Don't blame the parents, blame the murderer. By all accounts this guy had a good childhood. The parents did their job. Somewhere between ages 18-24 he went nuts.

It never occurred to me to blame the parents given the influence of friends and our incredibly violent popular culture. Video games, movies, the news, and the prevalence of social media to propagate it all. It's amazing more of our kids aren't psychopaths.

I don't think it's necessarily a shallow outlook to look at his family life. It's shallow to just assume without any information about his background. There has been cases where a child's family life and how they were raised/treated is a result to their adult actions and mental illness. This particular case however doesn't show any signs for his parents to be ridiculed. Again, this was a random act of violence. Key word "random".

AG99: And yet, in spite of the fact that every controversial violent video game that gets "blamed" for causing violence has been released in the last 20 years, and movies keep getting more and more violent, rates of violent crime have been steadily DECREASING since around 1993-94.

I can understand the anger, and the parents are well aware that a lot will be directed at them.

If they had raised their kid up to be like that, I could understand, but from what I have seen and heard so far, they didn't.

The anger needs to be directed at the murderer. I think if the father knew what his son was going to do, he would have killed James himself.

Frankly, at this point, anger won't help anybody.

"When this happened, my husband said 'We can do one of two things,'" Lois Robison recalls. "We can crawl into a cave and pull a rock in there behind us. Or we can tell the truth and try to keep it from happening to someone else.'"

That's a brave and admirable attitude to take in the face of such a devastating incident. Sometimes there are forces beyond the control of any parent that can turn the child they love and sacrificed for into a killer. The family of the shooter are victims too.

Leave Holmes' parents alone and let them come to terms with it in their own time. Attacking them or blaming them will not bring back the dead.

AG99 - Enought with the "video games and violent movies". It's old, tired, and incredibly inaccurate. I played video games growing up along with many of my friends yet I don't go around trying to punch bricks and shot fireballs out of my fingers. I don't think I'm a ninja or anything else.

It's seems to be your problem if you think there's be an issue distinguishing reality from a video game or movie. Is this a common occurrence in you house or something?

This is equal to saying the gun killed these people instead of the person with the gun.

Lay blame where it deserves to be laid.

JohnDoe, the video games today are 100 times more violent, very graphic, and very realistic. There are some mind issues with troubled people but when you see the actual games played it can put chills down you back.

They promote a "no mercy" mindset with the more killed the more successful you are. What the hell do you think that does to a young person with low self esteem? I want to be like this in real life.

Holmes' crime is unforgivable, but it is absolutely wrong to denigrate the parents.

The parents raised a young man who, by the accounts I've read so far, seems to have been a rather accomplished fellow...but then, something went wrong.

But whatever went wrong....went wrong with HIM, not with his parents.

Some people harp on the moronic idea that the parents should have "seen the signs" beforehand. The truth is that nobody could have predicted that this guy would commit such a pre-planned atrocity.

Leave the parents alone. All of this is a tragedy for them, too.

Parents can do an excellent job of raising children, but the outcome is NEVER assured. So many things that can negatively influence kids are so readily available today that it's almost impossible for parents to always know what's going on. Case in point: A 16 year old girl today can get pregnant, decide to have an invasive medical procedure to abort the baby, and have the procedure all without having to tell her parents. And our laws uphold this. No, this is not an anti-abortion rant, but just one example of how hard it is to be a parent and REALLY know what is going on with your kids. I have three kids ages 17-23 and once they hit about 16, their friends and other things have more influence over them than you as a parent do.

I have tremendous sympathy for these parents. In a way, they have lost just as much as the families whose members were killed. They too have lost a child, but the child they raised will either be executed or spend the rest of his life in prison, and they have to live with what he did to these other families. It's a different type of loss to be sure, but a devastating loss none the less.

Trust me, if you raised all your kids and none of them ever got into trouble, you probably did a pretty good job of parenting. But you were also VERY lucky.

When I look at Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, they looked dark and ominous in their appearance, so I might ask the parents some questions about how they raised their kids. Timothy McVeigh was more in the middle: He looked relatively normal, but seemed like he was always tensed up, jaw and teeth clenched, and ready to snap.

It is hard even to question the parents of James Holmes. Through the time he was out of their house, they raised a child, who looked like the perfect kid. He was clean-cut, seemed very nice, volunteered at charitable organizations, a great student, and even in med school.

Clearly something was going on, but was very well hidden from everyone. I feel very badly for his parents.

AG99- People have been murdering others since the beginning of time. Before TV or Video Games or Rap Music. What was jack the ripper doing It must have been a violent play he saw or book he read. The only reason Violence seems more prevalent today is 200 years ago murder was easy to get away with. Kids went missing and they ran away or went to live with relatives was taken as fact. People went missing but they might have just moved on. Bodies were found but if a week had passed and animals had gotten to it who could tell how they died. The only real difference is we identify more victims and have more killing power for criminals and bigger crowds of unarmed victims.

Kevin C-752389 "When I look at Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, they looked dark and ominous in their appearance, so I might ask the parents some questions about how they raised their kids."

I have to disagree with this. My son went through a phase of wearing black clothes, even a black trench coat, while he was in high school. He was an honor student and won a full ride scholarship to a good university. He is now a computer programmer at a well-known university. While he may be king of the computer geeks, he is not a murderer or psychopath. He is a family man who is honest and law abiding. My nephew also went through a phase of wearing all black when he was younger. He has worked for the same publishing company for well over a decade and is a fine young man.

So my point is that Klebold and Harris may have only been going through a phase with the dark clothes and trench coats that had nothing to do with their mental state or their murderous actions. So questioning how the parents raised their children just because of their clothing choices would be out of line.

Do we credit the parents when they are abusive and violent and their kids turn out to be great, wonderful, kind people? NO! But we automatically assume the family is to blame when the kid turns out bad or crazy. There was a family in my home town, decent hardworking people, their oldest son murdered one woman and raped another. This family was shattered, Maybe the signs were there but who wants to believe their child is a monster waiting to emerge. I feel for any family who has to go through this. It is so easy to blame blame blame after the fact. But until one knows all the facts they should save their opinions for the victim alone.

BMette

“Holmes' crime is unforgivable,”

That is a sad statement for humanity. It’s very sad to me that all of us, every last one, are quick to point fingers at others without ever knowing the why’s or what’s of a person’s actions and then pretend in our minds that we are better than that person. No one is better than anyone else, not even in this. We are all guilty of something. It may be someone we hurt in our past with an ugly word or physical violence, a stolen something or other, a day out partying that ended in someone else losing their life or their mobility, or a thoughtless comment or action that irrevocably injured another without our ever knowing it – crippling them emotionally.

What if he’s mentally ill and it was never diagnosed? Or it was diagnosed and something went wrong with the medication he was on? What if there is a biological or psychological reason that happened quickly that no one could have foreseen? No one will every truly know what happened in this or any other such crime.

This will, and should, be dealt with (punishment or treatment), but all things are forgivable, though they may never be forgotten and people will struggle for years learning to get past it. If we don’t forgive, then we are at no better place than the one who committed the crime and the evil that happened is perpetuated.

I saw an interesting piece on using brain scans to identify individuals that may be prone to psychopathic, or sociopathic behavior. It estimates that 15% of the population have these traits, but it is unknown what might trigger psychotically.

I feel terrible for the family. I have a good friend whose son was a real good student, raised in a very stable and loving home, and was just a really great kid. At age 17 he just suddenly changed. He became violent and was continually getting arrested. He was eventually diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. They even had to move from their neighborhood becase the son had caused so much damage and alienatated all of their neighbors. Fortunately he's never killed anyone, but it is still very hard on the family.

Ah yes, now we're seeing the results of "don't blame the person who did, blame everyone else." Maybe this will be a wakeup call to those who recieved trophies just for showing up.

"When I look at Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, they looked dark and ominous in their appearance"

Kids will be drawn to a style that makes them feel good. That has nothing to do with becoming a mass-murderer. The only question I would ask of the parents is how involved were they with their kids?

"When I look at Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, they looked dark and ominous in their appearance"

This is precisely the kind of ignorance that fuels the blame-the-parents mentality.

Blaming violent video games/movies is just as stupid as blaming the parents. This kid seemed to be raised right and was a very smart individual. If you're saying someone who was trying for a Ph.D. didn't know the difference between GTA and real life, then is everyone constantly confused about what is real versus virtual.

Yes, the violence and graphics are better today, but anyone with a brain knows when you shoot someone in real life there is no "respawn". And saying that there is a no mercy mindset...against what exactly? NO MERCY TO THAT COMPLICATED SET OF POLYGONS AND PIXELS! I have played games since the early 90s and I know for a fact it is easy to distinguish reality from fiction. A movie is a visual novel and a video game takes that visuel to the interactive level and that's it. I'm noit going to think I can now go fashion a set of armor and fight a dragon after work today.

EDIT: I feel those that need to blame video games/movies do so because they themselves sometimes forget the difference between reality and fiction...or don't understand the medium (more for gaming that movies)

Anyone that is blaming the parents has never had children. You raise them as best you can (they don't come popping out with instructions booklets), but eventually they form their own personalities and own views of the world and become adults. Adults need to be held responsible for their actions. If this shooter was under a doctor's care or on any kind of medications, HIPPA regulations prohibit medical providers from speaking to anyone, even his parents, about his condition.

Look, I have mixed feelings about this. Yes, at a certain point your children are making their own decisions, but they make those decisions based upon what they learned from you and what they lived. If they are suffering from a severe mental illness, a parent has a duty to get as much help for their child as possible. Even saying that, there is only so much we can do as parents with the way the laws are once a child turns 18.

What you teach your children before age 5 is the most important things you can ever teach them. They learn right from wrong. They learn to empathize with others. They learn to value the lives of their fellow man. Comparing someone like Jared Laughner to Tim McBride does no good. McBride thought his viewpoint was more important than the lives of others. Jared Laughner has schizophrenia.

We all have responsibility for each other, so while I empathize with the family, I'm not quite willing to give them a pass. If you can't trust families to teach and watch over each other, than what the heck are we supposed to do in the world. I take a certain amount of pride in my daughter's achievements, even though at some point they became hers and not mine. If she does something truly awful, then I will say, "What did I do wrong? Where did I fail her?"

@abanksone and others, yes, it may have been a phase, but I hope you were watching your kids for other signs. It was much more than just dark clothes they were into.

Kevin C - There are lots of kids who go through all sorts of different phases. Some wear dark clothes, some do drugs, some drink, some like Harry Potter, are honor students and never get into trouble. The majority of all of these kids will grow out of any "phase". The woman who said her son went through that goth phase also said he was an honor student and turned out great. Apparently she was watching for signs. Just because a kid wears something doesn't mean they are into anything else. When I was young, my boyfriend had long hair and everyone assumed he must be a druggie. He actually was very opposed to drug use and kept me from heading down a bad path. We have been together for 23 years now and he is still a good man (and still has long hair). We have a 21 year old daughter who is a self described "geek" who is in college, never gets into trouble, works 2 jobs and volunteers. She has also gone through her phases. Just because a person looks a certain way doesn't mean "it was much more than *** they were into".

