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A spate of bizarre acts of cannibalism in the last week have many people wondering whether to be afraid for their own flesh. The populous' collective curiosity has even driven "zombie apocalypse" up to the No. 2 spot on Google's list of trending search terms. But don't worry: according to government scientists, the zombies are not coming for you.
The flesh-eating living dead don't actually exist, said a spokesman for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)," agency spokesman David Daigle told The Huffington Post. The CDC has even put out advisories on the zombie theme.
But what prompted the official reassurance?
The questions started after an attack in Miami on Saturday, when Rudy Eugene, 31, was shot and killed by police while hungrily devouring the face of a homeless man. Eugene, who may have been high on " bath salts " at the time of his vicious attack, seemed impervious to the bullets entering his naked body until the moment he collapsed, police said.
Then, on Tuesday, Alexander Kinyua, a 21-year-old student in Maryland, admitted to murdering his roommate and then eating his heart and parts of his brain. The cannibal's motives have not been explained. [Video: '5 Things I Learned from Living with Cannibals]
Meanwhile, Canadian police are seeking Luka Rocco Magnotta, a low-budget porn actor who allegedly killed and dismembered a young man, and then ate flesh from the corpse. He packaged and mailed other body parts to political offices in Ottawa.
Okay, zombies may not really exist, but clearly the world has troubles enough as it is.
- 15 Weird Things Humans Do Every Day, and Why
- Eat the Old: Could Mass Cannibalism Solve a Future Food Shortage?
- How Do 'Bath Salts' Drive People Crazy?
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Zombie Apocalypse! Gotta say...LOVING IT!
are you prepared for it? *loads oozie*
It's Uzi.....lol
You're welcome.
It's really starting to look a bit crazy out there. This Doctor at claims it is all real at
JD-2506501
No, I've seen the movies, zombies are filled with "oozie".
With all the Uzis making Ooozies, I'll need a stiff shot of Ouzo!
All this oozie talk is making me woozie!
Two words: Cordyceps Fungus.
So with the advances of modern science, why are they still theorizing on what may or may not have caused Eugene to eat that dudes face?
How long does it take to get results from an autopsy?
They need to get on it, as it is getting really old hearing a different person in every articles opinion as to what caused it.
cocaine overdose
a "stronger lsd"
bath salts
pcp
meth
maybe he just went nuts
Loads oozie?
Sounds like a nasty STD.
If they're looking for brains, chances are they'll steer clear of Congress.
The CDC is in Denial that's all. Or their working with the umbrella corp. to cover it all up. lol
LOL as of a couple of days ago the CDC actually had a protocol for a zombie outbreak. If you try to find it now you get the 404 not found error. Coincidence, coverup, or do I need another layer of tinfoil? :)
No, zombies ARE real! They're the ones who still think Obama is doing a good job!
Yes machine head, you are right. They have been on the dole so long, they are unable to think for themselves anymore. Or are afraid too.
Amused, the CDC used the zombie outbreak "protocol" to help outline and demonstrate emergency preparedness. It wasn't real. Considering they are trying to reassure people the Zombie Apocalypse is not actually occurring, it is not surprising they removed it.
WMG-21, the Cordyceps Fungus can not, in its natural state, infect humans.
Another layer of tinfoil. :-)
Zombies don't exist says the CDC, like the government never lies. We see zombies and the news reports zombie attacks and witnesses have seen zombies. I suppose there's no UFO's and aliens also. All I know is if someone suspicious comes towards me, I'm shooting. It's better to be judged by 12 than eaten by many.
dirtydog200 The gov't lies to us?
Someone on here believes everything that comes out of the National Enquirer apparently. Of course, Elvis is alive, as is Jack Kennedy and a host of others, flying saucers come in and abduct people every day, and the Virgin Mary is on many a bathroom wall, along with her Son, Jesus. Get a life, people, and read something that actually makes sense for a change.
They said 'virus or condition', not fungus. Well, that's what the lawyers will say after the scientists play around with Cordyceps enough to make it work on humans.
