The parents need to respect her wishes and be there for her. They should not be forcing her to fight with them in court and deal with the added stress of being at odds with them. There is no doubt that she is going to die, and fairly soon. She is completely competent and has made the decision that she does not want to continue to live in the condition she is in. I am sure that the thoughts of what is to come before the tumor finally kills her has a lot to do with her making this decision. The parents need to understand that she does not want to go through the suffering that is to come if she is kept alive by machines.

I can not stand these hypocritical religious types who always think they know what is best for everyone. This whole argument about god's will is a bunch of crap. f they really believe that god is so all powerful, then isn't the daughter making this decision also part of god's will?!?! How is keeping someone alive by using a machine to breath for them and a tube to feed them gods will, but someone turning off the machine not?!?! These religious nuts find a way to spin whatever they want to happen as being god's will. If someone chooses to do something they like then that is god's will but if they choose to do something they do not like then they are interfering with god's will. The video they put together is so obviously edited that it is no wonder the judge refused to accept it as having any value. Wasn't it god's will for the judges to see through this lame attempt and find in favor of their daughter's right to make her own decision!!! The only thing these parents are doing is making their daughter's last few days even more miserable and upsetting. The parents need to stop their nonsense, be there for their daughter, and allow her to die in peace on her own terms.

It seems to me that being artificially kept alive is more against God's will than succumbing to a natural death.

She's 28???? How do the parents have ANY say?

She's 28???? How do the parents have ANY say?

Because of the nature of her illness, her parents probably have power of attorney over her.

I can understand her parents' grief. To lose a child, even an adult child, is a difficult burden to ask a parent to bear. They are being selfish to want to keep her here with them, but it is out of love that they feel so.

At 28, and mentally competent, the woman is an adult and can make her own choices.

since the beginning of human history, it's been no big deal to die if you want.... until fundamentalist religious practice started getting so involved in governments and medical care got so advanced...

the last 50 years.... so many have suffered so much as other people force their religious view..... we should all have the right to die whenever we wish... there shouldn't be court action over it and we shouldn't have to qualify....

There are too many people in this country that want to deny others the right to decide what their life will be and when it will end. Remember this story when you vote. This could be you denied the right to die by some religious nuts!

chris-1116365

Beginning to understand the BS position that same group has regarding abortion?

Me-824303

And your proof that such a almighty being exists is where?

Anthony California

Hospitals and insurance companies might agree - after all, they are the one's profiting from this and other scenarios.

journal journal

2 words - "Terry Schivo"

Allen-2635884

Agree, agree, and agree - amen!!

Steve Herbert

"activist judges" get in the way. They don't care about the actual individual - just the cause. Terry Schivo scared many republicans because if she got her wish, or the wish of her husband - that open the door wide open for euthanasia - and with euthanasia - abortion is also redefined.

Republicans in the name of religion - fight tooth and nail to make abortion illegal - so that others can breed to fight their wars. If abortion was an unhindered right - republicans might think twice about starting wars their own kids would have to serve in.

oldhamletman

Suicide once was a respectable way to exit this realm. Many prefer to die with dignity, then prolonged, delayed, and miserable life extended.

Isn't the planet overcrowded as it is?

It's cases like this where I can understand why health insurance companies desire a "cap". Sadly now we all get to pay for the drastic non life-saving measures with insurance premiums. Which way do the majority want it - pay through the nose or make intelligent decisions.

If god and heaven is so rewarding - why are so many hesitant to answer the call?

chris111..... I love how people are so fast to ridicule religion, maybe just maybe her parents are not ready to let her go. I understand the parents say they worry she will go to hell but maybe thats just a cover up and they just cant let go!!

Another matter the media has thrown into "the court of public opinion."

If you ask me its none of yours or mines business. Its a personal family matter, but the media cannot respect that. Instead they'd rather sensationalize it to sell magazines, and get more views at their site.

We have a legal system that is designed to handle matters of this nature, and that legal system is not "lets take a public opinion poll and decide." There is a reason it doesn't work that way. I feel the media Jackals should respect these people's privacy.

Of course they aren't ready. Who is ready to let their child go? Their own fear of the loss is overriding their love for her...they are possessing her, not supporting and nurturing her. The problem is that they do what most religious people do: They use fear to try and coerce others to fall in step.

This poor woman is suffering and wants some peace; instead, what she gets is assurances from her parents that with death comes eternal suffering in hell. Nice! They claim that their god will not forgive her for seeking an end to her torture...and will reward her with more torture.

Best to her and her family. Hopefully they will all find some peace after suffering through this.

John Doe, did you MISS the word OPINION up at the top? This is an OPINION piece, it is not a NEWS piece. The family is the one who is making this a newsworthy item since they keep filing court case after court case - which are PUBLIC RECORDS, btw. They need to let their child who is COMPETENT allow the doctors to extubate her and remove her feeding tube and just let her GO. She is NOT going to get better, she is in her right mind and wants to terminate the treatment.

I am a Christian myself, and I agree wholeheartedly that this woman, who would die without constant medical intervention, and who is destined to die eventually even with it, should not be forced to stay alive because her parents imagine that this is a suicide and the work of Satan. One could argue that it is against the will of God to force someone to stay alive who has no chance for survival short of a miracle, and God certainly has not performed one of those for her now, has he? I am horrified that some Christians think that forcing people to suffer is the will of God or Christ. Sometimes, it is the will of God that people die so as to return to him. At least that is my opinion as a Christian myself.