Check out JohnDoe and Monkey's responses. Don't like anyone to criticize their video games and start going after anyone who disagrees with them. That's fine, think what you like, but to start suggesting I'm the one with the problem is lame.

I'm not talking anything along the lines of murder, but I know lots of families with several kids where just one of the kids is a bad actor and gets in all sorts of trouble, even though they are raised in the same way as the others who never get into trouble. So can the parents be praised for the good kids and simultaneously be blamed for the bad one?

hs321

Aaahh...the ugly catch 22 rears it's head again. So their child is responsible for what he did as an adult and we can't blame the parents. But weren't the parents adults when they raised the child? Why is the child responsible for what he did as an adult, but the parents aren't? And if the parents aren't responsible for what they did as adults, why is the child now that he's an adult?

You can't have it both ways. Either they're both responsible or neither. To what degree is another matter.

Sorry hs321 but I disagree, you can indeed have it both ways. Certainly parents are responsible for raising their children as best they can, however once the children become adults they become responsible for their own actions. Raising someone doesn't translate in some kind of magic ability to control everything they do and think after they become adults. Even when they are still minors and under your care kids will sometimes do things you don't approve at all, even after you punish them they still have done something you didn't agree with.

And in cases of mental or psychological issues (and illness), sometimes the parents are to blame, but in many cases they are not. For example some people can become psychopaths after being neglected and abused, or for other reasons, while others were born psychopaths. Some psychopaths are harmless despite their lack of empathy for others, while others are dangerous. You can't blindly accuse the parents for their children's faults, sometimes they are responsible, but in many cases they are not.

Common sense and compassion tells us the parents are not pariahs.

And yet, last week Bill O'Reilly BLAMED and put a judgement on the parents who took their children to the opening screening of a PG-13 movie.

BUT...the supporters of "Gun-rights" have absolutely no problem with assault rifles and the easy way you can purchase SIX THOUSAND ROUNDS OF AMMUNITION.

Time to get our sensibilities in perspective.

As a society...WE ARE TO BLAME for allowing the 2nd amendment to be reinterpreted by a lobbying group.

hs321

Aaahh...the ugly catch 22 rears it's head again. So their child is responsible for what he did as an adult and we can't blame the parents. But weren't the parents adults when they raised the child? Why is the child responsible for what he did as an adult, but the parents aren't? And if the parents aren't responsible for what they did as adults, why is the child now that he's an adult?

You can't have it both ways. Either they're both responsible or neither. To what degree is another matter.

So a person is responsible for the actions of another person? Sorry - thats the dumbest thing I have read all day.

Are parent responsible for their kids under 18? Yes. Are they responsible for the actions of a 24 year old crazy? Absolutely not.

@IXLR8

This would only matter if the person playing those games can't differentiate reality from fiction (aka mental illness). And if that was the case, ANY form of fictional media could affect them, from TV to books to music.

You make it sound like video games brainwash people. I've played my share of violent video games and I have no urge to go out and kill.

Video games, movies, the news, and the prevalence of social media to propagate it all.

The whole pop-culture arguement is bogus. Video games made $10B in 2010 and movies made about the same amount. 1 nutjob shoots up a theater and now it's the violent video games' fault? Ridiculous.

No parent can follow their adult child around after the age of 18.

They are not responsible, but the fact, the Mother said, "It was him", is weird.

Adult Children move around to other States, like this "Clown", Holmes, and years can go by before any family members see their kin, or never see them again..

The ties are cut from the parent", who is now an Adult. An Adult who is responsible for their own actions. This particular one became Evil, and now known for the largest massacre in the history of the United States.

Repulsive.

I can now bring my gun more places than I can bring my cigarettes, whats up with that?

We all have responsibility for each other, so while I empathize with the family, I'm not quite willing to give them a pass. If you can't trust families to teach and watch over each other, than what the heck are we supposed to do in the world. I take a certain amount of pride in my daughter's achievements, even though at some point they became hers and not mine. If she does something truly awful, then I will say, "What did I do wrong? Where did I fail her?"

I think it's natural for parents to feel guilt about any problem or issue their child might have, to blame themselves. But some things are no one's fault.

Some people are lousy parents yet their kid turns out great, while others do a wonderful job and still their child has serious problems. As parents, we can't take too much credit, nor should we take all the blame, for how our kids turn out.

If you don't think the parents of James Holmes are in a very dark place right now, searching their souls for what they did wrong, you are obviously not a parent yourself.

They are not responsible, but the fact, the Mother said, "It was him", is weird.

Her words have been misconstrued. What she said was, "You have the right person" when asked if her name was Holmes and if she had a son in Aurora, Colorado. She was in no way saying she knew her son was capable of doing what he did.

They are not responsible, but the fact, the Mother said, "It was him", is weird.

That's not what was said. When the reporter called the mother and asked if she was the mother of the shooter, she said "you have the right person" meaning herself. The reporter took that quote and used it out of context and has admitted it.

It's not about blame the parents. It's about an excuse to hate. If you spend any time reading comments on different sights you'll eventually realize there is a lot of hate in this world and some people just look for a chance to hate. Pretty sad.

SOOOOOO.....
are dictionary defintions a more clear path as to why it is legal for me to own a gun?!

You legally own a gun. Fine.

The NRA owns our politicians.

That is not the definition of a democracy.

Video games, movies, the news, and the prevalence of social media to propagate it all. It's amazing more of our kids aren't psychopaths

ag- you forgot to blame rap and elvis' swinging his hips back and forth.

Blame the media, they give notoriety to those that it need it the least...criminals. The make all the people famous that should be hidden in solitary and never thot of again until the death sentence is carried out. Just like the idiots that used to flash at ballgames...they don;t show them and it is decreased, would it be reasonable to say that if the media stopped publicizing these whacko's would it discourage their weird personality trait that seeks notoriety? I know one thing the media is out for ratings and money nothing more, we as the public have no need to know so many little details of horrors like this one, if you do then you are as weird as the culprit.

@ OMG Really People, you ignore the word state in your arguments, who are the state officials who regulate this so called militia you speak of? These people who have military style weapons and massive amounts of ammo, what is there rank in the state militia, when have you seen a state muster these "troops" for training and exercises of a well regulated state militia. Can the governor of a state call them into action, does he have a list of the officers and enlisted men, what is their official name that identifies them with their state? They are random individuals, they are not a part of a state militia, and neither is the NRA. We basically have not had state militias regulated and guided by officers who were ultimately under the command at at the disposal of regular army officers since the Civil War. These individuals have the weaponry but in no way are they part of a well regulated state militia, if they were then I would certainly expect some court marshals for the murder of civilian non combatants. When will the NRA court marshall any of these people who commit these crimes if they belong to a working state militia? Your argument is silly these people are in no way part of any state militia, if they were I would like to speak with their commanding officer.

The NRA owns our politicians.

That is not the definition of a democracy.

The NRA is composed of politician's constituents. The politician's represent those NRA members. Those members want to limit firearm laws. What is undemocratic about that? That is democracy in action.

Well regulated refers to bowl movments.

The parents will have difficult time questioning themselves for the rest of their lives, very sad for them..They should never be blamed no matter if they were strict or not. My only Question is there any mental illness in the immediate family not that it changes anything as there is very little help out there for this.

Sell your home and consolidate 8)

Then move out of the Country somewhere quiet 8) The media is out to get you and blame you for your sons insanity.

blame blame blame the media sucks

Good luck

Ted Bundy - Know one knew he was bat sh*t crazy. Not his parents ,not his friends . By all accounts he had a really good upbringing . Some people just blow a freaking gasket some times and nobody will ever know why . Ann rule ( true crime author ) worked with Bundy in Seattle and didnt suspect a thing about him. So go figure . Some people are just flipping evil .

@hs321...that is the dumbest fffuuuccckkkiiinnnggg thing I have ever heard in my life, and I've been around some of the fumbest ducks. I can't even believe you were able to keep that thread in your head long enough to type it down since a normal brain would have imploded after about 2 seconds of that crap. If a person is raised to be the best they can be and given everything yet taught to appreciate it and still becomes a monster you don't blame the parents, you blame the individual for their choices. Even if you have a questionable upbringing you still are responsible for your actions as an adult. The parents are responsible for you when you are a child because you are not yet able to make the right choices since you have no experience or reasoning capabilities, as well as the critical thinking skills that are essential. To add to this point there is nobody, in the history of man, who you can say had the perfect upbringing. Everybody's experiences are different and each person learns differently from these experiences. What one person calls paradise another can call hell so there is no real standard. You don't get a manual when you become a parent. It is all shoot from the hip from what YOU learned growing up.

So whatever you had bouncing around in your head, by all rights, should have caused you a stroke but apparently the gods have kept you around for our amusement. Unless the parents specifically raise their children in the fine arts of murder, serial killing, child abuse, sexual abuse, or any of those deviant behaviors then the parents get NONE of the blame for what an adult child does. There is no weird conspiracy of hypocrisy for blame, you douche.

Having said that, how great would it be for you if everything could be blamed on somebody else and you didn't have to take personal responsibility for your actions? MY MOMMY MADE ME DO IT!!! Then we could go ahead and execute not only you, but your whole family and thus free the gene pool for evolution instead of stagnation.

Gone were the civilization era,Welcome back to the time of Wild,Wild, West !

Why don't we learn somethings here? The people are begining to form as united states of Fear.

Franklin Roosevelt uttered the famous statement during his first inaugural address on March 4, 1933. In speaking of the economic depression that he inherited, he stated, "...let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself..."

I think he was goddam right, actually.What had caused these "Nuts" always having the feeling of "Fear" agenda to manipulate others. ?

Fear of fear probably has cause more problems in our lives than fear.Fear the main reason of this great Country almost to his knee as bankrupt or it might cause civil war infighting of each other .Fear has offer nothing to its citizens,but the agony of pain and sorrow.

Kevin C-752389

When I look at Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, they looked dark and ominous in their appearance, so I might ask the parents some questions about how they raised their kids. Timothy McVeigh was more in the middle: He looked relatively normal, but seemed like he was always tensed up, jaw and teeth clenched, and ready to snap.

It is hard even to question the parents of James Holmes. Through the time he was out of their house, they raised a child, who looked like the perfect kid. He was clean-cut, seemed very nice, volunteered at charitable organizations, a great student, and even in med school.

Clearly something was going on, but was very well hidden from everyone. I feel very badly for his parents.

It's people like u kevin that create the pariah sensationalism. U superficially judge people and have no clue about them.

The NRA is composed of politician's constituents. The politician's represent those NRA members. Those members want to limit firearm laws. What is undemocratic about that? That is democracy in action.

What about the principle of majority rule? The majority of Americans are not members of the NRA. Gun ownership has been dropping over the past couple decades. Yet the financial and political influence of the NRA has grown. Americans have been brainwashed into buying guns out of NRA fear-mongering. No politician is willing to commit political suicide by standing up to the NRA.

