accupuncture treatments started for a combat related back injury.

The Republicans want to take away your Social Security and Medicare in order to give tax cuts to corporations and the rich.

Kitty-1341278

You are right on the one. We should be ashamed of the way we treat our seniors in America (this is a national crisis). Like you I have witness the abuse up close and personal at Patuxent River Rehab in Laurel, Md. with my brother Sgt. Earl K. Bell (Army vet and DC Policeman). The staff and the administrators are so unprofessional and could careless about the residents. It is all about "The love of money!" The sad part of my brother's case, his children have abandon him. I have been left to carry on the fight to see that he is cared for properly (I am in over my head). The state officials are also are a part of the problem (see my link to my website) and not a part of the solution (politicians, ombusman, the Department for the elderly, etc).

To show how unprofessional these people are my last visit to Patuent River Rehab I was approached by my brother's Unit Manager. His name is Oloue, he had the nerve to ask me "Are you responsible for the blog written on the internet?" My response was 'Yes!'

He said, "You better get ready they are coming after you." This all was said in the presence of a family friend, Clayton Roberts. They are so busy trying to find away to shut me up instead of trying to find away to solve my brother's health problems.

Another News Alert, the lawyers who suppose to be advocates for the abuse senior citizens in these facilities are also a part of the problem. Patuxent River Rehab has left a paper trail of abuse that Ray Charles could follow. I have dates, times and names of the perpetrators. But all I am getting is "Lip Service & Silence" from our public servants who being paid to help but in the final analysis it looks like they are being "Paid Off!" One lawyer told a friend, "I really admire Harold and the courageous stand he has taken on his brother's behalf." How much COURAGE does one need to stand up for his brother or someone he loves? The problem is that our community is overrun with cowards, therefore, we have no clue to what real courage is! I have been there and done that. Thanks, Kitty.

Jean, they are not going to start "herding" our seniors into institutions. Elder abuse happens everyday in this country and its usually the loving family that does it. The problem isn't the government, it isn't democrat versus republican, it's a human problem that we need to fix. These are our elders, they deserve better.