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The more attractive a man finds a woman, the better he thinks his chances are, according to the inexplicable findings of a new study.
Consider Howard Wolowitz and Rajesh Koothrappali.
They may be fictional characters on a popular sitcom, "The Big Bang Theory," but new research suggests there’s a lot of truth in how they interact with women.
Wolowitz is a teeny guy with dorky hair and dorky clothes. He’s brilliant and gainfully employed, but on the attractiveness scale, he’s maybe a 2, possibly a 2 ½. Despite his physical shortcomings, though, he imagines every hot woman who glances his way wants to jump his bones. Of course, he’s always wrong.
Then there’s his buddy Raj, a pretty nice-looking guy once you get past his haircut. But he’s so insecure around women he can’t even talk to them unless he’s drunk.
What’s the deal?
There are "tons" of studies that show men think women are interested when they’re not, says lead author Carin Perilloux, a visiting professor at Williams College. But her study, which will be published in an upcoming issue of Psychological Science, found that not all men do. And surprisingly, it appears that the dorky, less attractive guys are more likely to think they’re babe magnets than their more attractive counterparts.
Perilloux was an unattached graduate student at the University of Texas when she decided to look into how men perceive women’s level of sexual interest and vice versa. She and her coauthors enlisted the help of about 200 straight undergrads, split evenly between the sexes, with an average age just shy of 19.
The researchers asked each of their subjects to rate their own attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 7. The students then had three-minute one-on-one conversations with five members of the opposite sex, a setup the scientists describe as "speed meeting." (The goal wasn’t to get a date, because some of the participants already were involved with people outside the study.) After each conversation, they rated the other person’s attractiveness and sexual interest.
The more attractive the woman was to the guy, the more likely he was to overestimate her interest in him, researchers found. And it turns out, the less attractive men (who believed they were better looking than the women rated them) were more likely to think beautiful women were hot for them. But the more attractive guys tended to have a more realistic assessment.
And the women? Perilloux and her coauthors found that women underestimated men’s sexual interest.
Believe it or not, this all probably makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, the scientists say. Attractiveness is linked to fertility, so if guys keep hitting on hot women, they’re bound to score occasionally and father sons who act the same way. Those attractive men don’t have to try as hard. As for the women, their underestimation of guys’ sexual interest might help prevent them from developing a reputation as a slut
Of course, if men and women were more explicit about their level of interest, they wouldn’t be so confused, Perilloux points out. But it’s unlikely either sex is going to use the line "hey, I’m 75 percent interested in you."
So here’s Perilloux’s tips: "For men, the best piece of advice is to be more cautious if you’re interested in someone." For women, she says, save the flirting for guys you actually are interested in sleeping with. "Men seem to take any flirtatious signal and run with it."
Readers, this is basically the plot of some of the most frustrating rom-coms over the years. Which cinematic pairing did you find most unbelievable? Will Ferrell and Zooey Deschanel in "Elf"? Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl in "Knocked Up"? Tell us on our Facebook page.
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I prefer someone that's cool...Over someones thats hot...
Ha ha, now that's what ANY woman SHOULD want: A genuinely nice guy with a delightful sense of humor.
Thats a good blend for me, a guy wanting a women too. Why is it that the really good looking women think they can take advantage of a average to good looking guy? Then the less attractive ladies will try and do everything for the guy, which gets old too. Then the ones with the average looks and brains are usually the coolest, they're the ones that are genuinely nice and delightful.
No doubt. Where are they hiding?
My two main criterias were sense of humor and a love of sports!
Well I'm giving myself another 3 years to find an awesome hot wife, and then turning it over to E harmony b*tches!
Chances of what? spell it out for me.
Anyways my research has found that most women look like sisters when there feet are in the air. ;-)
As for keepers, if she has a job that is a plus mine did and has worked on and off though out our marriage and i enjoy hanging out with her she is truly my best friend.
Now..... how does the "hazard" of being seen as "slutty" fit into the evolutionary comparison??? It seems to be a contradiction....... I'm pretty sure Australopithecus greatly appreciated the Slut Factor.....