Those who are content with the status quo-- where a disturbed individual can terrorize an entire community with legally purchased assault weapons, with huge quantities of ammunition bought online-- need to do some soul searching. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

Freedom is not just about gun ownership. Freedom is about living in peace and safety too. How about let's have some freedom from the random gun violence perpetrated by deranged, violent Americans?

They are not responsible, but the fact, the Mother said, "It was him", is weird.

Actually, the mother didn't say it was him.

A reporter called her at 5am. Told her her name and the name of her son and she said, "Yes, you have the right person."

The reporter then proceeded to report it as if she had said that they had the right person when they caught her son. According to her family lawyer, the mother had been referring to herself, that yes, she was the right person.

It is easy to blame the parents if their child, even an adult child, does something terribly wrong. There have been instances thoughout the years where parents raise several children; one becomes a police officer and another becomes a thug. Yet they were both raised by the same parents and, hopefully, with the same values.

Oh, and Kevin C., my daughter started wearing black clothing to try and discourage a boy who was after her. She graduated h.s. in the top 10% of her class and just missed out by a few hundredths of a point from graduating college cum laude. That did not send her into a downward spiral. She is happy, with many friends (including that boy that was originally after her).

Holmes is a 24 year old adult who has been out of the house for a while. It just came out in the news that he failed a major oral exam that Ph.D candidates had to take. It is very possible that if he did not shoot up the movie theater, we might have heard of him attacking the campus of the college in the fall. There is no way to predict, with some people, what will set them off.

@OMG really people?!!

It is you who are the 'royal idiot'. RI stands for, most likely, Rhode Island, which is a state in our great USA.

More likely than not, RIMom has knowledge of our constitution and our second amendment, which gives her, and anyone who is a citizen, the right to bear arms (of course subject to certain disclaimers).

It seems she is also aware of our FIRST constitutional right - the right to free speech.

It was her opinion you ridiculed and it was her right you tried to squash with your form of internet abuse. Grow a brain, and a pair of balls. If you want to go at it, I am more than willing to join in the fray.

And I’d like to state that I do not only support the right for people to say whatever they want, whether or not it mashes up with my beliefs (but not when it attempts to oppress someone), but I also support the NRA and am more conservative than our republican leaders (though that isn’t hard). You can’t call me a liberal like it’s a dirty word – my policies and politics don’t fit that description.

The problem here is the media. 99% of us wouldn't even know who they were if the media didn't report their names and city. The media has no level of responsibility for their actions. All they care about if putting the next story up, no matter what the affect or consequences. The media's vision of "right to know" is far from the reality of "need to know".

Just because you have the ability to report it, doesn't mean that it should be reported.

As a parent myself, if my daughter ever went off in a movie theatre like that and killed 12 people, daughter or not, I would be the first to say she needed to be removed from society permanently. If Ted Bundy's mom had just not gone on trying to say he was innocent, I think more people would be free to give her the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, these parents remain parents first instead of looking at if from the outside observers point.

And secondly....there is absolutely no practical reason to own an assault rifle....much like there is absolutely no reason to own a tank (which IS illegal).

hs321, that is ludicrous logic. Using your set of logic, I could blame Adam and Eve for reproducing. Just because I have children doesn't mean that I have total control of their actions. Any child I have is a completely different human that thinks in his/her own way. I may be able to mold some of their traits, but in the end, they will always make choices that are their own.

I could just as easily argue that this is the fault of anyone that was previously a friend of this guy. More of your personality traits are derived from your band of friends then your parents. In many cases, you have traits that are opposite of your parents, because you didn't like something during your raising. (example, I was beat with a belt when I got in trouble, I do not do that with my kids). But most of my friends in school smoked, so I did too (I quit when I went in the service).

Leave the parents alone!!!!

As far as my 2nd amendment rights, I'll choose what weapons I see fit to protect my family. If I could afford a tank, I'd have one!

To all of you who say that you can't blame the parents - Really? When your kids do great you puff up your chests, take the credit and take pictures for the family album. When your kids do bad you run to the shadows, hide the family album and blame society, their friends, etc. You want it both ways a very typical mindset in this country these days. When things are good, take the credit, when things go bad, pass the blame. When someone's kid does bad and there are "recorded" instances of abuse, you blame the parents, hang them and give the kid a free ride. But what if there are no "recorded" instances of abuse and why does there have to be? You think that only instances of abuse make for a bad kid/adult? A kid watches everything you do and mimics it - how you treat other people and family, how you view the world and live in it and especially how you react when you are treated badly, done wrong by someone else - I bring that up because that seems to be the big issue in a lot of these recent shootings - "I was done wrong and I am going to get back at those who did it to me". It's never just one instance of bad but a lot of little instances of "not good" that tip the scales.

And to those who say "Don't blame video games or movies or music" for what happened here and in other shootings (or just when a kid goes bad). Really? Then why do we have disclaimers on everthing from car commercials to product information and everything in between? "Closed course. Professional Driver", etc. You can tell the difference between reality and fantasy? Well good for you but you are a very, very small minority in this country. Don't believe me? Go to YouTube, type in stupidity, sit back and watch. If what is on there is an example then the majority of kids and young adults today can't tell the difference that you seem to be able to do.

And to those who say blame the "Adult" for his behavior and his responsibility to know right and wrong - remember that when you and other start screaming about the "availability" of weapons - guns, knives, etc.

If you could afford a tank somebody would probably sell you one.

This is typical media ignorance at work. Will probably camp out now for days or months at this house. If I were the neighbors and this is a private subdivision I would be calling for a restraining order and to get the hell off my street. Find a public park somewhere if they are going to stay long term. So stupid. Wonder how much money they waste doing this?

There is nothing indicated thus far that these parents did anything wrong raising their child. Yes some killers are the result of F'd up childhoods or parents not bother to check in on them more but this doesn't appear to be the case. He lost it sometime after leaving home. He is an adult you know and can make decsions on his own. They know him but as far as what he was doing appear to have not or had a single idea.

Leave these people alone. Let them make a statement and then be done with it until something else comes about. They don't derserve this. Does the media think they are going to say they are proud or something? With what is known there is no reason to be there. It amazes me how ignorant the media can be.

It is time

I went to buy a handgun and they told me it would take 3 days, and I said "but I'm mad as hell right now!"

REFERENCE to my post # 1.30

To: 1.38 and your "friends"

so Royal Idiot mom, should i go further?

c/c

1.43

1.55

To: 1.38

I SUPPORT the right to be a responsible gun owner.

An assault weapon for "males" that has 6 thousand rounds of ammunition intended to kill, maim and traumatizes folks in a movie theater doesn't square with the 2nd Amendement .

I don't know here your well regulated militia is registered...but I'd like to know where it is in the USA.

Kindly alert the rest of us where we are fighting offthe invasion/

COH on that NAME CALLING please.

I don't know all the circumstances in this case, but many times people know of someone who is violent, makes threats, stalks someone and even if this is reported they are told the authorities can do nothing unless that person hurts someone. The best they can hope for is a restraining order from the court. What good is a piece of paper when someone is out to do you harm? If you notice unusual behavior of someone who do you report it to who can or will do anything about it?

My other thought is about guns. I have no problem with those who want to own guns having their guns (no one needs an assault rifle unless they want to kill people). But I've heard some make the comment that if someone in the theater would have had a gun they could have "solved" the problem. This guy had all kinds of protective armor on him and it would have been very hard to "solve" the problem with a gun. In my opinion the last thing that was needed in that situation would have been one or more people taking out their guns and have even more bullets spraying around inside that movie theater. I am sure if even the biggest gun fan stopped to think about it they would agree they would not have wanted one of their bullets injuring or killing someone besides the shooter.

I want to send my condolences and best wishes to all the injured, the families and friends of those killed and injured and also to the family of James Holmes. As a parent and grandparent I can't imagine the anguish they must all be going through.

As the child of a murderer, it is easy to understand the horror and loss when a loved one is the accused. I was only a teenager when my father shot and killed my mother and to have the looks and actions of others directed at me was devastating. Each one of us make our own choices and just because a loved one has made the wrong choices in life does not mean that everyone else in that family will do the same thing. In any tragedy we should pray for the victims, thier families, and the family of the accused.

I once heard of parents who were taunted endlessly because their son murdered a child. It got so bad, the father of the victim met the parents privately. He then stood on the porch of that family's home and asked people to stop. His action demonstrated the nobility of the human spirit. I think everyone, including the media, should leave these parents alone.

Well, if one parent were allowed to stay at home like Ann Romney was, we could all have a cadre of Taggarts, Tigits, Tanners, Targalacks, and TicTacs.

But with the last 35 year wave of employers refusing to pay and this last wave of paying absolutely BS wages, you're going to get mass murderers, lunatics, nuts, etc.

I guess the next thing to do is emigrate elsewhere for better wages.

I think people are making this out to be black or white. I dont think it's that simple.

Just because James Holmes parents raised him "just like everyone else" raises their kid, doesnt mean they did a good job...doesnt mean they didnt ignore warning signs, doesnt mean they didnt put their own personal professions and desires AHEAD of their kids issues and not help him when he was calling out for help, and they just chose not to see it that way.

ASKING these questions is fair, and just and SHOULD happen.

If I had a child, who ended up doing what James Holmes did, I would WELCOME all questions and want to dig as deep as I possibly could to see if I possibly failed my child and society at some point in time.

QUESTION: what if James Holmes parents knew to some degree what type of ugliness was in their son, and might have even thought that quite possibly someday he'd hurt himself or someone else, but chose not to do anything about it because A) they were embarrassed and B) they didnt want to "hurt their son" by protecting everyone else in this world.

you still think they did a great job and had nothing to do with this?

remember that when you kid starts swinging stray cats by the tail and launching them on roofs, and shows absolutely no feeling inside...and you have that moment where you wonder "what could my kid, as an adult, do to a human being if he can do this to a cat".

i've seen someone do this before, and I still wonder today what type of awful things that person has done to humans...but I was only 10 when I saw that happen, and my neighbors moved before I could ever know what they'd be like. and that kids parent was NEVER around...do the math people, sh!t adds up.

no doubt, as parents, you want to believe whatever your child - as an adult - does has nothing to do with you. but if you failed to raise your children with respect, thats reflects on you. if you failed to raise your child with manners, that reflects on you. if you failed to raise your child with the tools to handle stress and difficult life realities, THAT IS ON YOU.

you dont like that responsibility? dont have kids.

People just go nuts, can't always see it coming. I mean is every person described as "quiet and keeps to themselves" destined to become a mass murderer? No. Can't really blame the parents, as mentioned by all accounts he was raised well and there were no real signs he might some day do this. I also don't buy the excuse that it's movies and video games fault. I've played all those kinds of games when I was younger, I never went around or thought about killing people. If people can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy, they're inevitably going to do something crazy anyway.

@Grandma Moses-664013 - But I've heard some make the comment that if someone in the theater would have had a gun they could have "solved" the problem.- Thank you for bringing this up. I would love to meet the guy (or lady) that could actually engage and subdue a subject in that environment under those circumstances. The people that made (and expect us to believe) comments like that watch way too much TV, play way too many video games and have absolutely no concept of the reality of use of force. I sincerely hope some of them actually read this comment and are truly offended. The idea behind conceal/carry is that "the world around you is slightly more safe because you are armed" not that you are suddenly Little Joe Cartwright and the world better acknowledge your huge ego. This mentality does nothing more than make the anti-gun folks uneasy and it makes it really hard to convince them that guns are a symptom not the disease.

