E-mail updates
Follow on Twitter
Subscribe to RSS
David Mcnew / Getty Images file
Television news crews gather in front of the home of Robert and Arlene Holmes, parents of James Eagan Holmes, 24, who is accused of killing 12 and injuring 58 people in a Colorado movie theater shooting.
As news crews swarmed outside the tile-roofed house of accused shooter James Eagan Holmes’ parents in an upscale suburb of San Diego, a stranger 1,300 miles away in Texas grieved for those inside.
“I’ve been worried about the family,” said Lois Robison, 78. “I know what it’s like to find out your son has killed several people.”
Last Friday, when Holmes allegedly opened fire in a movie theater in Aurora, Colo., his parents, Robert and Arlene Holmes, were instantly thrust into a club that no one wants to join: family members of notorious killers.
Like the parents of Tucson shooter Jared Loughner, Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh and Columbine High School killers Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, they’re quickly becoming pariahs, publicly reviled for raising a monster.
But a group organized on behalf of murder victims’ families urges compassion and understanding for the families of murderers, too.
They suffer in a different way than those who lose loved ones to violence, said Renny Cushing, founder and executive director of Murder Victims' Families for Human Rights, or MVFHR, which has organized support sessions for killers' families.
“I became really painfully aware of the ostracism that takes place,” said Cushing, whose father was murdered in 1988. “Immediately, there’s this thought that families must have done something to cause this, that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
That’s all too familiar to Robison, a retired third-grade teacher. Her son, Larry Keith Robison, was executed in 2000 in Texas for the grisly murders of five people, including an 11-year-old boy. He had been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia at age 21, three years before the 1982 murders.
Though it’s been nearly 30 years since the crime, Robison still clearly recalls the shock and horror of the early days -- and the reaction of some in the community of Burleson, Texas. Reporters surrounded her home; in ensuing months, some parents asked to have their children removed from her class.
No longer were they Ken and Lois Robison, the local schoolteachers.
“We became the parents of a mass murderer,” said Robison.
It’s a shift that happens quickly as a restless public searches for someone or something to blame for senseless acts of murder, said Cushing.
Indeed, Arlene Holmes, 58, a registered nurse, and Robert Holmes, 61, a scientist, are being publicly reviled. Some Internet commenters have called them “abusive” and suggested that they are responsible for their son's alleged acts.
Theater shooting suspect James Eagan Holmes appeared in court for the first time Monday where a judge explained why he was being held on no bond. NBC's Mike Taibbi reports.
“Where were YOU Mother why didn’t you take care of him,” read one NBCNews.com comment. “To me it sounds like a bad mother.”
Another expressed “pity” for the family -- but with a twist:
“I know that if it had been one of my sons who did this I would be absolutely shattered (not that it could ever be one of them as there must have been signs.)”
The Holmes family has expressed sorrow for the 12 people killed and 58 injured in the attacks, and, through their lawyer, asked for privacy as they grapple with the situation.
They indicated they would stand by their son through the ordeal.
“I think anyone can imagine how they’re feeling, anyone who’s ever been a parent,” said lawyer and family spokeswoman Lisa Damiani at a press conference Monday.
Ted S. Warren / AP
As many as 12 people were killed and 50 injured at a shooting at the Century 16 movie theatre in Aurora, Colo. early Friday during the showing of the latest Batman movie.
Families of murderers are grief-stricken after such a tragedy, but, unlike the families of the victims, they may feel they have no right to their feelings, said Bud Welch, whose 23-year-old daughter, Julie, was killed in the Oklahoma City bombings in 1995.
Welch met with Bill McVeigh, the father of Timothy McVeigh, who was executed for the crime.
“It’s really difficult for them, it really is,” said Welch, a member of MVFHR, which opposes the death penalty for murderers. “Bill McVeigh can never say anything publicly about anything Tim did that was nice.”
Instead, the family members of the killers struggle for the rest of their lives with shame and guilt over their loved one’s acts.
“I said, 'Bill, you have nothing to apologize for. You did not do it. You did not contribute to it,' " Welch recalled.
That message has provided some solace to other families of murderers. Welch met with the parents of Eric Harris, one of the two killers who led, and died in, the 1999 Columbine High School shootings.
Public sentiment vilified Wayne and Kathy Harris, Eric’s parents, and also Tom and Sue Klebold, the parents of Dylan Klebold, the other Columbine shooter.
“People were so angry. They said, ‘How were those boys raised?’” Welch said. “They weren’t raised any damn different than any of the kids in Littleton.”