Survival Rule #1: Cardio - the fatties are always the first to go.
Survival Rule #2: The Double Tap - always make sure.
Survival Rule #3: Beware of Bathrooms - zombies love hiding in them.
Time to nut up or shut up.
how irrational can you get? the cannibals in these examples were living breathing humans, not zombies. haha this is too much
@truthhurtsattimes
We don't know that on the Miami zombie. Multiple shots to take down and he didn't even stop eating the first shot. There's your zombie. Then again, the homeless dude is still alive... probably voodoo zombie then.
ROFLMAO!!!! Believe the CDC ? Say, like the millions who got vaccinated for the disease of the year? Swine flu, Bird Flu, Super Flu and this years Favorite Whooping Cough ? Are you kidding? I'd rather prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse. Believe the CDC.... NOW THATS FUNNY!
Whooping Cough is very real and killing kids. Not something I find funny.
That's how ALLLLLL the zombie apocalypse movies start. Don't trust the CDC. I dunno about you but I'm stalking up on my survival gear. I'm surviving this apocalypse.
machinehead
Tom been both
Just like so many other zombies have been swallowing what Limbaugh & Co (Palin, Cheney, Bush, Boehner, McCain, Gingrich, etc, etc, etc - and of course, Limbaugh) tell them for so long THEY are no longer able to think for themselves.
Yep, it's the fault of only one person. Sure it is.
you do not need to be dead to be a zombie nor eat brains, this is not hollywood. for the CDC to say there is nothing that can exhibit zombie like appearance, they are wrong and either they are too stupid to do their job or they are lying. there are quite a few things that can exhibit zombie like behavior but the likelihood a human would contact any of those things is extremely rare and afaik never happened before, but they do exist, just for example there is a parasite that can attach to a bee and create a zombie like effect, flesh eating disease causes you to exhibit zombie like appearance. if that parasite attaches to a human with a flesh eating bacteria then yo have yourself a full on zombie.
if the first thing any government agency says is 'everything is alright' you know things are not.
Looks around for Alice?
What a gal!
Goes off to sharpen machete.......... loads 12 guage..............
The CDC is lying. I've witnessed the coming zombie apocalypse myself. During Memorial Day, my neighbors had a barbeque. As guests just started "disappearing," more and more meat ended up on the grill. I know zombies prefer it raw, but there are a few who prefer it not being tartar. Yes, there are some very refined zombies out there. They look down on the majority of typical zombies who attack in a pack and start gnawing on the flesh and organs of screaming victims. They prefer a cianti with a properly prepared dish of human brains.
The CDC is hiding what they know to be fact from the people of America, in order to prevent mass hysteria. The truth is, the zombie apocalypse has already begun. It may not be a virus causing it, but the FDA has been allowing God knows what into the market in forms of food additives and "medications". Who's to say that the FDA isn't responsible for this? Our government has lied to us in the past, why believe them now?
Well, I sure am prepared for the zombie apocalypse...3 months worth of ammo and food....Yup...
Am I serious? Of course not. Everyone knows the world is going to end December 21st. :p
Remember, a direct blow to the head to destory what's left of the brain is what works. That goes for zombies, politicians and CEO's - not much of a difference between any of them.
@Misscreant
I am aware that Cordyceps is a parasitic fungus that targets insects-- but things are evolving all the time...
"things" are also bio-engineered....usually to be used as weapons against our "enemies", but its always possible that something is leaked, either accidentally or not, then we're all screwed......I worked in a primate lab for over two years and in our training we were told that it is only a matter of time before a virus like ebola or any of the other myriad of infections breakout into the population, we had blood tests every 6 months and were instructed that if anyone tested positive for certain infections we would not be allowed to leave the facility and should call our families to say goodbye.
I don't know. The fact that the CDC addressed it makes me more worried about the upcoming z-day
A little advice: The homeless in Miami are really spicy, bring a few Tums!!
You'd have to be high to be eating on some guy that probably smelled like balls and ass...