LordRaven.....I get so tired of people hiding behind the second ammendment as their right to own guns. You do realize that when this amendment was written, it took roughly 20 to 30 seconds to load one round into a rifle, then squeeze off a shot that was accurate only for about 50 yards? Our forefathers, as intelligent as they were, could not possibly have imagined the advances in weaponry that our world had gone through. In 1776, men still owned human beings, women could not vote, and occasionally, witches were burned at the stake. That's why there have been countless changes to the documents that we so faithfully live by. It's time to change that amendment....and I am not saying take EVERY gun away....I'm just hoping for a little sanity from the gun-nuts that feel the need to own weapons that would vanguish an entire theatre.

I've had relatives murdered, and a former classmate commit murder. I have to say I felt the same grief over all of the deaths, and I never blamed the family of my classmate. How could it be their fault? They were great folks. The guy was in his 20's and acted purely on his own.

I would hope if any of my family murdered someone, no one would come looking at me as if I were a sub-species type of person. The way I see it, if a killer's family is responsible for his/her actions, then a shoplifter's family is responsible for the theft and should be charged, too, or someone who is an arsonist, extortionist, kidnapper, etc, should have their family held responsible, as well.

People treat crime as medical professionals used to treat cancer... cut out a massive chunk so maybe we get it all. What ended up happening was people died from loss of good tissue as well as bad tissue. Our doctors and scientists know now that it is possible to isolate tissue loss to a very precise, much smaller area.

Blame the killers and shoplifters, kidnappers, and other criminals for THEIR OWN choices to commit crimes. Don't always look to the families. Someone might look at you for your child's misdeeds someday.

@ag99 its NOT the fault of video games or movies, or we'd see a LOT more people being violent and committing mass murder. Its just like blaming the parents. The only one to blame is the killer.

Its funny because an article last week (or so) interviewed a Prof of the killer who said that the killer was quiet and such, usually signs of a psychopath. Like all parents, the parents of this killer probably saw the signs, but wanted to ignore them so that they wouldn't exist.... This killer has done much elaborate work, especially by rigging his apt.... I don't know if he's a psychopath if this is premeditated and well thought out....

well he would have killed just as many people if not more with the shotgun... even worse pipe bombs or other homemade devices.. assault rifles and hand guns really had nothing to do with this nor did 6,000 rounds of ammo because he didnt use anything near that much. He made a trap out of simple chemicals at his apartment to kill cops... i mean come on wake up this guy was gonna kill people with or without guns... and no jessica it was not his parents fault.

I do NOT believe this man suffered a breakdown. I think he saw his life going nowhere (while withdrawing) from school and CHOSE to do something outrageous and horrible, so that people would know his name and remember him. Yes, I believe people can dedicate themselves to do evil as well as dedicate themselves to do good; the difference is the people who try to make the world a better place are NOT looking for recognition.

I do not think his parents and/or other family members should be punished, or the families of other criminals, except in cases where there is proven abuse/neglect.

hs321 - There is no place, time or space where doing all the right things guarantees all the right outcomes. You're living in a fantasy world as much as James Holmes. Someday when you're knocked down by reality you better hope that there are people around who are much, much smarter and more compassionate than you are to help you back up.

@kaybee,

Just a point of order, majority rule does not override the Constitution unless it is used to actually amend the Constitution. It was designed that way to help prevent majorities from curtailing minorities rights. That is the reason that many State supreme courts have upheld things like gay marriage despite voter's decisions . Like many of the rights protected by the Constitution, written and implied ones right to bear arms has its benefits and its detriments.

Kaybeetoys quit lying

Majority rule is right more than half of American homes have guns and 73% support the 2nd Amendment and Guarantees the Rights of Americans to own guns so stop with the lies already.

Huge amount of ammo? really I can easily go through 1k to 1500k rounds per day at the range

The Crime rate is dropping to record lows while the gun sales & ownership are going through the roof.

Recent poles reflect this go and Google it before you make comments that are not truthful.

The bottom line is this crazy bastard killed innocent folks he is to blame for this massacre and nobody else.

Like I said, Big Al, if you're happy with the status quo, with the U.S. being one of the most violent countries in the world, with our rate of gun violence being through the roof, own it baby!

Don't come crying when someone shoots you or one of your loved ones.

You can't blame the parents unless there's proof that they did something wrong. The face he showed them was probably a very different one then the face of the man who did the killings. Even if the parents had seen that something was wrong who would have listened to them. Remember he was an adult and living on his own. Unless he committed some kind of crime the police wouldn't have done anything. As an adult if they went to court without proof of some kind of criminal or self destructive act the court would have probably dismissed their case.

stevefoo - I understand the technology of our forefathers. It is an interesting argument, but is difficult to defend. The intent is what is more important then the technology. Their intent was for citizens to be able to defend themselves, from both civil and government unrest. They all were immigrants from countries that did not allow them to own weapons, in fear the people would rise against their rule.

So do you believe, truly, that George Washington would not have purchased the best weapon for defense that was available to him? Even the Continental Army had technology that was not used by the English, rifled weaponry. We could shoot farther and more accurate, a technological advance.

Humans have been killing humans since the beginning of humans. You cannot blame the weapon used, since by itself it is innocuous. While there is certainly an argument that certain weapons make it easier for tragedies like this, it does not address the underlying problem of mental instability within our society.

This whole thing is beyond stupid. If his parents abused him maybe they should have a trial of their own, but you cant really charge them for their sons crime. And moreover, I still dont understand what there is to try this guy for. How does it make any difference at all if he is sane or not? How does it make any difference what his parents did or what he has done in the past? He killed alot of people and THE ONLY other thing they should need to find out is WHO HELPED HIM. other than that there is no excuse for delaying his death.

RI-Mom,

It's not talking about the militia. The Supreme Court has already ruled that the right to bear arms is an individual right, not a right reserved exclusively for militia groups. That's it. End of story. Don't like it? Too bad. As far as assault rifles: a gun is a gun and no where in the constitution does it say that one weapon is okay to have, while another is not. And if you decide to start applying things to the constitution that aren't there, what's next? It's okay to say what you want in the newspapers, but not television? It's okay to believe whatever you want so long as you aren't a Muslim? It's a slippery slope you don't want to find yourself on. So, you have no argument here.

Kaybeetoys: I come from a small town where the gun population probably outnumbers the human population 5 to 1. I was probably five years old the first time I shot a gun, as is everyone else. My 95 year old widowed grandmother has four loaded guns in her house. Never once has anyone died as a result of gun violence. Never once has someone died in a gun accident. People have been injured in gun accidents, but never died or were permanently injured. There has never been a single violent crime happen within the borders of not only my town, but there has never been a violent crime happen in a three county radius of my town. In fact, the only crime that's taken place while I've been alive is when a couple of kids broke out of a brat camp twenty miles away, came through our town and ransacked a local gas station. Why not? Think about it. Every single person not only owns more than one gun, they're usually loaded and every single person knows how to shoot it. Would you try to break into someone's house, knowing full well that there is a gun inside and everyone who lives there knows how to use it? There are rifles in almost every vehicle. Would you carjack someone who can pull a gun on you? You never know who is actually packing and who isn't, would you run that risk? You'd have to be completely off your rocker to actually try to commit a crime in my town. So yeah, the three county radius of my town sends a pretty clear message: violence disappears when the good people own guns.

Turning on the parents tells me how little these people have evolved from the middle ages and is akin to zealots in the middle east who condemn everyone based on the actions of one. Its diabolical to think these poor people have to endure the taunts and insinuations from people who appear so frustrated they have to take out their anger on someone........TAKE THAT ANGER OUT ON GUNS!!! Campaign against guns and the gun culture in the US. Why on earth do people have to own weapons? Answer: FEAR.

If watching a violent movie or playing a violent game makes you want to go out and hurt someone, you were messed up before you did either.

Lusitania

My only Question is there any mental illness in the immediate family not that it changes anything as there is very little help out there for this.

If I'm not mistaken James Holmes was adopted. I don't know if his adoptive parents know who his biological parents are.

I have to believe Holmes is mentally ill. His behavior had changed drastically when he committed this act. This was a guy who did well all of his life- right up until just weeks before this happened. He was a camp counselor at a camp for disadvantaged kids. He was always an honor student. He regularly attended church. All the people who knew him said this act was not committed by the guy they knew. As happens to so many others in their late teens or as a young adult, mental illness strikes. I saw it happen to a nephew who grew up in a loving home. You can't blame his parents for what ended up happening. This is not the young man they raised. Just as our nephew was not raised with or to be violent, there is no indication this young man was raised that way either. What is a bigger problem, even if his parents were suspicious of the changes in his behavior, they are very limited with what they can do. Their son is an adult and it is extremely difficult to compel an adult to get mental health help if they have yet to do anything against themselves or someone else. The family is more than likely blameless in this tragedy.

1) Yes, you can blame the parents. They failed to teach their children right from wrong

2) Yes, you can blame the parents. They chose to be friends instead of parents and not reprimand their children

3) Yes, you can blame the parents. They took the "let's not get involved" or "if we ignore it, it will go away" path when they noticed things wrong with their children

4) Yes, you can blame the parents. They are responsible for ensuring their children take their meds to regulate their mental instabilities (and NOT over medicating just because their children had "behaviorial" problems)

5) Also to blame (like in Virgina Univ shootings) are the Politicians who didn't have laws preventing mentally unstable people from accessing weapons & ammo

6) Who is NOT to blame is the Movie and those related- which means NOT showing the movie will NOT prevent it from happening again. Those not showing the movie becuase its "unsafe" are idiots.

7) Who is NOT to blame is the people who went to see it, even if they took their children to what you may deem inappropriate. PG-13 is PARENTAL CONSENT. This means if your PARENTS feel that you are mature enough to handle it, then its OK (as long as they are with you).

Yes, eveery individual has the ability to say "I'm an adult and I will/won't be my own person", but a good portion of America's issues are because people CHOOSE not to get involved because its "not their issue", "doesn't involve them", "if ignored, will go away", or "will get sued" (the last one is the fault of greedy Politicians and Lawyers, the rest is just social apathy).

He's not mentally ill. He's studied mentally ill people and know how to behave to appear mentally ill.

I'm betting he's the type that wants to see if he can beat the system because he believes he's smarter than they are. Of course, without a confession to this, there's no way to prove it, and if he confesses to this, then he loses, so he won't do that. But why else would he be outside waiting for police and tell them exactly what he had, that his appartment was booby-trapped, etc.? This isn't the actions of someone mentally ill, but someone who wanted to be caught so they can challenge the system and try to beat it.