The parents should be ashamed of themselves. If they believe in God, it is obviously God's wish that their daughter die. Doctors have intervened with God's wish by putting their daughter on life support. To take her off of life support would fulfill God's plan..... according to their professed beliefs!

To make their daughter suffer needlessly is SELFISH and SELF-CENTERED.

figment, hospitals may be profiting from these scenarios, but insurance companies surely aren't. They are paying for them.

God's will would have claimed her life a long time ago. It is society that has kept her alive with the use of machines. Let her go in peace to a place more beautiful then those trying to rule another life choices.

DrRiverSong, I don't exactly condemn them for what they are doing, but they are selfish, hateful, and nasty. Talking hell, wanting their child to suffer so horribly. Shame on them.

figment- You bringing up abortion, or for anyone else to for that matter are off topic. This is about a competent adult, with a terminal illness wanting to be taken off of artificial life support.

I am not a Republican, or a Democrat and I am not religious. I do however believe that humans are born with an innate sense of right and wrong. We all hear about abortion being a "choice" for a woman to make with regards to her own body. The problem is that an unborn child (or Fetus as is used to make it less of a child) is not 'part' of a persons body, but rather a complete new life that is being protected and nourished by the woman. What seems odd to me is that if you went to any Doctor and said that you decided you wanted to have one of your kidneys taken out and discarded...they could not do it. Yet...you get the point. A person does not have two hearts, livers, sets of lungs, etc. so the argument about it being a part of the woman is simply a false argument used to justify getting around an inconvenience.

Why is it a debate about who has power of attorney over this competent 28 year old woman, when you look at the others who have no say at all?

Closure is better than tubes and morphine!

Anyone who has- as did I for twenty years - cared for someone you love who is terminally ill and incapable of taking care of themselves; whose quality of life has devolved to the point where there is no point in prolonging the agony knows very well that what the parents in this case are doing is nothing more than selfish self-interest predicated upon what will make them happy.

Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be said to such as they; anymore than someone who is fanatical about any religious tenet they have adopted as being incontrovertibly, "obviously true" can be reasoned with. Such view all unbelievers, who can't see the obvious light they see, as being in the dark and by default wrong.

The power that created us - call it God, The Force - who cares - gave us free will and the ability to direct our lives as we see fit; this applies to our also being able to make a rational, logical decision as to when we make our final exit.

She is suffering from an incurable tumor boring into her brain stem. She’s paralyzed from the neck down, hooked up to a machine that breathes for her and is on a feeding tube. She’s fully conscious and cognitively alert, but has lost all control over her body and her basic bodily functions. She is suffering a slow, miserable death. Doctors determined that she was mentally competent. She requested that doctors take away the life support. And in her greatest time of need and comfort, her religious parents told her she would go straight to hell if she insisted on no more life-extending care. So as they continue to block her wishes, she continues to suffer a slow, miserable death.

This was just so freaking horrible to read. I hate thinking horrific things like this are happening to people everyday. I can't even imagine what it's like to be the one who is sick and dying, it's absolutely heartbreaking. There is no god. Why does a young woman with so much life, experiences, and joy to live not only have to die, but suffer a slow, miserable death? Why does their devastated families have to live on in agony? I hate your make-believe god for this suffering and death.

And man-made religion is horrible. Its bull@!$%# makes a mother and father force their own young daughter to continue suffering a slow, miserable death while telling her she would go straight to hell if she wanted to end her pain and misery, the greatest time in her life that she needs loving parents by her side comforting their daughter before dying and putting her to ease.

This woman, and any person, has the their own right to die if they wish. It is horrible other people are forcing someone else to do something against their very own will, including the will to die.

Newsflash for the parents of this terminally ill woman: we are all going to die.

To claim that they love her and then try to guilt her into enduring a slow, agonizingly painful death is not love. It is control, and it is torture.

The parents should be ashamed of themselves.

Why not let her go with compassion and in peace?

@RandomJ

" I hate your make-believe god for this suffering and death."

How can you hate something you do not believe in??? Just saying............

What has to be asked is whether the machines that are keeping her alive were made by God or man. In my opinion they were made by man and some could argue that the existence of them is violating God's will as well.

This is a good example of why people need Living Wills and Healthcare Proxies, so fanatical family members cannot do things against your will should you become terminally ill. This woman has the right to stop her suffering and go in peace.

Blessings upon her.

I am the healthcare proxy for my father who has a living will. I recently had to exercise the healthcare proxy (on Monday) when my father became ill with spinal bacterial meningitis. I was the one who had to make the decision that if they needed to heavily sedate him in order to get the lumbar puncture (spinal tap) and thus intubate him, the doctors were to go ahead, knowing that it might be days or a week before he could be extubated and knowing that he doesn't want to be kept alive on machines. I also had to try to explain that he could be "full coded" if his heart stopped but again, no HEROIC measures were to be taken.