Thanks doyour.....Classic retort - Not often I get a chuckle out of posts.
OMG I just spewed my coffee all over the place DoYour....you owe me a new keyboard.
Lol doyourhomework,America!.. I laughed hard enough to tear up..
I had the same thought as another poster posted already.. Why the hell would the CDC even make a comment like this, if there is nothing to be worried about.. It's almost like telling someone don't look, they will almost always look at what you don't want them to look at..
Zombies don't exist???? Oh yeah???? Then explain my wife in bed!!!
Bull, LMAO
bull ,think mine is one too
Doyour - I thought it was voodoo that made the guy eat someone who smelled like balls and ass...
There is never any truth to it until the government officially denies it. And I thought my friend was silly for spending extra money on Zombie rounds (bullets).
Well .........I feel so much better now.......it is a relief to know that zombies aren't real. I was extremely worried that the little old lady next door was about to attack, so worried that I didn't leave my house for days.......until this article that is. Wait........I think I hear something at the door.....I'll be right back.........aaaaagggghhhhh. (guess I was right and they were wrong)
'.....BRAINS..........MMMMMMMM..........'
'.....STILL HUNGRY............'
Freedom eroding away
Hmmm... Perhaps you better stop listening to that radio in Boehner's head then -- it's been eating away at HIS brains, too.
Send...... more........ paramedics.
I reload, I found the best Zombie round is a 357 Magnum loaded with 148 grain hollow based wad-cutters inverted this makes a really big hollow point then with about 3-1/2 to 4 grains of Bullseye power. Expands to the size of a quarter. Great penetration and good control.
Watch them swim upstream as they try to ban bath salt after bath salt.
I think its just time to legalize Meth, and end the War on Drugs.
the average person cannot handle meth. Legalizing meth would be insanely stupid, unless you want all the users to die off, long after stealing everyone else's sh*t...
Definitely end the war on drugs, but you must be on meth if you think it would be smart to legalize it.
With formulas constantly changing, which combinations do you proposed to make legit? Even if meth was legal, devotees would still kill and steal to get it. Legal does not equal handing it out for free. So far today you have won the award for most stupid comment. Considering the number of hours 'til midnight, you had better be working on something even more ridiculous or you won't wear that crown for long.
Gary Rose
Why? So you can openly do meth -- instead of having to hide it in your mother's basement? Drugs such as meth do not harm only the "user", they harm the FAMILY of the "user", too.
no, meth does no harm to anyone but the user, why you ask? because its the user who is doing the meth not anyone else. if someone feels differently about you doing meth then that is their problem not the users and if the meth user committed a crime while on meth then they should face same punishment as a non meth user who committed same crime. meth does not commit the crime, the human does, so why do we punish meth more than the user or dealer?
no government in this country has any authority to tell a free-citizen that they cannot consume something, the government can advise you not to and they could ban the manufacture and distribution if it was a deemed harmful to the populace as a whole (epidemic) but they cannot tell any free person what they can or cannot put in their bodies, the government does not own us and have no control over our personal choices, anything other is considered slavery by definition.
doyour- I doubt the average person would even TRY meth. I know I sure as hell wouldn't. The fact that it's illegal has NOTHING to do with me not trying meth, or heroin for that matter.
Lol. Who would ever have thought that a news headline would actually be a reassurance that zombies weren't coming...lol. I agree with Turbo, though. It is a bit disturbing that the CDC addressed it, but I guess better safe than de-brained, right?
Dang! And I spent all morning working on that flamethrower fueled with hairspray . . .
Careful when the flaming zombies approach you and cause proximity burns. It takes a good amount of time for the flames to erode all the flesh and make it to the spinal cord to incapacitate the zombie.
Incendiary bullets, or explosive tipped style. Rifle type. Perfect for reaching out and touching zombies from a distance.