I believe this man is mentally ill, but not insane. Diagnostically and legally, there is a big difference. I am a mental illness patient - major depression disorder and PTSD from an abusive childhood at the hands of my sperm donor. I am mentally ill, but I am not stupid. I am mentally ill, but know right from wrong. I am a grown woman and have lived on my own for over 30 years - I wasn't even diagnosed until I was almost 40. Certainly, you don't think my mother should be held responsible for any of the behavior that I demonstrate because of my illness. I don't. As an adult, it is my responsibility to make sure I take my meds and go to my doctor appointments, not hers. Holmes is sane enough to know right from wrong, and make conscience decisions. And he's a terrible actor - you can see in his pictures that he is faking it. Oh, he is mentally ill alright, but far from insane.

Lady Cat - AMEN! Shawn1999 - I don't know if I agree with you, but you do raise a very interesting possibility. And that actually adds credence to the fact that he is mentally ill.

In 1966, Charles Whitman killed 14 people and wounded 32 others at UT Austin. An autopsy showed a brain tumor known as glioblastoma, the worst kind central nervous system malignancy. The result of such tumors can be abnormal and irrational behavior including a personality change.

Charles Whitman had a dysfunctional family. A lot of people have dysfunctional families. But that doesn't cause these kinds of bizarre events.

The Holmes' parents are also victims and probably suffering shock, disbelief and guilt. They may not have your sympathy, but before you judge, at least consider that they may not be the cause.

Besides the advantage of being armed, which the Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation . . . Notwithstanding the military establishments in the several kingdoms of Europe, which are carried as far as the public resources will bear, the governments are afraid to trust the people with arms.

--- James Madison, The Fedralist Papers 46

That the said Constitution shall never be construed to authorize Congress to infringe the just liberty of the press or the rights of conscience; or to prevent the people of the United states who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms...

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyrany in government.

--- Thomas Jefferson

"A free people ought not only to be armed & disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms & munitions to maintain a status of independence from any who might try to abuse them which would include their own government."

George Washington.

Here is a fact that can NOT be disputed. Laws only affect law abiding citizens. Criminals will still get guns or knives or bombs. Law abiding citizens aren't likely to commit a crime with or without a gun. Criminals will commit a crime with or without a gun.

Pistol Instructor -

Are you saying if there was someone with a pistol (maybe even trained by you) in that movie theater that they shouldn't have engaged the shooter? What do you teach in your class regarding this type of situation? Wait until the shooter is done, then jump up and shoot him or yell you're under arrest! Do you cover this type of situation in your class? or just burglar breaking into the house - one on one type of stuff? Everyone predicts that anyone with a gun in that situation will either start shooting blindly or just plain @!$%# their pants. Actually no one could predict with any certainty how anyone with a gun will react. If someone with a gun stood up and shot back, you think the shooter wouldn't have ducked at least maybe even ran? No there is no reason to think that.The shooting blindly, bullets whizzing by just fits their anti gun/bad owner thinking. Here's a question for you - Let's say one of your "students" was in that theater and was carrying but didn't engage the shooter just let him continue on his rampage. What do you think would happen when that was found out? And that he was one of your "students"? What do you think the press would say? How about the families of the victims? Would your "student" take solace from the people who say it was better he didn't start shooting because bullets would be flying everywhere? I bet you your "student" would get sued for NOT firing back. BTW - Little Joe Cartwright was always getting shot in the leg. I watched Bonanza too.

Tyler -

Glad to see you here. Where you been? This is first time I have seen you ban anyone! The first time in the 600 plus personal insults (conservative number) I have read on this website in the year I have been reading the posts. I can remember 2 or 3 bans total in that time period. You got a lot of work in front of you.

Blackbird

Yes you're right. People own guns out of fear. Fear of rapists with knives, burglars with guns, carjackers with screwdrivers, terrorists with box cutters, anyone bigger/stronger then them threatening bodily harm and even shooters in movie theaters. Yeah that fear. Fear in knowing that the police will not be there to save you. Fear in knowing that during your last moments on earth you will not be looking at your loved ones but at the face of evil as it kills you. It's your choice if you don't want to be prepared when you have your moment of fear, I and a lot of other people choose to be prepared. Heck, you can always hold up your cell phone and scream - "I called 911 the police are on their way!" That should work for you. Good Luck.

I, for one, feel really bad for the parents of the man who killed all those people. While it is certainly true that the way one is parented affects a person for good and for bad-and no parents are perfect-it is also true that once a person becomes an adult they are responsible for their own choices. That is why you can see someone who has been terribly abused grow up to become a responsible and productive person or someone who has been raised really well turn out to be a bum and a criminal. Also, people can change throughout their lives-I know some of you don't believe that, but I've seen it more than once. I come from a home with an abusive, alcoholic dad and a mom who was just hanging on, trying to survive much of the time. My brother was full of terrible rage as a young child to the point where we were afraid of him and what he would do to us or what he would become-he literally tried to kill me once in a fit of anger when he was a child and likely would have succeeded if I had not been older and faster. However, he developed a relationship with God as a teen and became a very caring young man; and he is not at all angry or violent today-he is a very pleasant and productive citizen who has never gotten into trouble. My mom prayed for us constantly, and none of us married alcoholic or abusive spouses-which is almost a miracle given the statistics for children of alcholics and abusive fathers.

On the other hand I have known children who seemed to have been raised in all the right ways in homes full of love who turned out addicted to drugs or messed up in other ways. Many believe there is an inherited tendency towards alcoholism, and I would not doubt it because my body has always responded physically to alcohol in a different way from the way other people's bodies do-by that I mean that when I was drinking (now I have been sober for a number of years) I had plenty of blackouts but I never got sick and never had hangovers. I DID always have the choice and responsibility about whether or not to pick up a drink in the first place. I wish there had been more education about alcohol when I was young-that might have helped me as it has greatly benefitted my daughter; but I digress...The point is that parenting CAN affect how a child turns out, but it is not the only thing that affects it-plus once the child is an adult he or she is ultimately responsible for his or her own choices regardless of how he or she was raised. And I say that as one who was severely abused-physically, emotionally, and sexually-and as one who has made some poor choices that were likely at least partially affected by the way I was raised. I still take full responsibility because that's what it means to grow up and to be an adult and because being an adult means learning from your mistakes. NO PARENTS ARE PERFECT!

Anyway, the way a parent raises a child has nothing to do with whether he or she will develop certain mental illnesses like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. If James Holmes has one of these mental illnesses, there is no way his parents could have prevented what happened. Even if you know that your adult child has a mental illness, even a serious mental illness, you can't make him or her get treatment or take medicine unless you can prove that they are an immediate threat to themselves or to someone else-and that is not easy to prove. If they aren't talking about their plans to kill someone or themselves, then there is nothing you can do. Absolutely nothing. And that's assuming you KNOW they are mentally ill. In many, if not most cases, it takes a long time for a person to get diagnosed; and often they don't get diagnosed until they have a crisis. It's almost always a breakdown of some sort or an incident of harm to themselves-harming others is really rare with mental illness. Those are just the cases that get all the media attention because who wants to read about John Doe or Jane Doe whom no one ever heard of taking a drug overdose or slitting their wrists or breaking down and sobbing or laughing hysterically or babbling incoherently one day and having to be hospitalized all of a sudden? I don't know if James Holmes was mentally ill, but even if a mentally ill person wants treatment it's often prohibitively expensive. It's really unfortunate that care for the mentally ill is not more accessible.

How do you know Caylee was murdered? No proof of that obviously or she'd be in prison.

When grappling with the senseless and escalating violence in our society one often feels a need to assign blame or find neatly packaged causes for it but the reality is we really do not know and may never know the one sole cause of mass murders. It is likely that it is often a combination of things which should be considered in the future prevention of such acts. That is if We were all of one mind to even try to prevent such nefarious acts.

Jimcolorado-2047646 - Yes, because that's how it always works... smh

People are let off all the time because there is a shadow of a doubt. That's the requirement for convicting a person - there must be no doubt that they did it. Otherwise you have to let them go. That doesn't mean they didn't do it - it's just a legal technicality. Or did you forget all of this?

She didn't duct tape her own face and murder herself.

John Doe -

Stop pretending to be a lawyer. The standard for criminal conviction is "beyond a reasonable doubt" not "beyond any shadow of doubt" or "no doubt". There can be doubt. If your standard were actually used, the conviction rate in this country would be about 10%.

Kaylee Anthony had a rag shoved in her mouth and duct tape around her head when they found the body. That's not loving care.

Just as we don't know for sure Natalee Holloway was murdered in Aruba but the mitigating circumstances seem to indicate that she was.

there was proof. did you watch the trial?

i wish the 10 homicides within a mile of my college in the past 2 weeks would get some news. but noone cares about north philly

"How do you know Caylee was murdered?"

Oh Caylee was murdered alright, plenty of evidence there, just couldn't prove to the jury that Casey did it.

Some people are inherently evil and nothing can change that, not even perfect parenting. Casey Anthony has no conscience and her actions showed it. I have two children, if one of them went missing, I know I wouldn't be able to cope, let alone go out and party. We hear all this nonsense that some people deal with things differently but no, a normal person wouldn't go out to party or spend a day in bed with her boyfriend, a day after her child supposedly went missing. Some people think only of themselves and their needs and Casey Anthony is one of those people. Studies shows that some people's brains are wired differently, they feel no compassion, guilt or sorrow and those are the people who end up killing others. In order to protect the rest of society, those people need to be locked up but then we have the defense lawyers and our constitution which protect those people.

Jimcolorado-2047646

How do you know Caylee was murdered? No proof of that obviously or she'd be in prison.

Let's just suppose your little daughter died accidentally in some way. Would you stuff her body in a garbage bag and bury it down the road in a shallow grave?

Did the jury need a videotape of the crime to draw the same conclusions most Americans drew about who killed the child?

Really dumb, MSNBC is just getting so lazy... really, quoting internet posts ?

Putting all parents of murderers in one group is pathetic, surely some have more culpability than others. And if you have to look for quotes in your god damn article to validate the idiocy, well then you probably need to call the school where you got your journalism degree and ask for a refund. There is absolutely no basis to make that claim beyond idiotic posters, who for all you know, are 10 years old. Stop using anonymous posts as proof of anything and actually investigate the story, or don't write it.

Surely they are plenty of parents creating murders with abuse, and plenty who are rock solid that, as I suspect here, have a child who is chemically imbalanced, and no level of love would have prevented their killings. But that would make for such a provocative story now would it ?

Our Planet

So "blame the parents" shows it ugly face. The man in question is an adult and to blame his actions on the parents or upbringing just shows how shallow that outlook is.

You see, this is the bull@!$%# I don't like, two faced people, and I'm going to say what I have to say.

Many of YOU are now "up in arms," saying "it's not the parents" fault, but how many God damn times do you read on these blogs about some black guy, either younger, or about his age, killing someone and, all of a sudden "IT'S THE PARENTS FAULT," simply because he's black, and came from the ghetto/projects.

I know some of YOU are going to want to "back-peddle," now, but I call you how I see you, and many of you would have no problem saying it's the parents fault if this guy was black, and from the ghetto/projects!!

Some of YOU people are such HYPOCRITS!!!