There is a fine tightrope dance in situations like that (but not in the case of this opinion piece) about when the intubation is therapeutic or life-supporting. Luckily, my father did not need to be intubated to get the lumbar puncture and he started to become lucid the next day - and is going to be discharged tomorrow. But having the ability to let go - whether it's my father, my husband, my son or me - means respecting the wishes of the person involved. It also means knowing there is a difference between quality of life and quantity of life. I would not want my 6 year old son to be kept alive by machines if he could not breathe on his own. My grandfather died of congestive heart failure, but we knew that the operation that could give him more time with us would probably deepen his dementia and he wouldn't know who we were any more... and he wouldn't want to be that far in dementia only to give us a few more months to a year with him.

This is about respecting the person's FREE WILL. You know, that idea that "our creator" imbued us with the ability to make our own decisions and create our own path that is SO DEAR to most Christians? As a non-Christian (but raised with exposure to many different varieties of Protestantism, and who studied comparative religious theories) I think that what the parents in this piece are doing is against the tenets of most forms of Christianity and probably their own. Asking someone to endure months of agony so that THEY can selfishly have "more time" with her is CRUELTY.

My mother suffered with cancer for 10 yrs, she had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital. She told me she was in extreme pain so I asked the nurse if she could give her more morphine. The nurse said it was not a good idea because it could affect her respiration. I asked the nurse if my mother has any chance of recovering, she said no, so I asked her to give the morphine. My mother fell asleep and passed without pain 6 hours later. I was at ease knowing her suffering had ended.

Hello Chris, I couldn't have said it any better. Here is another case where the hypocrisy of religion rears its fanatical ugly head. As you so humanely and logically pointed out we wouldn't even let our pets suffer to this extent.

Doctor Kevorkian, God bless his soul was a great compassionate humanitarian!

Her father Man Ho Lee is the pastor of the Antioch Missionary Church in Flushing, N.Y. He and his wife, Jin Ah Lee, could not accept their daughter’s decision. They see what she is doing as a suicide, against God’s will and the work of Satan.

After reading this I just knew they were going to do something inhumane to their own daughter. Taking her to court when she is dying a horrible death.

What is wrong with these freaks? No compassion for their own child. Very sad.

Allen-come on now 2000 religions in America? Can you name 10?

I DO believe in God, and DO believe suicide is the ONE sin that He cannot forgive.

However, I also believe that, while modern medicine is a good thing, many times, it goes against God's wish (Book of Days). While we do not have the right to TAKE a life (commonly accepted thought), do we have the right to KEEP a life?

In this particular case, I do not think this would be classified as suicide. Since it is accepted that she is a terminal patient, I believe that since the point of being put on life support, she has been held by man's will, not God's.

I pray for Grace and her parents to find peace.

I don't know where the overeducated moron PhD author of this article dug up his idea of Evangelical Christians, but Evangelicals DO NOT replace hospitalization with prayer. US Evangelical Christians are one of the largest non-profit groups that create hospitals where they are needed in the US and spend millions creating and funding them in Africa, Asia and South America in places that have desparate need. Evangelical Christians in other countries do the same in their own countries and in the third world. Evangelicals are not alone in this, Jews and Roman Catholics also do the same. For over two centuries in the US, Evangelicals have created huge numbers of colleges and universities still in operation and almost all of them liberal arts and sciences institutions with the minority being the Bible schools or seminaries they have also created. They have created huge numbers of hospitals, schools for doctors and and other medical care professionals and other institutions, most of which were and still are non-profit. The reality is that Evangelical Protestant Christians, Roman Catholics and Jews are responsible for a vast amount of the higher education opportunities for the young and higher care for the sick with almost all of it done for the sake of making it a reality and not aggrandizing their names. This is why the US public has no realization of just how much they have done. The ignorant author of this article should be seriously ashamed for hurling stereotyped insults at a group that has never behaved in the way he claims and represents the antithisis for rejecting medical treatment. Even the parents of the girl, in their highly misguided attempt to artificially prolong life, are insisting that hospitalization and medical treatment continue and have not substituted prayer for it. There is forgiveness for this insult. What goes with that is repentance for having done it.

@99Octane - there is no law that requires anyone, including you, to be "rational." Just who defines what rational is anyway? You? What or who gave you the almighty and absolute authority to define that? The real issue here is whether her parents have any standing to change the decision the young woman (she is an adult) made for herself. They are well meaning but highly misguided by their perception of reality. They are not irrational and are making a perfectly rational attempt (which I believe is very misguided) to interfere with removing her from life support based on their perception of reality (which I also don't share). The real issue is whether this young woman had and still has the right to decide all this for herself.

Jim

I hate to introduce truth into your skewed view, but some evangelicals do advocate prayer over medical treatment. Every so often they make the news for praying a child to death instead of seeking medical treatment. Remember everyone who is an evangelical does not share all of your beliefs. The most you can say is that they are all Christians. It is a fairly broad movement after all.

Perhaps you should spend less time tossing about insults and more time learning about the different flavors of evangelicalism.

If they truly love her they would let her go peacefully.I wouldn't wish this suffering on any of my family members.The courts should respect her wishes.

Charle7834

She's 28???? How do the parents have ANY say?

Because of the nature of her illness, her parents probably have power of attorney over her.