But as has been posted before there is no known virus or plague or bacteria that can reanimate a dead corpse. Basic Physiology and Anatomy class has all you need to know about how the body functions (and how quickly the brain actually turns to mush after death). As well as the impossibility of humans to reanimate post-mortem. But you go ahead and stock up on those zombie survival supplies anyway. At least you'll be ready for Dec. 21'st, but that's another discussion.
why do we need to reanimate corpses for them to be zombies? you watch too many hollywood movies and yes there are things that can exhibit zombie like appearance and behavior, we are not the only thing on this earth and we barely know anything to make such a statement as you did.
mix flesh eating bacteria with fly parasites and you got yourself a zombie
If these zombies are only eating brains, you Faux News & Rush Bimbo listeners are safe.
What a dumb comment....Obama has brains? They'd starve!
What is even more dumb would be a ham-handed segue from a comment about a "news" channel to the President of the Unted States.
With respect to Rush and the fauxbots, I've never heard of zombies bothering to eat each other.
I say let the zombies eat everyone in DC and starve to death. Then we can pick an open place say in Kansas for the nation's capitol and start again with brain possessing people.
Well it didn't take long for some mindless liberal Democrats to act like children, did it? Well, that's what liberal Democrats are: mindless emotion driven children in adult bodies.
We just had a HORRENDOUS jobs report come out and you bed wetters are whining about Rush and Fox News. Time to come in from the sandbox, children.
Childish, 10tacle? Says the guy who gets defensive and starts hurling infantile insults? Truly, you are the bigger person.
Hey kid - always I dish back what was dished out...and then some. This nation has much bigger issues to address under three and a half years of a failed president who was elected by the liberal media and who continues to be shielded them. Don't like it? Go pound sand. Liberal.
Yeah how about all those "shovel ready jobs" and "green energy" jobs there, eh ace?
Yeah, Obama is a failure but Bush more than helped sending us down those tubes. Like your socialist conservative friends would do any better. All politicians are idiots. Socialist.
@10tacle, I'm still waiting for all the jobs the job creators were supposed to create when they got an extension of their creative tax credits.
On the otherhand, when the zombies attack, perhaps they can reduce the unemployment rate by a few points. I've always followed the motto of feeding the homeless to the hungry, but maybe the zombie route would work too.
10tacle obviously ignored the infantile political comment from his bubba-buddies "machinehead" and "Tom been Both" way back in the first thread................
yeah if you think the dems are any better than the repubs then you are a party sheep. obama has zero experience in any economic sector and was voted solely based on his lies and color of his skin (and he wasnt bush) and bush was never a real conservative but most likely a fill-in progressive who advanced the erosion of this country, obama is continuing it.
its all too easy to lie to the american public, even with the internet its never been easier.
For starters I just want to clarify that I am not saying Zombies exist. With that said I must then ask, even IF they did exist and a Zombie apocalypse was coming, do you REALLY think the government would tell people? I think not, what better way to cause mass panic. No, they would hide in their bunkers and leave the rest of us to fend for ourselves. Just saying...
I salute your optimism for thinking they could tell the difference between brain dead or not.
I think we all watch to many movies!
well try explaining that to the guy in Miami who had half his face eaten!
Bevo4, I'm happy to tell you you're safe... no zombie will find any brains in your head and it sure won't develop a taste for that face!
cannibals ARE NOT zombies.
crazy or drugged ou m-f*ckers ARE NOT zombies.
Does any zombie flick fan really believe that it's possible to die and come back undead?
Wanna buy some "magic" beans?
well hate to tell ya but there is 'something' that can reanimate dead cells but dont get too scared ^^.
Yeah, since there's no such thing as a zombie in the first place.
Voodoo zombie exist. Of course, they're just brain damaged people but they still count.
I know a person who believes this so much he is ready to move to an island somewhere. LOL. Wow.
Hell, if I had money, I'd move to an island just because I'm sick of this s--t everywhere else. And because it's always been a dream of mine. But only if they have high-speed internet access, which they usually don't (that's a deal breaker). Ahh, dreams!