Think of how extremely rare it is to have a human being that is so degenerate that he murders. To have that little respect for life is an extremely rare trait. Some people do it when they have to (e.g. Soldiers) but even they often feel bad for it and/or take measures to assure that it is only done of necessity.

Wanton killing of any life, but especially of human life speaks to a character so flawed and evil for never having learned and understood the value of life.

It is the parents, primarily, who are responsible for instilling in their children the sanctity of life (and I don't mean this religiously, although if that is your way, then fine.) If your child has not learned this most important of all lessons ever, then you have failed as parents and deserve the blame. If your child did not grow up understanding that life is to be respected, then you are at fault for not teaching him/her that lesson at every opportunity.

They sequestered the jury in the Anthony trial. The jury didn't see any of the media coverage the rest of the nation witnessed. The media did not get much of a chance to tell the jury what to think.

Now the rest of the nation? Well we just fall for it every time. Politicians figured this out too. Get the media to inflame something and the country will bicker back and forth about it. We'll even pretend that we're educated about the subject and say things that sound "reasonable" even if they aren't verified or even true. This is how I will lose my gun. Not because I'm a criminal but because it just sounds reasonable that if guns were illegal we wouldn't be able to shoot each other. This is how we erode our own freedoms because it sounds reasonable. The media makes it sound reasonable. Somebody earlier in this thread suggested that they "understood" Holmes had psychiatric problems in the past. I hadn't read or heard this before but it sounds "reasonable" although "unverified" by me personally.

Really jimcolorado?!? you sir, are dumb as hell! Caylee had duct tape on her face when her body was discovered in a shallow grave. but there isn't evidence that she was murdered, right? wow. the stupidity of people never ceases to amaze me. Anyways, I agree that the parents should not be blamed for what their crazy kid did. I think they should be left alone to grieve after such a horrific event. Empathy people, try placing yourselves in the parents shoes right now. As parents, we try our best to raise happy and contributing members of society. There is no perfect parent out there, we all make mistakes somewhere along the line, and to have your own child that you love unconditionally cause such mayhem and tragedy and then to get blamed for it. It truly is a sad situation and my heart goes out to not only victims of the shooting and their families, but also to the family of Holmes. As humans, we are a cruel species so lets try and have a little heart here.

Video game killing does not always lead to real murder. I have the game wolfenstein 3d, getting through the deadly maze I killed over 100 video NAZIs. Have I taken to the street killing everyone in sight? Of course not. The urge to kill people has to be a part of the killer from birth. Sane people have to be trained to kill on command.

The jury system is flawed. Guess who chooses who gets to sit in those 12 seats? THE DEFENDING LAWYERS. Yep, that's right. When they say "trial by peers" they really mean "trial by people who are naive, dumb, and will sympathize for you." You think the killer's jury is going to be educated men and women in their mid 20's with a master's degree? Nope. Just like how OJ's jury was predominantly colored folk and with only HS diplomas and mostly women.... Our justice system is FLAWED my friends so if you ever want to get out of jury duty, just say you're an engineer or a scientist, they'll give you the boot real quick.

I dont know how they raised their kid but I have seen the difference between children who are raised well and children who aren't...I believe the parents are responsible to a certain extent if they raised him with beliefs that led him to think that he had the right to do this.

If he actually has a mental illness that is a bit different but parents still have a certain responsibility -they are not completely exempt in all cases.

the parents are not to blame. He must have been on antidepressnants. THEY CAUSE VIOLENCE!!!!

In 2004, the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) decided SSRI antidepressants must carry a black box warning that the drug can cause suicidal tendencies. But what about violence and homicidal tendencies? Despite mounting evidence that antidepressants and certain other drugs can induce violent behavior and has led to the tragic death of spouses, family members and friends, the FDA has done nothing to warn or curb the use of such drugs.

According to CCHR²:

"It is well documented that psychiatric drugs, particularly antidepressants, can cause a host of violent side effects including mania, psychosis, aggression, violence, and in the case of the antidepressant Effexor, homicidal ideation ... [P]eople with no prior history of violence (or suicide) became homicidal and suicidal under the influence of antidepressants. ... However, despite all the documented violence-inducing side effects of these drugs, the FDA has never issued black box warnings on antidepressants causing violence or homicide despite the fact that at least 11 recent school shootings were committed by kids documented to be on or in withdrawal from psychiatric drugs."

The expert testimony in this case was supplied by Dr. Peter Breggin, an outspoken critic of psychiatric drugs. The featured article quotes him as saying:

"These drugs produce a stimulant or activation continuum... That continuum includes aggression, hostility, loss of impulse control … all of which are a prescription for violence."

Uh....kimposibl? Google out Jury Selection Procedure

I admire your passion and I agree that our justice system is flawed.

Lets get real. Violent video games and movies do not cause violence, they are a reflection of the society. Americans love violence. Our country was born in violence, expanded in violence and has maintained global power through violent measures. We glorify those that kill our "enemies", and I mean no disrespect to those that serve and sacrafice for our freedoms. American's love affair with firearms is far more reaching than just our right to protect ourselves from oppressive governments. Violence in many forms has, and will likely remain acceptable in American culture. I am rarely surprised when an atrocity like the one in Aurora happens. It does sadden me though. All the lives that have been affected.

This "child", "kid", and so forth. What the hell is wrong with people? This guy was an ADULT, not a child. The media would have you believe that a 24 year old is a "child". It's been going this way since our pathetic government raised the drinking age from 18 to 21, which makes "children" who are adults, being perceived as children even though they ARE adults! Good job America, go kill for your country, but no beer with your burger. Pathetic!

kimposibl, You are either very old and stuck in 1950 or you are flat out ignorant. I guess you have never been on a jury because you are plainly too stupid to qualify. Use of the term "colored" to describe BLACK or AFRICAN AMERICAN people ended about 40 years ago. Please educate yourself or shut up. Regarding jury selection, you again expose your ignorance. Prosecutors get to participate in the selection process. Where were you when innocent men were getting convicted for murders and rapes they didn't commit? Was the jury selection system screwed up then? Are you aware of how many men have been freed from incarceration by DNA evidence in the last five years? The problems with are justice system are myriad and complex. Some of it is simple human bias and outright corruption, some is incompetence. None of it is as simple as your thoughts...

People love to cast blame. They'll say "you knew he was crazy" like they expect parents to put him down if his mental capacity is in question. There are a lot of crazy people in the world and most never kill or hurt anyone in fact it's usually the other way around.

I agree, however the son should be made aware of how much this is hurting his family, maybe make him suffer a bit for the tragedy he imposed. He may not care about the victims but I bet he cares about his family.

SIESTASIS

He may not care about the victims but I bet he cares about his family.

I strongly doubt that.

You assume Nurture supersedes Nature. Yes, a stable upbringing is a good start, and preferable, but a lot of abhorrent tendencies and behaviors may be hardwired into some individuals, even passed genetically. From what it appears, this guy defined himself by his academic prowess. His departure from reality may have had to do with the difficulty of the academic program he was attempting. This is a stressful endeavor which may have triggered a psychotic reaction.

No, it should not be illegal for the media to be outside the house. But do they ALL have to show up? Look at it, it's disgraceful! Why not just a small crew from the associated press? The number of them should be illegal, and they should have to leave after a certain number of hours in a row. They are damaging the property and effectively keeping the parents prosoner in their own homes. All to get "the scoop." Nerds.

Sorry, but the rights of the free press is what we have in this country. As I understand it, this person has had psychiatric issues in the past. If this is corect, how can the pasrents claim shock when their son does this?

But then, how will the public know what the family is doing on a minute-by-minute basis?

"Hold on, I can see movement inside ... It looks like the killer's father is about to make breakfast ... Yes, I've just received word he is pouring the milk as we speak ... "

/ Vultures, the lot of them

Actually Bob, they're keeping the entire neighborhood prisoners in their own homes. With all that going on, they can't drive through the street, the noise and lights at night make it difficult to sleep, they throw their trash from drinks and fast food on everyone's lawns. Been there, done that and it's extremely annoying.

I have no respect for the media. They are vultures, the whole lot of them. Do the people going through a catastrophe really need/want a damn camera in their face. I see it all the time here, after a tornado. They just have to be the first to report some kind of human interest story. The only people that press should be focused on right now are the authorities. The shooting victims and the shooters' family don't need a damn camera in their face while they are going through this trauma. The press need to regain some bloody respect for people going through something like this.

To be honest, I think that it SHOULD be illegal, the same as interviewing grief struck people and asking the age old question "How do you feel?"Of course they are going to feel horrible! At 24, a parent is lucky if they have even the slightest influence over a child of theirs. Let them grieve ALONE, or as they see fit.

Sonia in TX - so anyone with a psychiactic issue should be locked up, because they will most certainly become a mass murder? Even if this kid has had some issues, unless he started talking about killing people, what could they have done? If a person has not been deemed to be a threat to himself or others, he can't be unwillingly placed in a mental hospital. I know several people with "mental issues" mostly depression, but that doesn't mean they are potential murderers.

Blame the media, they give notoriety to those that it need it the least...criminals. The make all the people famous that should be hidden in solitary and never thot of again until the death sentence is carried out. Just like the idiots that used to flash at ballgames...they don;t show them and it is decreased, would it be reasonable to say that if the media stopped publicizing these whacko's would it discourage their weird personality trait that seeks notoriety? I know one thing the media is out for ratings and money nothing more, we as the public have no need to know so many little details of horrors like this one, if you do then you are as weird as the culprit.

Justredd64, they give fame and glory AFTER the fact. I have heard people claim so and so did a crime just for the fame and glory it would get him. When you are locked up in solitary, with NO tv or radio, or even newspaper to tell you what is going on, what are YOU gaining from it. The only thing might be some satisfaction in knowing you had done something that you had been planning and plotting for months, or even possibly, years. but you have no idea what the outside world is saying about you.

I feel horrible for these parents. They've lost their child too - they just can't grieve in the same manner as the victims. Very sad situation.

If you take the credit when they do good, then take the blame when they do bad. Their blood is yours, their thoughts are yours with their "spin" on them. Their feelings, actions, reactions, etc are yours with their spin on them. I have empathy for the family and cannot imagine what they are feeling right now but it was their child. Did they cower when he got into graduate school?

You cannot blame the parents for the sons actions. However, you can blame the parents for their reaction to it. Their comments were they felt sorrow for the victims but will stand by their son.

This is insane! Sorrow, really, is that all. This is horrific what their son did and sorrow doesn't begin to cover it. And to stand by their son, is condoning what he has done. There is a point where you do not stand by your children and James Holmes passed that point last Friday night.

Shame on you Mr. & Mrs. Holmes.

Even though he is a murderer doesn't mean he still cant have a family, when they say stand by him that does not mean try to prove his innocence it means they want to stand by there son and figure out if they can help him... you have to understand that is still there son, and im sure none of us can say what we would do if it had your son..

So just think before you type..

In total agreement with you Sam....they are the ones who will make the parents life miserable. Let the system do it's job...let the prosecution do it's job, let God do his job here. The "joker", will have his day in court and he will have justice served. My heart goes out of course to the familes of the victims, and I pray that the Holmes' will find some sort of solance from the other parents who have been thrust into this ugly nightmare.