I can understand her parents' grief. To lose a child, even an adult child, is a difficult burden to ask a parent to bear. They are being selfish to want to keep her here with them, but it is out of love that they feel so.

-------------------

I agree exactly with your conclusion except i think it's not only selfishness but also blinding love. They're love for their daughter is so great that it has blinded them to make competent decisions and it is the parents who are thinking irrational cause they're unable to see the circumstances as hopeless and are hoping for a miracle.

This is abominable. I don't believe the people on her defending these parents for the "love" of their daughter. Yes, they love their daughter SO much that they'd be willing to force her to spend the rest of her days in misery. And, if that weren't enough, they're going to try to take her to court so she can end her life in resentment and humiliation too! SELFISH. There is no love there--none. Any parent who loves their child would no doubt be devastated and heartbroken to see them go--but to force them to live out their days in bitterness and pain? That is not love. That is the fear that senseless and ungrounded religion doctrine instills in you--nothing more. Get it? Fear. Not love. Nothing more.

Do you know what it's like to die from a brain tumor? UNSPEAKABLE PAIN AND MISERY. I watched the documentary "Dying in Oregon" (superb, but INTENSE--I highly recommend it--just don't watch alone). In the movie, they followed a woman from Washington who was trying to get the Death with Dignity act on the ballot--her husband died from a brain tumor. He got to the point this woman did, and beyond--unspeakable pain. Imagine a constant, searing, throbbing, stabbing headache with no relief except a drug coma. To make matters worse, the location of his tumor made it so that as the tumor grew, it forced his eyes out of his sockets. By the time he died, he couldn't even blink. He was begging for death by the end.

This is an example of why religion makes a terrible foundation for ethics or morality. When you insist on absolute obedience to arbitrary rules regardless of the circumstances or results, then you inevitably create needless suffering. The family is prolonging their daughter's suffering for no purpose. No good will come of it, but they insist that she must suffer because their god demands it (and presumably they also believe she deserves it or else their god would not have afflicted her in the first place).

Prohibitions on suicide are meant to prevent people from throwing away their future and their potential over temporary or resolvable problems. Sadly, this poor girl has no future. Her disease is incurable. And if she finds living on life support in misery with no control over her body to be worse than the alternative, then that should be her decision alone. Whether you agree with the right to die or not, she clearly has a legal and moral right to refuse treatment.

It all boils down to quality of life. What will their quality of life be in 2 days...1 week...1 month...1 year? Will they still be tied to a bed and machine a year from now? Will they possibly be up and around? This is what I asked my siblings when my mother had her 12th stroke and the doctors wanted to remove her from life support and some of my sibling didn't. She wanted to be taken off life support. (She passed peacefully 12 hours later off life support)

I despise and hate my 2 fundamentalist christian siblings and they feel the same way about me. Does it bother me? no. Was my mother happier? yes.

(A side note...my brother had to spend a week in the same hospital after I broke his jaw for telling me mom is now in hell and cavorting with the devil. Now, I'm Wicca and I don't believe in the devil or hell. But he does and he deserved a sock in the jaw!)

No Charle, as the article specifically says her parents do NOT have power of attorney over her...they are trying to get that.

lol and yet John Doe... you are reading this article...commenting on it and stating your personal opinion. I love hypocrites who don't see their own hypocrosy.

I can only hope that this family can stop all the legal wrangling and let their child end her suffering. I hope that if I am ever in that situation that someone will have the courage and compassion to let me go and I hope that I would have the intestinal fortitude and the clarity of mind to let a loved one go who's suffering can only end when life does. When I have finally grown weary of life and it is nothing but pain I will seek the comfort of oblivion.

Agree and maybe they should stop and think about how they and the hospital are actually interfering with what God wants!!

There is no "God"; never was, never will be.

All this nonsense is in the minds of humans only, not the realm of reality. Those of you who insist there is such an entity, who are YOU to appoint yourself its mouthpiece?? Every supposed god throughout human history did a piss-poor job of making its wishes clear - including (if not especially) the alleged Jesus and his invisible Father (and even more mysterious "Holy Ghost"...OOoooooo! oggie boogie!!) Religion is cancer of the mind and as contageous and dangerous as the actual tumor this poor woman suffers from; it just takes longer and usually tries to spread its misery to others.

Let the poor 28 year old woman die if she wants to; she can not be saved, she can only be made to suffer longer. Read the article for these little tidbits called "facts" people, before commenting. Unbelievable how utterly lost in this god delusion so many people are (with apologies to Richard Dawkins).

I understand her parents' wishes to keep her alive for purely selfish reasons, but be honest about it - they ARE trying to trump their daughters' wishes with their own. Power of Attorney or not, it's disgraceful. As much as I loved my dog, I knew he was suffering and would have no quality of life ... so I let him go, despite me wanting him around. Love means putting the needs of someone else ahead of yours. Even if that need is to die. And yeah, it IS the same thing. Love isn't limited to primates. Just religion.

Let the poor woman die in peace.

Yep, and the media refuses to let her do it. They'd rather make it a politically charged issue to make $$$$ off of. The real enemy here is the media sensationalist.

The real enemy is not the media, the real enemy is religious doctrine being allowed to interfere with nature and a person's free will to follow it.