Lois Robison said she and her husband, Ken, now 81, have found comfort and empowerment in speaking out about their son's crime, and about the need for adequate care for mental illness. They had great support from family members and those in the community who knew them, she added.
"When this happened, my husband said 'We can do one of two things,'" Lois Robison recalls. "We can crawl into a cave and pull a rock in there behind us. Or we can tell the truth and try to keep it from happening to someone else.'"
Bud Welch said he’s tempted now to reach out to victims of Aurora, both the families of those who were killed -- and the family of the alleged killer.
“These family members in Aurora, they’re going through so much grief. They need so much help,” he said. “The family of shooter? God only knows they’re going through hell, too.”
More on Vitals:
- Transplanted lungs didn't come from Colo. victims, despite reports
- Mass murderers often not mentally ill, but seeking revenge, experts say
- Colo. ER doc: 'Oh, my heart sank'
In the Colorado city where one of the worst mass shootings in American history took place, the massacre prompted many to seek firearms for self-defense. NBC's Mike Taibbi reports.
Leave a Comment:
The more I think about it, how dare anyone say something like this. How would you like to feel what they feeling right now? How would you feel if your child did something like this after you raised them lovingly and properly? Do you understand how hard it is for those parents to know they did bring something like this into the world unknowingly? This is an evil world, plain and simple and the more people that start following Jesus and the Golden Rule, the better!
Raising your child "lovingly and properly" means getting them help when you see they aren't behaving normally. I refuse to believe that these parents were completely blind sided by their son's behavior. You know when your child is acting strange. Maybe he/she's lying or sneaking around or something harmless like that, but 9 times out of 10, you know. It's EXTREMELY rare that mental illness suddenly springs up like a thunder storm. There are always signs, and the parents are typically the first to notice. If they knew something was off, and they did nothing, then yes, they should have to shoulder some of the blame. They could have had him hospitalized for 3 days. They could have had him treated in his teens when he most likely started showing signs of strange behavior. Do you believe the parents of the VT shooter are innocent as well? They 100% knew that their son had serious mental health problems, but they refused to get him any kind of help due to the negative stigma Asians give mental health assistance. They chose to completely ignore the problem and pretend their son was normal and that they raised him "lovingly and properly." Do you think that's the case? I think they should be jailed for murder.
It shows ignorance to blame the parents. This guy is an adult and has gone to live on his own. He is the only one responsible. I feel bad for these parents. The media needs to leave them alone and get away from their house.
COMPASSION
A moment of compassion,
whether physical or mental
whether futile or fruitful,
is not only a moment
but a lifetime.
Smalley c. 1970
Thank you Christian Bale for showing us your moment of compassion.
I'm so sick of the media and the way they handle things. The press no longer has any values. They never ask our politicians any difficult questions but repeatedly spew their lies across the airways; they hound people until some our prisoners in their own homes. What happened to "The Right to Privacy" like the jerk that posted a picture of MIchael Phelps smoking a joint. But it's not just their fault. Unfortunately we will never have a discussion about the real root of the problem here. We have become a society that revels in the negative and swoons around tragedy. What gets missed in this cesspool of news is that most people our decent and do good things every day. Of course you'll see very little of that in the news. You know, the mystical ratings.
I'm so sick of hearing this dribble. Actually, our society now is much more sympathetic than "the old days." In the 50's, blacks were lynched, women couldn't vote. In the 1800's we had slavery. Public hangings, stonings, on and on. Back to the gladiators. If anything we have become a politically correct and coddled society with grief counselors on speed dial.
I grew up in India and most of the movies revolve around violence (factionism is the term where the violence is for generations as in 2 enemies one kills the other, the murdered next to kin or imagine this the murdered young kid grows up to avenge the father and this murdering cycle continues to eternity). These storylines are idolized and draw wide audiences we don't see an increase in violence in India.
Stop with the video games and movies influence. Why don't you blame the narcotics available that can truly turn a person delusional? No where have I seen so many delusional teenagers than in the US. I have known friends in college in the US who were brilliant in academics but were so doped up or dependent on drugs that made them delusional. I had this one friend who when we were having pool parties would constantly be peeping through the fences around the pool claiming there were people watching him instead of having fun with the rest of us. We were always there to make sure he would feel safe. All because his ADD meds would make him feel this way, way worse than ADD itself.
I would blame the medicines over parenting......
There seems to be a certain class of hateful windbags in this country who live to stick their big noses and rude comments into the lives of others.
I do wonder: Where did a student find the money (or credit) to purchase thousands of dollars worth of guns, explosives, body armor and equipment in the short span of a few months? And where did he get the money for 6,000+ rounds of ammo? Just wondering.