Hear! Hear!

Agreed. Whole heartedly.

Ditto for me...

Do you think the media would like to see an end to this kind of violence? I think not. The toughest job the network anchors have is to appear saddened and sympathetic when inside they can hardly contain their glee.

Completely agree! The NEWS media is following the parents around, taking pictures. These are not "famous people" who have chosen a profession in the limelight, but had the unfortunate story to have raised a child who is filled with hate & revenge & murderous actions for reason(s) that have yet to be determined. If the parents had been in trouble in the past for abuse or neglect or difficulties with acknowledging school teachers, etc... then the NEWS media would have a story, but they don't. So, the media instead "terrorizes" these parents, just like their son "terrorized" movie goers.

Can't an attorney step in and threaten to sue the media or at a minimum force them to remain at least 1/4 of a mile from their home? Isn't this an invasion of privacy?

I can't imagine the pain and guilt these parents have been FORCED to endure, through no fault of their own, but their sons actions. The media is only exacerbating an already tortuous situation and the MEDIA needs to be held accountable!

This reminds me of the Huberty family after he shot up the McDonalds in San Yisidro south of San Diego. For weeks before the shooting both the shooter and his wife tried to get help from the county for his mental illness because he knew he was losing it. Well county mental health kept putting him off and putting him off until he went off. Then the people here treated his family like crap, blaming them for what he did. Used to be the family moved in a matter of weeks, now it's within days. They leave after the media gets there because life is impossible, then some one shows up to pack up the house then the house is on the market before you know it.

Very well said...thank you.

dlmp, It never occurred to me that the parents and families would be suffering as well until I read the article, which has given me a different perspective, especially when the parents are grieving for the victims and questioning themselves. The event is very sad for everyone directly effected, and for us all.

Your comment helps...compassion is very much needed. Thank you.

He has destroyed his parents lives, his also but his choices did that to himself. But his actions will live on in his parents til they die unfortunately, I feel deeply for them.

Scarborough isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. He wasn't that great a congressman either.

Joe Scarborough has no relevant professional training at all. He isn't qualified to diagnose anything and it was incredibly irresponsible for him to engage in that kind of ignorant guesswork.

The truth is that people with high functioning autism are slightly LESS likely to commit violent crime than other people. In most cases, people with high functioning autism are extremely fair minded, good people that just have a few unusual difficulties, including trouble understanding social relationships.

You have a lot of so called experts out there that seem to post items, to be posting...Just like the guy that did all the shooting he just wanted to get on the TV news, go to prison maybe write a book. Seems the american people like to be seen on the TV News but most of them don't go to such extreams.!!!

Yes, Junicon, exactly my point. He's a lawyer by training so he really ought to know better. These comments only serve to perpetuate stereotypes especially since they come from someone like him, who for whatever reason has a following.

I agree all these so called experts need to shut up . Until they examine and do a mental evaluation on him they just flat out need to shut the hell up. I have been throught the court system with my sons murderer claim extereme emotional distress as a defense for why he shot and killed my son.

The problem I see with this case is that he knows exactly how to act and what to say when they finally do get around to doing the mental evaluations on him. He has a bachelors degreee in Neurosciences and recently wrote a report on mental illnesses and diseases. I will wait to see what they psychologists end up finding from their exams based on this information.

I am not an expert I just know what my son's murderer tried to say and do to convince the psychologists he was mentally ill, so I see it playing out all over again with this guy. I will say this everyone needs to leave his parents alone , they have enough to deal with . They are not responsible for his act,that he did alone.

Whatever - 815315

"We all know right from wrong."

Do We? Society and History are proving you wrong almost everyday. While we may know right from wrong, we don't know (or won't accept) the consequences of doing wrong.

I for one don't believe he is mentally ill ! Just one cowardly bastard ! Give him a trial, then to death !

Even if the parents noticed signs of early sociopathic behavior (typically hurting small animals as a child) what could they have done about it. Sociopaths never learn compassion nor how to communicate with others effectively. The personality is set by around age nine.

Here is the thing Bob (and all others). Very few mentally ill people engage in criminal activity and most of them are for misdemeaners. However some do. Anyone under thirty with a predisposition for Schizohprenia under stress such as grad school can become mentally ill. Drugs can cause some one to develop Paranoid Schizophrenia or Schizophrenia in general. Not enough information known to determine who will and who will not develop schizophrenia.

Some criminals claim to be "conveniently" mentally ill as a defense but the legal system is becoming more stringent about that.

If you look at the video of him in the court room it looked like he was seeing or hearing something that wasn't there. This is referred to as "responding to auditory or visual hallucinations". If that turns out to be the case and he is guilty by reasons of insanity the families of the victems will not experience closure and neither will the community. He won't be hospitalized in a community hospital with a psychiatric unit. He would be put in a forensic unit in a prison.

It depends on the area the person is in. Here in Canada, a schizophrenic man named Vincent Lee beheaded a man on a Grayhound bus a few years ago. He is not in prison, but in a forensic unit in a psychiatric hospital. That forensic unit is just as secure, if not more secure, than a prison. In fact, they actually strengthened the security before he was hospitalized there...

No the parents don't get to be layed off. They raised a monster! Trayvon Martin's parent were call horrible names, even though their son was killed! So no, no sympothy, only more greif for raising a horrible child.

I have to say that anyone that could commit such a crime that is not operating on some political or religious agenda must have some kind of serious mental malfunction.

But if he had discovered a cure for cancer do you think the parent would be sharing that with anyone? No, because it's alway the same thing, blame the bad stuff on movies, Hollywood, video games, etc. But keep all the good stuff close. You people are a bunch of hypocrites, Trayvon Martin's parents were called horrible name even though their son was killed. And yet this a$$hole just get to be "sick. And the parents get grief conselling. THEY RAISED A MONSTER! Eimeim got it right in his song White American.

No, we can't fully place blame on TV, movies, video games, etc. However, multimedia and the media do love to sensationalize and they provide a constant stream of sensory stimulation. It's like a drug. Not just for kids...for everyone. Try taking away people's iPhones, iPads, XBox's or computers & see what happens.

In addition, studies have shown that constant exposure to or being embedded in games with excessive violence tends to numb people's response to it, even in reality.

I'm not saying that we should ban games, TV, movies, etc. However, I don't think their influence can be entirely discounted, especially if you're dealing with a person who is already predisposed to mental illness, sociopathic behavior, or has poor coping skills.

I was raised in a stable Christian family, no drugs, no alcohol, no divorce and before today's Internet and "violent" movies. In short we had all the things people think make for a stable upbringing.

Yet one of the four children turned out bad, sold drugs, stole (even from family), was cruel to animals and seemed to have no sympathy for others suffering. Why? None of the things people blame were present. None of the things people say will be a fix made a difference forty years ago.

The one thing that hasn't changed is blaming the wrong things and "naive fixes" that won't make a difference.

One of the biggest problems we have in this country is YOU!

Bingo...News Media are for profit businesses, They are not some great savior and hero for the publics good, They have agendas and one of them is making money and they do that by ratings, Personally I believe the news media often step over the boundaries that are protected under the 1st amendment, The parent of the man had nothing to do with this other than being related, They have been hounded by the media and even had their statements twisted, What about their rights, Where does it say that the press's rights supercede their right to privacy.

No parent should be subjected to the chaos shown in the picture accompanying this article. Their son was the one who pulled the trigger(s)--not the parents. Sometimes you do all you can do to raise a child right and s/he goes off the deep end.

Well put. Like Forest said "you never know what you're going to get".

A very good point, Cat, as I was raised by genuine and committed Christians yet realized that I was an atheist (and I did not even have the word for it!) around age nine. It's no one's "fault" - I was always opinionated and marched to a different drummer at a young age. My mother told me that as a child she knew she was a Christian and I totally understand what she means to "know" something about oneself so young.

As for Murray O'Hair, I thougth that she was a verbally abusive control freak despite agreeing with her on the separation of church and state. She tried to make her children in her image, and as far as I'm concerned that's as damaging as frightening children with visions of hell.

You know, according to a recent poll, athiests are the most hated among Americans. Worse than most things, maybe even mass murderers. Don't tell people you are athiest. Quietly hang in the shadows of the mainstream religions and you will not become a black sheep amongst "the flock".

"...washed in the blood of the lamb..."???? Is that what Christianity is all about?? Sounds too creepy for me.

"Washed in the blood of the Lamb" is a metaphor for accepting the death of Christ as the price of the redemption of mankind. It's just Biblical language that wasn't creepy at the time and may have sounded better in Hebrew or Greek, but it hasn't aged well.

And, no, that is not what Christianity is all about. There's no way to explain it in seven words, trust me.

St. John probably had the best short answer. In modern language,he wrote, "God is love and anyone who lives in love, lives in God, and God lives in him/her." That's what Christianity is about-we love and are loved unconditionally.

Muse-you'll enjoy this. I was in an English convent with another American. The Mistress Of Novices was convinced that I had no vocation and did everything she could to make me leave. She was convinced that the other American had a wonderful vocation and did her best to retain her. We both left-she because she wanted to and I because I was told that, if I didn't, three other friends of mine would be sent home as punishment for talking to me.

It's over thirty years later. I am still a deeply commited Catholic celibate (since I never married) who teaches catechism classes. The other American is an atheist lesbian married to a woman. Somehow Mother Mistress' gift of discernment, which all novice mistresses were supposed to have to help them guide young women in the right path of their vocations in life, was somewhat lacking in our cases.

Our friendship has lasted longer than our vocations. You never know what life has in store for you.

Bob, I know about the poll - it was conducted at my alma mater, the University of Minnesota! ;-)

And I know about the hatred - I have been the subject of some real online flaming - but that has been the extent of it. Nobody has ever shown up at my house, spit on me or thrown things at me, etc.

Cat - thanks for the story. I am not surprised at all. One of my childhood friends became an Anglican, another a Mormon. I went to a Catholic university for graduate school (earned my Master's in 2010)! It was a wonderful experience.

Back to the topic, I'm really sorry for these parents. People want simplistic answers, but to gang up on them is really reprehensible.

The mother's comment on "the right person," referred to the fact that they had reached her, not that her son had done anything. The media picked up on the comment since they had called her, and put a comma in the wrong place. She woke up to a ringing phone and the media told her what had happened. What a crummy thing to do. There ought to be a law!

My son is mentally ill. I was not a perfect parent, but he was raised in a loving, stable environment. He did well in school and had friends. He was model student, gifted athlete. At age 18, that changed and bipolar raised its head. Because he was an adult, there was nothing we could do UNTIL he was a danger to himself or someone else (what the he$$ kind of criteria is that for seeking help?) After dozens of untreated manic/depressive episodes, the man that I see today bears no resemblance whatsoever to the boy I raised. I will stand by him through whatever comes, as a mother's love is unconditional. But, as one who is there, we need stronger mental health laws and a much more solid safety net for those adults who are mentally ill. It's a disgrace.