I do not understand why religious thinking is given some special rank and protection compared to any other form of reasoning. It's like saying, "yeah, sure it's irrational, but that's ok because it's their religious belief."

I say, so frigging what?...that's no excuse for it being irrational.

We've got to stop giving such destructive magical thinking a pass.

99octane, I agree with you 100%. You said nothing wrong. The saddest part of this whole story is that if this was 100 years ago, there would be no life support and she would be kept minimally comfortable until her death. Now at least she can get pain control and be allowed to die in peace.

99octane, time and place, dude. Time and place. I don't believe in gods, but I can see that this is NOT the right time or place for an anti-religious belief rant.

But I agree with you that the parents should stop thinking of themselves and their own pain, and think of their daughter and her needs.

There is no "God"; never was, never will be.

Maybe your approach was less than eloquent. Then again, the rest of your post goes against the core beliefs of many mindless sheep. So, it's no surprise that they didn't like what you had to say.

Nonetheless and disregarding the aforementioned, it's rather pathetic for you to be so surprised that your post was collapsed. This is NewsVine after all.

@John Doe

I know if it was me in that hospital bed I would want the media involved if my family tried to go against my wishes. Until there is a law that firmly puts the patients wishes ahead of the families wishes, it will be an issue.

I worked in hospitals for years and am very well aware that patients who were documented DNR"S (Do NOT Resuscitate) were coded at the demands of the family.

@EdandBunny -

You are spot on. I, too, have been a hospital worker for over 35 years. Until the laws protect medical providers from liability for carrying out their patients wish to die with dignity, this will sadly continue to happen. It continues to be about the survivors, and not about the person who is dying.

As hard as it is to lose a loved one, you can make leaving this life easier by supporting their wishes. Nobody wants to die – but when your quality of life is over, and you have accepted that and made peace with it – how degrading it is to have family members who refuse to accept what you have accepted, and then fight you, the hospital, and courts to get what they want. Who benefits? No one, The results will be the same - your loved one will still die. You have changed nothing in the battle to stop it.

The situation is made far worse because now, not only will you die (that hasn't changed), you will not be able to do so peacefully. People must remember, it is not about them, but the loved one who is dying. Let them go – it is THEIR choice. Celebrate their life, support them and make your lasts days together, loving and peaceful. You have to, because in the end, your own day will come. Think about how you want to spend your last days?

Chris1407

99octane, time and place, dude. Time and place. I don't believe in gods, but I can see that this is NOT the right time or place for an anti-religious belief rant.

I dunoo Chris, there is no god and I don't think there is a "good time" to point that out to true-believers. Perhaps Christmas isn't the time to tell your kid that Santa is pretend but it's also the time when we think about Santa Clause and is an opportunity to break the news to the naive children!

Destroying someone's fantastical make-believe fantasy can be disconcerting but it's much better than continuing to live in an alternate reality.

@99Octane - there is no law that requires anyone, including you, to be "rational." Just who defines what rational is anyway? You? What or who gave you the almighty and absolute authority to define that? The real issue here is whether her parents have any standing to change the decision the young woman (she is an adult) made for herself. They are well meaning but highly misguided by their perception of reality. They are not irrational and are making a perfectly rational attempt (which I believe is very misguided) to interfere with removing her from life support based on their perception of reality (which I also don't share). The real issue is whether this young woman had and still has the right to decide all this for herself.

The woman has the right to take drugs. She has the right to an abortion. She has the right to have her ears pierced. She has the right to unprotected sex. She has the right to get into the car with a drunk driver. She has the right to commit suicide. Yet in this case, even though found competent and with the consent of two courts, her parents have taken away her right to die in peace.

It is unnatural for a parent to bury their children. But loving, supportive parents would want what is best for their child, not for themselves. Let this woman die in peace, not enmeshed in legal battles. Have they considered that she's in hell now, and death will bring relief to everyone?

Lisa...nicely said. There is no need for the self centered anti religious sniping going on here. This is about the young woman and her family. Its sad the media are even involved...so many will use it to their own ends...

Dr, have you wondered who put it out there for the media?

There is nothing wrong with this rather difficult problem of a terminally ill adult wish to die in peace and with dignity versus parents who are unwilling to accept their adult daughter's decision regarding how she would like to live her life or the end there of, being presented in the media.

These issues need to be openly discussed by all as we never know when we might be in the parents' position or the daughter's position imo.

This situation is far more common in the USA than one would imagine, especially when young children with illnesses that are terminal are involved and where parents must make the decision regaring continuing sometimes very painful treatments or when to stop these treatments/lifesupport etc.

At least this young woman was a legal adult and could make the decison for herself, while children under 18 seem to have no say whatsoever, which is sad really.

The other sad part of this case is where the parents are threatening their child,- preying on her faith/religious beliefs -, with going to hell if she should have her life support discontinued. Is this what these parents call loving their child? Where is their faith, where is their compassion and care, their understanding and their unconditional love for their daughter by carrying out her wishes.

Where is their respect for their adult child? Let's say she is moved to a nursing home what happens then? It is not as if they are young, so what if she were to 'outlive' - if you can call that living- them due to being on life support? What then? Who is there to look out for their child if they are gone? Who is to protect her then? Do they think that their child could not be taken advantage of sexually in these settings. That sort of thing actually happens sometimes, and is not some fiction made up for the movies either.