Apparently they're now thinking it was his student grant money.
My thoughts & prayers are with his parents/ family. I cannot even imagine what they are going through and will be facing in the future. Such a tragic thing to happen. their son was an adult & made a horrible decision, of his own choice. he needs to face that on his own. many are raised in perfectly happy & healthy homes w/ good/ decent parents and that individual just makes their own bad decisions, for whatever reason. the family should not be held accountable for that.
It looks like his parents steered him in the right direction because he was doing so well in his life, in a PhD program and everything. I don't see a reason to blame his parents for anything. They could not have stopped him, and he no longer lived at home with them. Some people just think nobody should have kids at all, that is part of the problem.
This killer 'monster' is not the fault of his parents. They should be left alone to grieve. It is the fault of a deplaorable disease in our society. It is OUR fault. It is the fault of everyone in this nation for ignoring it.
It is a national embarrassment once again brought to the forefront.
Every year we have events where some diabolical deranged person or persons perform murder.
Immediately GUN CONTROL, or the lack of it, becomes the enemy, the reason, the focus of our national discussion surrounding these types of senseless murders. Columbine high school, Gabby Gifford, the Aurora Movie Theater shootings / murders are examples occurring the past three to four years.
The root cause for these shootings is SCHIZOPHRENIA. It's a disease like AIDS, or Polio, or Tuberculosis, or Cancer that needs to be researched for its cause and then for the cure.
Because it is a mental illness it doesn't get the attention or the respect it deserves. while it is fatal .. it is proving that it is not fatal for the carrier like the shooter .. but for others, which could be any of us in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Not since Tipper Gore was in the White House has anyone of prominence in this nation even talked about mental illness. Al Gore got all the attention and publicity for his view on global warming. But the real champion was Tipper with her advocacy for those struck with a mental illness.
We cannot keep turning our backs to SCHIZOPHRENIA. We need it stopped.
as most parents they did their best to raise their child. what he has become as a young man is not their fault. only the blood sucking scum bag media would have you believe that they are monsters. look what the media has done to these people. they have made them prisoners in their own home completely disrupted the entire neighborhood, knocking on doors disturbing peoples lives. these leeches don't realize that this could happen to them also. from the photos i have seen they are blocking the streets, harassing any body going by and not leaving any neighbors alone. why doesn't the media work this hard digging up the truth on obama? no that would mean they might actually have to do some hard work so it is better to hang around outside of a house people who had nothing to do with the crime. the media is stooping to new lows even for them.
Even if the parents noticed signs of early sociopathic behavior (typically hurting small animals as a child) what could they have done about it. Sociopaths never learn compassion nor how to communicate with others effectively. The personality is set by around age nine.
Here is the thing Bob (and all others). Very few mentally ill people engage in criminal activity and most of them are for misdemeaners. However some do. Anyone under thirty with a predisposition for Schizohprenia under stress such as grad school can become mentally ill. Drugs can cause some one to develop Paranoid Schizophrenia or Schizophrenia in general. Not enough information known to determine who will and who will not develop schizophrenia.
Some criminals claim to be "conveniently" mentally ill as a defense but the legal system is becoming more stringent about that.
If you look at the video of him in the court room it looked like he was seeing or hearing something that wasn't there. This is referred to as "responding to auditory or visual hallucinations". If that turns out to be the case and he is guilty by reasons of insanity the families of the victems will not experience closure and neither will the community. He won't be hospitalized in a community hospital with a psychiatric unit. He would be put in a forensic unit in a prison.
OR it could all be an act - notice that the woman that was probably his legal counsel didn't seem too concerned about his curious demeanor at all guring this little sideshow!
How many people believe they would actually take anyone before a Judge in such a delibitated condition that they weren't lucid enough to understand the ramifications of the Judge's decidions.
This looked to much like a deliberate act on his part so he could set the tone for mitigating future legal punishment to me.
I actually thought about this with my son (who is 5 going on 6). What if he grows up to kill somebody? He is just a normal little boy. He's happy, playful, he throws tantrums, cries. Anyone's child could grow up to do something really bad or develop a mental illness or anything. A parent's biggest dream is that their kids grow up to be good people. And yes the society we live in now definitely challenges parents more. All parent's know this.
And yet if he did grow up to be a serial killer there would be a bunch of people who would immediately blame you.
It's sad.