Wow, SeattleGirl, that's sad. I have a sister who's had serious drug addiction issues, and she LOVES to blame my parents for all her problems. What a load of CRAP, but I guess it makes her feel better about her stupid choices. Funny, none of the rest of us became addicts. I get so tired of hearing her BS, especially when she's slurring her words so badly I can't understand her anyway -- I've pretty much given up on her and avoid her as much as possible. People DO need to understand that really, there's only so much a parent can do anyway, kids have their own minds and make their own decisions. I'm sure most parents do what they can to keep their kids off drugs but some kids will do them anyway, and they have to pay the price for that. So far my girls have stayed away from drugs; I may have my older sister to thank for that more than anyone else, though. Best of luck to you and your son.

@SeattleGirl - I understand your frustration personally. (I hope you see this.)

My son was a gifted straight A student, athlete, well liked and at 17 - Bipolar reared it's ugly head. All of a sudden this intelligent, kind soul, started cursing at us, would not follow our rules, spent all the money in his bank account, never slept - up for 4 days straight; thought he was the greatest human ever, he rambled on & on about every subject as if he were the expert on all. I sought out his friends to see if they noticed a change in him and they all did, but didn't want to "tell on him". Even their parents, did not want to tell us about his noticeable change in behavior. He was having a euphoric mania - where he was having a great time. Luckily this became very noticeable on a Friday (so he didn't have the chance to curse a teacher out) and carried on through the weekend, by Sunday night we were exhausted with him. I googled his "symptoms" saw bipolar and contacted the local children's mental hospital. After all that description & more they told me the same thing - until he becomes an extreme danger to himself or someone else, they would not take him in immediately & evaluate him; instead we would have to schedule an appt with a doctor for about 3 weeks out. I was like are you kidding me? So, if he does threaten others then you will take him asap?! So, my husband and I let him stay asleep Sunday night after his 4 day bender he was physically exhausted & unable to stay awake - we did not wake him for school on Monday morning & I called the same hospital and stated that he threatened us. I am sure they knew I was lying, but at that point they could not turn us away. We had an evaluation scheduled for 12noon. We woke our son at 10:45, told him to shower, we were taking him somewhere fun to see a friend and he complied. He was diagnosed as bipolar by 12:10 and given medication and held for 3 days to ensure he was on his way back to "normalcy".

I am happy to say, he is doing awesome on his medications ( the fear is as the doctor said they just eventually stop working, with little to no warning). While our son was not a danger to others, he certainly was to himself - driving a car around all hours of the night, thinking he was invincible. Even when we blocked him in, he figured out how to get out by side swiping one of our vehicles and driving through the yard. Yet, we had to lie to get him help.

He is close to being the son he was before - I'd say about 99% - Depakote works well. It is no different than cancer, it is a brain chemical change that can not be controlled, but yet our society does not treat mental illness like the unpreventable disease it is. He could have done nothing any differently, nor could we, but now we must always be on the lookout. We could look back and see that he had become depressed (for him) in the previous spring - and then fall his mania hits.

We have educated him on the importance of taking his medicine, to remain "himself" as it is no different than someone with cancer, diabetes, epilepsy.

I wonder at which point our society will start looking at mental illness for what it is & treating it properly - a brain chemical change that is usually unpreventable (meaning not from drug use, etc...) Something changes and it is beyond the person's control, they are not to be blamed, but helped and parents who reach out should be helped immediately.

*I am not saying the shooter had a mental illness - that has not come out or been determined yet. I just know that many of those who go on rampages do and much of it was preventable with proper treatment.

In your shoes, God Bless.

As the mother of a murdered child. I feel that there is some blame on the parents of the murderes. As in my case the parents of my sons murderer knew that he had been arrested several times on theft and drug charges. His father only took minimal steps to try and secure the weapons in his home. My sons murderer had broken into his fathers home a couple of times . All his father did was put a padlock on his bedroom door, but he did not secure all his guns and ammunition. He was able to take the gun off the floor in his fathers closet , load it with the bullets on the dresser and then put it in the gun case and walk 9 miles to the town where my son lived and shoot him . If his father had locked the gun in his gun safe with the rest of his guns my son would most likely still be alive today.

The parents of murders tend to want to believe then did everything right.Theytend to ignoge the signs that are right in front of them because they don't want to believe that their child could ever do anything like this.

Now having said that, I do not believe they should be harrassed about what their child has done, they are not ultimately responsible for the act that their children carried out. So as the mother of a murdered child I ask the press and others to PLEASE LEAVE THEM ALONE AND LET THEM LIVE THEIR LIVES. They will have to live with this the rest of their lives and that is enough for them to bear.

For parents whose child has been murderedand the friend of these victims as well, there is a naional organization to help support you , Parents of Murdered Children. You can go to www.POMC.org and find the chapter near you. We are a self help group there to help support and be there for you .

Having issues with the messenger is no reason to not search for truth.

I agree.

Addiction; Maybe we should talk about that at some future time.

The ironic thing is the media often knowingly, or unknowingly tells partial truth to bias our reactions. Sometimes they (all media), report untruths as well. I think it's human nature that the responsible ones in the media should make a greater attempt at controlling.

The parents are not blameless here. Trayvon Martin parents were called horrible names, even thougH their son was killed. All parents who children kill deserve the blame. They unleased these animals into society knowing damn well their offspring was damaged goods. THEY RAISED A MONSTER!

Lynne,

Interesting post. I am curious what you think these parents should have done for their grown son who was may or maybe not exhibiting paranoid schizophrenic signs 4 states away. I am not disagreeing with you necessarily rather I am not sure what options they had available for them. What would you have done?

You are assuming he was paranoid schizophrenic. There has been no report to say for sure that he is. You are also assuming that the parents were aware of it. It may not have surfaced until after he moved to Colorado. Since there is not much out there in the way of motive or reason for the incident, and there is nothing in his past to explain this behavior, we will have to wait. In the meantime, everyone's time should be spent praying for all of those left behind in the wake of the tragedy, this including the perpetrators family.

But at this point, there is no evidence that the shooter exhibited any signs of mental illness or had any treatments for something like schizophrenia. We may say things like he "must have been crazy" but that doesn't really mean that he was mentally ill. Jumping to the conclusion that because your son has a certain mental illness that this man must have had the same mental illness is not logical.

He could just as easily have been in possession of all faculties and decided, in cold blood, to make the decision he made to commit his crime. And if the parents did feel that he was not as sympathetic or empathetic as a child or as a human being, without any actions to alarm them (hurting animals or children or strange behavior), there is nothing that would indicate a propensity for this kind of violence. Ditto depression. Huge percentages of Americans are on medication for depression, but very few of them ever become violent in any way.

Depends on where you are .. in my state, you can't get help for them until they are a danger to themselves or someone else. Then, at best, it's a 72 hour hold and court hearing, at which time they have been receiving medication and are beginning a slight improvement ... and they are let go. I have gone through he$$ with and for my son .... and I've begged for help from everywhere I can think of. When your hands are legally tied, you can be effective to a point. I know of another family in this state who fought for years to obtain help for their son .. who ended up murdering several people in a rampage. Believe me, it is not the parents' fault. Our society has failed those with mental illness in a very big way.

True that SeattleGirl. In most states nothing can be done unless they are a danger to themselves or others. Just because a person is mentally ill, it doesn't mean they are stupid, they also know how to work the system so they don't get committed, they can fake it with the best of them.

Not to mention the fact that parents and child weren't even living in the same state at the time!!!

"I will find fault with parents that deny and not take that responsibility for thier child. They endanger all of us."

You are the problem, not them. Are you a trained psychiatrist? Did you examine James Eagan Holmes and come up with your paranoid schizophrenia diagnosis by following the established DSM-IV criteria?

Their "child" was a fully grown 24 year old man living in a different state, far from his parents, and pursuing a PhD in a health care field. By all accounts, his parents did their job in raising him, seeing to it that he got an education, and sending him off in the adult world to make his own way.

By all accounts, they raised someone who outwardly appeared to be a fine young man with a bright future -- until something happened recently and he dropped out of school and started making this horrific plan to become a mass-murderer.

Do you think he told his parents what was going on? Do you think they should've had a sixth sense that something was wrong, that he had dropped out of grad school and was having bizarre and violent thoughts?

Keep your diagnosis and your ignorance to yourself.

Paranoid schizophrenia isn't the same for all patients, doesn't have onset at the same age for all patients, doesn't present the same for all patients. Just because you are the mother of a son with PS doesn't mean you know it all or that your experience is or should be exactly the same for others. So you saw signs... great for you....but what if onset is later, what if the person who has schizophrenia doesn't live at home for parents to observe so closely? Shame on you for blaming the parents without knowing any of the facts.

I have a friend whose adult son (23) is seriously mentally ill. We think he has paranoid schizophrenia, but he hasn't done anything to demonstrate that he is a danger to himself or others so she is powerless..... she can't have him committed, she can't force him to want to get help, she can't force him to get or stay on medications.... so even when a parent observes problems, what exactly do you propose they do? She has tried everything within her power to help him, but if he doesn't want the help he isn't going to get it. Now, if he commits a violent crime on someone, will you blame her?

"Walk a mile in my shoes" Nice to know that we have so many righteous people in this world.

Did you ever forget your keys, did you ignore paying a bill on time, did you ignore the best..... There were times you ignored, put off, forgot with your own child. Righteouness is always something people like to have, but really its just junk along with all the other pontifications. This person needs to be studied deeply to learn how he interpreted his world around him and why. Your own son has PS and where do you think he got it? Should we blame you that you failed in some way. No, there isn't a room for blaming that makes things worse. We are so much into blame and punishment we have given up on learning and understanding and looking for the causes. The causes aren't only in the biochemcal, or gentics, it's in the learning and we as parents need to study how we communicate to our kids. But we don't learn that in any class, we only learn some generic ways we are told you should do. It is simply wrong to blame and condemn. Learning and understanding the causes should be our goal. But, that takes guts from parents because it may be as simple as parent's being righteous that led to a childs distorted thinking

Best. Comment. Ever.

Agreed. As a parent of a child who has endured and survived a couple of brain surgeries I see clearly how the mental health aspect of his care falls entirely on my shoulders. If they can't 'see' a problem they simply don't address it. And no one is looking. I am fortunate to have made his mental health a priority, but not everyone can do that.

"THE PARENTS!!!" Society is by far more to blame than the Parents.

Society has some control. The parents had almost no control even while their

children are minors. Society has usurped parental control. GOOD LUCK SOCIETY

My heart goes out to the Holmes family. I cannot imagine the grief and confusion resulting from this heinous act by a member of their family. But they are not to blame. The media, in their drive to get a sensational story out of this, continue to trample on the rights of the public. These folks did nothing wrong. Their son made the decision to do what he did without considering the consequences. He deserves the punishment for what he did, but do not punish the family for something over which they had no control. SHAME ON THE MEDIA for camping outside their home. Leave them alone to grieve in private!

Some of these illnesses don't manifest themselves until early adulthood either. If their child was "normal" all of their life while living at home then during or after college started behaving a little "off", parents might not see it as quickly if their adult child is now on their own.