How do they know that it is not God's will that life support is turned off leaving the young woman to then takes her chances.... It could be that she may just breathe on her own and continue to live for a long time, which may then be the way it should be, and then again she may simply stop breating which may then be the way it should be.

It is one thing if they did not already know her wishes and instead had to make whatever discion for their daughter without her imput at all, that is the most difficult thing to do especially when the person is on lifesupport. It may even be easier to deside whether to put the person on life support or not, than to take the person off life support once it is already started imo.

Anyway, it is very very very hard and painful to let go of someone you love, especially when what is going to be done will/may result in the death of the person even if the person is really not alive anymore ie no longer have any brain function.

I have already told my family what I would want to happen in the case of a terminal illness etc, and my wishes regarding life support measures/resusitation etc.

Peace....

Ps ... in the Shrivo case, did the doctors caring for her know that her brain had shrunk to the size of a walnut before life support was turned off? If not, why not?

I am a Christian but I have to agree that it is probably the parents grief that is dictating their response as to turning off life support. It is incredibly hard to lose a child - of any age. I know for I have a 19 yr. old son who died from MRSA related necrotizing pneumonia. He was on life support and there was little to no hope of his survival as his organs were shutting down. Yet I was asked if they should try to resuscitate if and when his heart stopped. For a short while, I didn't want to hear that question, much less decide how to answer. But knowing that he already had some brain damage and his arms and legs were gone to gangrene....I had to say no. Out of love for my child. The hardest thing I have ever been asked to do. To my surprise, the Dr. agreed with me, telling me that he would have suffered even more as they pounded on his chest and there was no real chance of him ever getting better. My heart is broken beyond repair, I believe; but at least my son was surrounded by ppl who loved him and were with him until he left this world. I cannot judge these parents for wanting to hold on to their child, but stopping life support is not suicide if there is really no hope of survival beyond it. I do not agree with suicide - have known many suicidal ppl but there is a difference in taking your own life and choosing to refuse treatment that just extends life - in pain, when in the end is still death. I held my mothers hand as she lay dying for 5 days and she was only on pain meds as she had a DNR in effect...and as hard as that was - I went home to find my son in a coma and dying - altho on a lot of machines. Am I glad that he was intubated without his permission (or mine as I was with my mom)? Yes, if only for the fact that he was given a chance to possible survive and I was able to be with him and talk to him, stroke his face and tell him how much he was loved. But when all these doctors had no more hope, who am I to make him suffer more? It is a horrible thing to watch your child die but truly, in the past ppl did not have to decide things like this...If God's will is for this young woman to live, she will but she should not be forced to accept treatment. (and as a side thought...there is no real scripture that says suicides go to hell...altho I wouldn't want to take that chance myself but again, this is not choosing to die so much as accepting the inevitable). My heart hurts for this family but I hope the parents pray hard about continuing treatment that is just prolonging their daughters suffering. May she be surrounded by peace and love as she exits this world and goes into the presence of her loving God. No more sorrow, no more pain for her. And may God be with these parents, facing one of the worst things in life - having to say an early good bye to their child...

My condolences, dear lady. No parent should have to outlive their children but a parent owes it to them to let them go when the time comes. Hold fast to the knowledge that you had the chance to be there when it happened and that he suffers no longer.

Good point, like the religious ones who talk about god's will but get fertility treatments when they can't conceive.

Yes, this is right. In a 120-30 years everybody on this planet today, will be dead. Death is the last stage of our life. This woman is not choosing to kill herself, she is deciding to be removed from life support. I believe there is a difference, all be it, a small one. Hopefully her family will come to their senses and support her, but if they believe her actions will result in a non-stop ticket to hell, maybe they won't. I do believe there are fates worse than death.

Even outright suicide is no crime against God or Nature. That such nonsense was ever inserted into the public conscience is a crime. That people would allow their own children to be tortured against their will because of this concept is a crime.

Ryanwill37

How is life support fundamentally interfering with "God" any more than looking both ways before crossing the street? One could just as easily say that God is making her decide to die sooner rather than later. In fact one can imagine God doing anything or nothing and it's just as valid as any religious position that ever existed since no notion of God has any reasonable basis, it's all made up by some one pretending to have exclusive access to the mind of God.

Fuel-- I think you are a little confused by what Ryanwill37 wrote. You're arguing on the same side as Ryanwill37.

Ryanwill37 wrote:

How do they not realize that by using life support they are already interfering with god.

Charle,

Yes I'm making same point almost...just taking it a step further.

"God helps those who help themselves" He gave us brains for a reason. We use them and find ways to make life better. Staying stuck on life support with 0 chance of improvement is not making life better.

It's God

Yes, God decided to visit unimaginable suffering on this woman, who is most likely a religious Christian. But see, it's all part of God's plan! How merciful and loving he is!

Totally agree. As much as we do not want to see our children go before we do, if this girl did not have the feeding tube or life support, cognitive of what is going on around her or not, she would unfortunately die. That is the will of God. To prolong that just makes the daughter's pain and suffering last longer. Accept her wishes and let her go. It isn't suicide, it is letting nature take its course.