And if his behavior starts to change or get strange, like hurting animals, bullying, becoming withdrawn, etc, you would hopefully seek some kind of help for him instead of ignoring the behavior as, "boys will be boys," or "teenage angst." If you see the signs and ignore them and your child kills people as an adult, than yes, I will absolutely put part of the blame on you.
A trusted friend who is in law enforcement recently told me we, as parents, can never predict what our grown children will do. We raise them right (whatever right may mean) and they make their own choices once they are grown; whether right or wrong. It's all up to God; keep praying.
Im not being mean but is that some type of new evidence we did not know? Because thats nothing new I think all adults know that....
Just sayin..
to news crews....leave the parents alone....he maybe there son but they didn't do the crime.seems like he was raised pretty good to be an honor student and medical grad student....something made him "snap" and maybe someday we will know what....LEAVE THE PARENTS ALONE....
Yes it is almost as if the media is interrogating the parents. Like the weasels are waiting to see if they break and say something, so they can report it...
His mother is a NURSE and his father a SCIENTIST! Sometimes people lose it! As a parent you always worry about the friends your kids hang around. Are they doing drugs? Are they drinking? Are they having unprotected sex? The last thing you say is are they out murdering people! These were not homeless parents with criminal records. They had their son in college like most normal american families. DONT BLAME THIS PSYCHOS PARENTS! THAT WOULD BE IGNORANT!
Typical scenario, guy kills, descend on the parent's home like paparazzi vultures over a carcass looking to scoop the first grif-stricken statement or revealing picture!
There ought to be a law preventing the required media feeding frenzy from surrounding the parent's home and tracking their every movement when this sort of thing happens - but then our National "Inquiring minds have a right to know" attitude actually encourages villifying the parents even when they have no possible motive why their offspring does these horrible things!
Did Hitler's parents know he was going to be the demon he became, did Al Capone's, did David Duke's? NO!
All those rejects became inhumane villians all by themselves employing their OWN definition of morality and operating within their OWN twisted version of reality!
It's obvious what happened to this Holmes character.
Brilliant student, Phi Beta Kappa, Golden Key, Magna Cum Laude. Then he went off to medical school where he was competing with people who were as brilliant as he was and couldn't make the grade.
From what I have read, he played video games "for hours at a time", not conducive to making it through medical school. Was put on academic probation, probably just devastated.
Started buying arms in May, after being put on academic probation? Gave up on himself, dropped out of med school ( I would be interested if he told his parents about his academic challenges; I would venture that he did not.)
There is something called the "diathesis- stress model" of mental illness and basically what it is that a person has a genetic predisposition for a certain mental illness and a stressful stimuli can set off the mental illness. It's obvious this man was set off by something and I believe the stressor was failing out of medical school.
He was "set off" by the fact that gaining fame as a brilliant doctor was going to take years. He wanted fame and notoriety, but he didn't want to put in the time and work to accomplish his goals. He wanted hero worship and he wanted it now. This man is not mentally ill, but by the time he gets through pulling the wool over the public's eyes, everyone will think he is.
OK, privatedancer has enlightened us all. Case closed; we don't need a trial.
Brilliant diagnosis, doctor!
Nope. Just my humble opinion. But thanks for the compliment! Will you marry me?
This is what they are reporting live from the suspects home:
Breaking news the suspects parents of james holmes suspect of the movie theater shooting have just arrived and have some sort of white bag with a M on it and a drink, it maybe McDonald's or something else and they walk straight in the house, Diane back to you Thanks Phil for the breaking news we will get every analyst we have to report about the white bag with the M on it and the drinks, we will find out what that really means.. Ok We have specialist analyst hockens van brockens with out to report about the bags and the drinks, Yes diane they were hungry, WoW thanks brock I don't think I could have figured that out on my own" Well you have it here first the parents of the suspected movie theater massacre they were just hungry"
SO TRUE>>>
Our children interact with and learn from us 24/7 for 18 years and then some. Anyone who believes as parents we do not have a profound influence likely has not parented well. Our inner emotional life and ability to relate to others is shaped by millions of interactions with parents and siblings before venturing into peer influences as a teen and then adulthood.
The AMA has medicalized human behavior, drug companies have cannibalized it. Corporations/marketing have trivialized and manipulated us bombarding us with messages designed to influence our behavior to buy.
We need as a society to regain our sense of being human. The fact that the NRA and concealed carry folks can be so successful by preying on fear is good evidence many no longer have the emotional and social skills to cope without their weapon security blanket.
Yes, parents are extremely influential in a child's development, especially in the overly commercialized, greed driven, uncaring society that has evolved in the USA.