Megidoloan, you can have high speed internet on an island as long as you have electricity to power your house and computer. Most of the satellite services work fairly well until you get too far out from the continental US, and even then you can sometimes get lucky and find a stationary bird to shoot. If you have some island in particular in mind, google satellite internet and talk to some of the people you will find listed. At least then you will know and not just be guessing/
Zombies are real. They're out there. In politics, Wall Street, call centers, servers, your next door neighbor. They're real, they exist, they live among us. C-Span, Food Network, PBS. They're reading this.
Uh... What do you expect the government to say?
The government lies all the time.
ZombieTools.net ... be prepared.
Time to buy a ray gun
No, Thundergun and a Galil.
Given the government's track record, a bet against their findings would be a winning one! The CDC and FDA are more often wrong than they are right! I would be watching out for zombies if I were you! LOL!
What is really scary is the fact that a reporter acually asked the CDC if a virus is out there that would re-animate the dead.
And that the CDC actually bothered to respond...
And spent my tax dollars on it. Some people will do anything to justify the existence of their employment.
Yep, and they're known as POLITICIANS.
1st zombie speaking to 2nd zombie while eating a clown:
"Does this taste funny to you"??
Second Zombie answers, mouth full
'Don't know, I'm eating a rich kid and it tastes spoiled'
Second Zombie, mouth still full, says
he tastes like he smells - a** and ba**s.
Wouldn't the CDC have a helluva lot more credibility on this issue if they hadn't already played it for yucks? Maybe it's time for the grownups to act like grownups.
No, no, no. I got a guy in one of my classes who is serious about zombies. He's buying storage food, solar panels, digging a bunker, buying weapons, and spreading the word of "Zombie". It's all he talks about. He's 28, and got more piercings than a pin-cushion. He swears they are real and that I should prepare for the worst. Not for a meteor to fall from the sky, economic collapse, famine, invading armies, nuclear war, global warming, earthquakes, the power grid failure, or a pandemic disease; but for zombies.
They do walk among us and I'm not talking about zombies.
I'm now very curious Bob; what classes DOES a paranoid Zombie Apocalypse pin cushion take for his education? I'm doubting he majors in theology...
K. Truant
You can stop doubting -- there are plenty of preachers and ministers who have "proof" that zombies are real. They usually spew their nonsense in the form of a televised "Worship Service".....
Legalize drugs!? Really? So you think the world would be a better, safer place if even more people, with limitless access to mind-altering drugs, were all over the place causing a threat to society everywhere they went? Incredible. That would be the end of a "peaceful" society as we know it.
Mama Bear, I suspect that you are right but after a short period of time there would be a lot less addicts and a lot more gun owners. I am not trying to be funny here. There are a lot of crimes prevented by keeping drugs as under control as they are. People say that if you legalize drugs you would reduce the number of people in prison but having had the dubious pleasure of knowing a few people with drug arrests I can only say that if they hadn't been arrested for illegal drugs it would have been for doing something violent. I don't know maybe somewhere out there a better class of drug user exists but I have yet to meet them. I've also yet to meet anyone with a drug problem that wasn't a drain on society financially. End result would be a more polarized society and a group of armed people who take the law into their own hands because they are afraid of the wasted element.
If drugs were legalized do you not think there would be certain regulations in place making people have to show ID for age? Unlike it is now where even a child with enough money can buy them and use them because we all know drug dealers do not care how young the person is buying them. Also I think gangs would have a lot less to fight about. I am kinda tired of all the drug related gang shootings. The war on drugs makes it a lot harder for people with drug problems to get the help they need. Shaming people over a problem does not solve the problem just think if what ever illness you have could cause you to be put into prison. What if insulin was declared illegal?l Do you think people would start selling it on the black market? Of course they would. How do you think diabetics would feel if they were all declared criminals. I think they would start playing the part don't you? I think people need drugs or they would not take the risk to get them. They are in some kind of pain. When they find something that relives it they want to keep using it.