Hell is what her parents are imposing on her.

Here's the part that has always baffled me about religious people: they spend their lives touting the greatness of the afterlife, yet do everything in their power to not go there. Sounds to me like they're not buying their own act.

homesick yank ---

Do you think that atheists in the same position as these parents, with a terminally ill adult child who can only survive by the grace of machines breathing for her, would say "it's not the will of science that you die"? Or do you believe that atheists have so little regard for human life because they don't believe in a Supreme Being would not care if their child lived or died?

Whether you believe in an all-powerful God that dictates Destiny/Fate or whether you believe only in what you can see and touch and prove with math and repeatable experiments, it is difficult to accept that someone you love very much has consciously decided to die.

Human beings are naturally tribalistic. Religion is just one of many banners under which people unite to vent their violent, animalistic tendencies. There have been plenty of secular empires that have killed countless innocents and inflicted unimaginable suffering on them. Religion is not the fundamental problem; human nature is.

What gets me is that they actually *told* her that she would go straight to Hell. How could anyone say that to a loved one? Unbelievable.

Liberal College Girl....perhaps you should finish your studies before making such an ignorant and incorrect statement. Organized religion originally had the sole purpose of uniting people, to protect themselves from themselves, to give them a code of behaviour to protect society. Certainly not to "unite to vent their violent, animalistic tendencies" That is not to say that the institution has not been corrupted, to be used for the empowerment of the few over the many. Humans are flawed therefore human institutions are flawed.

No one can really say who goes to hell or not except God Himself. I wish they would just pray with her, letting her make her decision base on her faith and beliefs and then let her go to the One who created her...So much pain for all involved...

But if I had an illness too expensive to treat, I would kill myself, rather than ruin my parents financially, and deprive my siblings of any inheritance. My parents would insist on paying for any treatment, regardless of how catestrophic it was to their retirement. It would be hideously selfish for me not to end my life.

That is ridiculous. Most people who put down their animal do it to end the animal's suffering. It is an incredible act of love to put the animal's needs ahead of the owner's. I have seen some wait too long because they themself were not ready, and that was selfish. I also know of those who had to make the painful decision who were heartbroken despite knowing they did the right thing. Who are you to say that people put down animals for the wrong reason most of the time? That is a very cruel interpretation.

I have had animals who I have had to euthanize for a variety of health issues. I did my best to always "listen" to what they were saying by their actions. The German Shepherd I grew up with was blind, incontinent (so we kept her downstairs where there was no carpeting) and deaf. It wasn't until she was 11 and in PAIN that we finally let her go. I had a 3 year old cat in my 20's who became so neurotic she refused to eat unless you brought the food to where she was in an entertainment center and rarely left it even to "use the litter box". She was not exercising to keep her muscles acting properly and it was obvious that she was in in pain that we could not understand. I had another cat who at 3 1/2 developed a problem with the connection between his urinary tract and his bladder. Even with a catheter, he was retaining urine and the vet said that even with a very expensive (we were making about $19,000/year COMBINED) surgery to widen the urinary tract, they gave him greater than an 80% chance that it would not fix the problem and he would die of renal failure. I lost 2 cats to cancers somewhere in the abdomen and one to cancer that crept down his throat. All three of those cats were older than 10 when I had to end their suffering and they subtly "told" me that it was time to go.

Yes, some people euthanize animals because of "inconvenience" or they take them to the animal shelter because they mistakenly assume that "someone will come and give him/her a good home" but THEY can't keep the animal because they are moving and their new landlord doesn't allow pets or the puppy grew bigger than they were expecting (I currently own a Mastiff who lives inside with us). Those people should not be allowed to own another animal if they do that because pets are not "convenience THINGS".

BUT - I would say that the majority of household pets are actually kept alive LONGER than they should be because of the same misguided, selfish "reasons" that these parents are using to keep their daughter alive. I have NEVER personally known a person who just decided one day to euthanize a pet and the vast majority of vets will REFUSE to euthanize a healthy animal because they ascribe to something similar to the Hippocratic Oath of "first, do no harm".

EXACTLY! The parents should let her Go!

When my mother died of a stroke in 97,she was in the emergency room,and the Doctor asked me if they wanted her to be rushed to another hospital to so that emergency brain surgery,could be performed, to relieve what they call a bleed stroke. I said will she be able to function,even if it's seminormally? He said no,she'll be a vegetable,it's just to relieve the pressure off her brain.

I said NO let her go, and she died the next morning.Eleven years before,my father also had lung cancer,never smoked, and took chemo thinking it would cure him, and he fought.This was in 1985,he went through chemo for 9 months.It really didn't work and the cancer hit his brain.Finally the doctor said I can't help him any longer,he said do you want to tell him the truth?I said No,because he told me that if he didn't get better, he'd commit suicide!The doctor then said,we'll tell him he's off the chemo,tell him it's because he's getting better,and when it comes towards the end,we'll make him comfortable.Two days before he died he said I'm dying aren't I, I welled up in tears and said yes.

He wound up in the hospital,and died 2 days later.

I do not regret saying and doing what I did,because both of them died peacefully,with grace and with dignity!

That's what these parents need to do for their daughter,and leave God and hell out of it.If anything this girl will be in heaven.she such a beautiful human being.