Dealing with these types of situations is a slippery slope. How do you protect the rights of the individual and the righs of the society at large. When we had the laws of "Court ordered psychiatric evaluations" we often time took people in who were not mentally ill. The Courts essentially found that the rights of the individual, no matter how sick and dangerous had to be protected unless they did something. So now we wait until a known mentally ill person kills others then act as we are prevented from taking action before even if we suspect they will act out. This is a very tough question and one that needs to be grappled with until it is resolved one way or another.
I worked for two years in a maximum juvenile detention facility. I can tell you from personal experience that there were kids who were there because of their parents and there were kids who were there in spite of their parents. It made me realize there truly are people that are just born evil and nothing their parents do, say or try to teach them will change that. I saw families whose other kids were great kids who were educated and productive members of society and very loving towards even the kid in jail. It didn't matter that they'd all been raised the same. He/She didn't care what was said or taught they were going to do what they wanted to do when they wanted to do it and didn't care how many people were hurt or killed in the process.
Until evidence comes out that this guys parents were abusive or emotionally unavailable I can't and won't blame them. He was an ADULT. His parents didn't buy him the guns or the ammo or put this idea in his head. That is all him. You can be the best parents in the world and still raise a psychopath - there are things in which you have no control.
Agree that the press surrounding their home is akin to piranha in a feeding frenzy. But none of us know what goes on behind closed doors nor any events which may have contributed to this tragedy. Guess something may come out at trial to support his defense (see Casey Anthony lawyer's allegations against her father-whether true or not).
Have read a number of articles about him since this tragedy. What appears to be coming out now is that he was not a superstar nor brilliant. Mediocre at best. One article stated a "B" student with no AP classes. Too, he was not viewed as extraordinary by any of the professors cited in the various articles. So, the question begs to be asked. How in the world did he even get to where he was at this stage of his life? Did his father's background and connections put him in a situation where he was ill-prepared or had no realistic chance of success in that field? Things have become so competitive the past 30 or so years that one wonders whether the pressures young adults face by their parents are unrealistic. Just because a parent is a scientist, as apparently was his father, doesn't automatically mean their child will prove to have the same prospects or brain matter.
My guess is he snapped after realizing he could never meet the expectations that people had for him. Not an excuse for what he did. My fear is that parents have been putting too much pressure on their children, whether intentionally or not, and their children may snap, especially in these dire times.
The only way you could blame the parent is if we had a mental health care system in this county, which we don't. If they knew the guy had a mental problem or was exhibiting symptons of mental illness and did not refer him for some help then they would be somewhat responsible. However we do not have a mental health care system in this counry that is worth a plug nickle and to many of these troubled people slip through the cracks. The guy was most likly schizophrenic but with a high IQ a dangerous individual. This is why you should not blame the gun laws or the parents, neither can deter the actions of such an individual and this guy was smart enough to work around any gun law no matter how stringent...the explosives in the house proved that.
Sorry but "a parent knows." Yes, to a degree we have to feel compassion because there are too many laws that prevent hospitalization and treatment for the mentally ill, but these parents are not stupid. They could have found a way to have their kid analyzed and treated. Had they "filled in the dots" a psychiatrist would have been able to say it is time for treatment. But as in the case of many parents and mental health professionals--"out of sight" is "relief" as they do not have to deal with the problems. this kid did not just "snap," there is a history there and the parents and counselors, shrinks and whoever else was familiar with this monster need to be held accountable if only inthe context of "You did nothing to help." and now remember the parents are "lawyering" up and providing legal counsel now--where the hell was their help when they saw him disintegrating. Nothing is simple in murder; everything is horrific in mass murder.
And you know this from personal experience?
My aunt and uncle tried DESPERATELY to get their son help, but the laws prevented them from forcing him into treatment. He's dead now.
And you're assuming, without evidence, that there was something to "know."
However, not an excuse for murder. I know for a fact that there is mental health help on just about every college campus around. He could have asked for help, but didn't
It's not like having a pain in your chest and thinking that you need to see a doctor.
One of the things often seen in many forms of mental illness is that the victim doesn't seem himself as being ill. Their worldview is colored by the idea that they are fine, and it's the rest of the world that's wrong.
exactly severed head,
How can you ask for help if your mind is what is not working right, therefore, you have no idea that you even need help. Ever seen the movie "A Beautiful Mind" This guy had no idea for 20 some years that there was a problem with his mind. He actually thought he was working for the CIA. Even his co-workers and wife did not know he had a problem, he was just seen as an eccentric, intelligent man.
When the mind is broken, you are not able to know that you should be seeking help!