The secret here being not just to legalize and leave it up to the individual to decide, but to put some regulations in place as to who could buy, and when, much as alcohol is controlled, Of course it would be taxed, but you would still probably have a higher quality product for less money, and the government would be spending far less on the "Drug Wars."
You mean like how you have to show a valid ID to buy intoxicating beverages (beer, ouzo, vodka, etc, etc, etc)? Yeah, that's been keeping THOSE drugs out of the hands of children....NOT.
Yes, beer, etc are drugs. Anything that you can ingest and can cause loss of inhibitions, hallucinations, blackouts, memory loss, loss of balance, etc, etc, etc, etc is a drug.
You mean like all the crime that ISN'T HAPPENING in countries where drugs have been legalized or decriminalized?
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1893946,00.html
It's been shown over and over again that when you decriminalize something, the 'glam' factor goes away- people don't do it as much because it's not as exciting anymore. That's why generally you'll find quite a few people who pretty much quit drinking after turning 21...
Of course, that won't change any minds already made up due to ignorance, but hey it's a free country and if people get to make and keep opinions based on ignorance, I can make and keep mine based on evidence and facts.
Better have a Zombie Contingency plan ready than be a snack for the reanimated flesh freaks. Double tap is good advice as well as cardio training. I'll drive west to Bill Murrays mansion where I will wait it out with some hot starlets. Watch Zombieland for good advice.
Double Tap!
Why wouldn't there be zombies at Bill Murray's mansion? There got to be dead people around there, too. Some of them may be hot; you could get your necrophilia swerve on while you are there.
Bob, lower your standards and watch 'Zombieland', $ 5 at Wally-world.
Double-Tap
Just hit 'em in the right place with the first shot. Why be wasteful with the ammo?
Well dammit no Walking Dead. (I love the show, but could somebody PLEASE explain to me why, when EVERY scene that takes place in a city is littered w/ military hardware, they're not all driving HUMVEE's w/ Bushmasters, and Pirrhana's w/ Flechette rounds up the pipes by now? Instead of Winnebagos? Abrhams are tempting, of course, but they're just too high-maintenence.)
No, what we're looking at here is the Surrey Down Scenario, one of the classic experiments from the 50's where profound overpopulation of a controlled culture, (rabbits in the UK, lab rats in the US) demonstrated over and over that any and every psycho- and sociopathology would become rampant, that, in the spirit of this article, the populace would literally eat each other just for room to breathe.
We recently passed the 7 Billion mark, with magazine covers like it's an actual accomplishment, and the media making big whoops about whether India or China would make it the fastest to 8 w/in about 17 years, and we're all still wondering why the world's getting crazier by the minute? Hello?
No, the zombies would be outnumbered. There are more people alive today than have ever been alive in the past.
are you sure that those around you have not already passed into the nether world? Sure does seem to be alot of empty heads around to prove my point.
They are just waiting till we are off guard
Double layer foil - check
Zombie loads - check
note at top of stairs 'Mom, don't open the basement door' - check
Lift off.............
But the only thing that outnumbers the living are- The Walking Dead!!!!!!!!! MUAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's see- got my 12 Gauge, AR-15, sword, war axe, tons of ammo, and a stock of inflatable emergency brains.
I don't have a shelter or food stocks, but I'm lazy.
No shelter?? What are you gonna do, live in a dumpster? After all, a house is just too unsecure- even a non-zombie can get into it.
Send me your address, I can fabricate. I'll build you an underground bunker. It will only cost you $680,000. Don't have it? We can bury a big pipe with a hole in the side for half that. You need protection from zombies and it will only cost you your life savings, now and future savings.
If you look at the side effects of consuming bath salts, you'd see some very odd, zombie-like symptoms. It seems possible that the drug can be synthesized and thus, weaponized. A dirty bomb planted with that stuff can affect a widespread area and, rather than kill a bunch of people, you induce zombie-like behavior, which in todays day and age, seems like it would incite more fear globally than a mass homicide, sadly.
Why is rabies for human's so unbelievable.
sounds like zombies to me