Your parents raised a good, sensitive person. Thanks for sharing.

In some states if your are diagnosed with brain cancers you could legally be found incompetent to make any decisions legal or medical. The government or justice system do really care about the individual, only law suits. So actually this young had people with power stand & protect her wishes.

What is wrong with death with dignity & personal choice.

A similar thing happened with my father. At age 82 he had had congestive heart failure and been on oxygen for a few years. Then he was diagnosed with lung cancer and was given about six months to live.

He called me up and said he was "going to hell in a hand basket," and wanted to know if I was happy. It took me a few minutes to realize that he was trying to prepare me. I told him I was happy, and that I loved him, and he said, "I love you too, daughter."

Soon he was in the hospital hooked up to tubes, and was miserable. I wrote him a letter saying that we all loved him and would miss him dearly, but that if he wanted to go, he could go. I overnighted it to the hospital and a nurse read it to him. He passed on the next day.

I know how heartbreaking it is to let go of a loved one, but you have to realize that their passing is about *them*, not about you. It's about how they feel and think, not about your feelings or beliefs.

Thanks for sharing you did the right thing for your dad!It is about them and not us and that's their time.Their cycle of life has been completed on this earth, and I truly believe they are in a better place!

Again Thanks!

God loves you so much that if you don't suffer enough in this life then he sends you directly to hell. That is what comes out of the rear end of the bull!

Can you imagine those being some of the last words that you heard from your parents before you died? How horrible.

I'm am very religious, and I love God, totally. In my religion there would not be any disagreement with this woman's decision to be taken off her life support.

I, too, am very religious and believe that this poor woman should be allowed to come off life support. It pains me that fanatics make the rest of us look bad.

Barlow and Kathy - Please support your statements by voting appropriately.

Allen - what an asinine thing to say. I feel sorry that you're such an a$$hole.

Allen is just here to spew venom on anyone he can. He talks about people wasting their lives but has nothing better to do that to criticize and malign others. What a waste.

Barlow, Kathy & et al: You folks keep bring in religion and you have no patience with religion. However, do your homework. Most Christian denominations, probably more than 95%, WOULD ALLOW taking her off of life support machines if there were no hope of recovery.

The parents' decision is perfectly logical if you're religious. Her immortal soul could be condemned to hell for eternity (by your loving and merciful god, who apparently enjoys nothing better than torturing people forever) if she takes herself off of life support. How can a finite period of suffering be worse than that?

If you're a Christian, you can't condemn these people. It's their religious faith. Their beliefs are no more ridiculous than yours.

I don't have to worry about it because I understand that religion in general and Christianity in particular are ridiculous.

I love how you quote a fictional character. Not.

You do know it is the courts that grant temporary injunctions in this case. Hospitals must follow court orders.

I can assure you that the hospital has great legal investment in handling this matter according to law. The hospital cannot be swayed by status and means. People are quick to blame medical providers for anything but a happy outcome as they need someone to be responsible for their sad situation. I see plenty of it.

In cases like this where the patient is getting relatively minimal care on a daily basis, there is very little income, and most likely some negotiation with the insurance company for lower than usual rates. So, let's not vilify her medical providers.

Well, this case is similar to the Terry Schiavo situation in that the parents are interfering in a decision that legally should belong to someone else. In the Schiavo case, the husband was the next-of-kin and the one with the legal right to make the decision (I thought that conservatives supported "traditional marriage."). In this case, the young woman retained her legal rights.

The Schiavo case also comes to mind because the parents on LI also introduced purported video "evidence" that contradicted established facts.

The thing is they don't think they ARE putting their own desires above hers. They apparently firmly believe they are saving her soul from eternal damnation. Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending them, I think they're completely wrong, but than I don't believe in organized religion either. It's EASY for me to see that they're wrong. And while I warily believe in God, I refuse to believe that God would insist that someone suffer in this way or be punished for their refusal to do so. But these people apparently do.

As a parent I can't understand, I would never allow my son to suffer for my own selfishness. No matter that I Would want to leave with him I would still let him go.......and as I type that my heart breaks.

I do agree. The Catholic Church does NOT require that a person be forced to stay on life support. If she chooses to get off life support, she will NOT go to hell because of her decision. The only thing required by the Church is food and water. She must be hydrated and fed which is really the honorable thing to do. I do wonder what protestant sect the parents belong to that requires people to remain on life support!

Actually, the Catholic Church does not insist on artificial feeding and hydration. John Paul II declined to be tube fed in his last days.

Exactly. Anyone who puts their faith before their children, i don't even know how to comprehend that. My children ARE my religion.

Faded couldn't have said it any better

The sad thing is I don't see them forgiving her. They have made a bad situation worse by their actions and are certain they are right. You would think at least one parent would have sense, but sadly, not in this case....

If only a majority of christians could grasp the concept you lay out so eloquently. But Religion to most- is- about Control. Its a primitive way for Man to believe that he controls his ultimate destiny. Heaven is a futile refuge for those who cannot accept the finality of our existence.

I'm pretty sure that the doctors that would remove her life support would see to it that she is not in pain. Watch the frontline documentary "Facing Death". It will open your eyes.

And may your parents find peace knowing that your suffering will end.