Actually, it fits quite nicely into some evolutionary theories. If the goal was simply reproducing, then, no, it would not matter. However, with early hominids up until ourselves, the level of resources needed to nurture the completely helpless and dependent infant exceeds the ability of one parents to do on their own and still provide enough for their own survival (we're talking hunter/gatherer culture here, not modern suburban/urban single). It was necessary to obtain the cooperation of other adults to provide food and protection. Evolutionarily, the best way to obtain this cooperation was through mutual best interest -- having the father, who also had a stake in the survival of his genetic offspring, do his part. If the female was "slutty" and did the mating dance with multiple partners, there would be no way to know who the father was and a lesser chance of procuring the assistance of any male in ensuring the infant's survival. This was long before paternity tests. In the interest of one's own genes, why would an early human ancestor aid in the survival of another male's offspring? Of course, this is not the only evolutionary theory out there, but it is one.
I'm pretty sure Australopithecus greatly appreciated the Slut Factor.....
I'm going to see how many times I can slip that quote into my conversations at work today. Priceless!
My pleasure.....
@saddened ... You honestly think early hominids had notions of paternity? I'd be pretty surprised if they saw any direct connection between copulation and gestation. Seriously the notion that evolution has anything to do with the reduced self image of young women is ludicrous. I'd venture the fact that the young woman in the sampling underestimated their own attractiveness was based primarily on the fact that without the influence of his male friends to make him adopt a facade of selectiveness to a 19-year-old male pretty much any girl will do.
Jersey Bob, I'm totally impressed with the fact that you can even SPELL that person's name!
Sorry, but that's not anything like the current accepted (based on evidence) theory of our ancestors at all. Hunter/gatherers had no way to know the paternity of individual children... how could they? They were busy having sexual intercourse with many males just like Bonobo's today (not to mention scores of current and historical human societies that are highly sexual and non-monogamous).
Keep in mind that America is one of the most sexually restricted societies on the planet and our ideas of monogamy and sexuality are quite radical compared to many. In hunter/gatherer groups SHARING is the rule - not exclusivity. See, it doesn't matter if you focus your resources on YOUR offspring in that kind of social group - what is important is that the group survives to increase the chances that ALL offspring survive. If to many in the group die the entire tribe may die. In those groups no one really knows the father - so all males pool resources knowing that the chances are that some of the offspring are theirs genetically. This can still be seen in many cultures today...
Macin,
I don't know who you are talking about, but everyone has their own ideas. When I was a teenager I had a manager who told all of us guys that he used to hook up with fat chicks and get some while his friends were sitting at home. He would say, "p*ss* is p*ss* but some is just better than others." I guess it is true, but not every 19 year old male will screw any girl.
I always got girls (cute girl nextdoor to hot) because that is who I went after and didn't even attempt fat girls or girls I didn't think were pretty. I used to joke that I could start a modeling agency. I wouldn't hook up with anything that moves. I guess it just boils down to how horny someone is. Thankfully there was always another pretty girl around the corner.
Leprechaun1230,
Australopithecus was a genus of hominids, not a person.
Now I'm not sure about how the hazard of being slutty fits into the equation, but I can tell you this much, I do like them slutty in the bedroom. Now in my dating expierences, it was usually the real quiet ones (usually a pinch above average looks) that ended up being a pinch slutty in the bedroom. I liked that and I actually started looking for real quiet women, to ones being on the shy side a little, when I was going out. Now another thing about the quiet/shy ones, I can't say I ever had more fun in the bedroom, but when I took them to their car or home, they had to tell me that they didn't know if weather they should feel slutty or as some called it, dirty, after the night they spent with me in the bedroom or sometimes even all over the house, but they didn't. That happened to me a few times. So I always wanted to try and comfort them and say that I didn't understand why they would feel slutty or dirty after such a beautiful night we spent together, I would call it a harmony between the two of us that allowed us to spend the night together as one. But I tell you what, it was slutty, but nice. I love them like that. I would love to have a women with a sexual appitite like that on a full time basis but I think it all happened to fast for us and then they felt slutty and didn't think I cared for them as a person. They came over a few more times for fun and games but then they dumped me?
I've rarely thought a girl was into me for my looks unless she told me so. However, if you're not doing anything else, why NOT hit on the hottie? As long as you're not a jerk about it, you'll never know unless you TRY! Though you should also be realistic and hit on the gals more your speed too. They don't call it "Getting lucky" for nothing!
Why not approach the "hottie" as the human being that she is,talk with her and find out whether the two of you have anything in common,then decide whether to pursue it any further?
@kcstrawberryblonde: Whaa?!?!??? You mean women are *gulp* people too? That's just downright ludicrous.
Haven't you seen 'Something about Mary'? Men don't think like women until you get rid of all the baby juice that clouds our minds...
Wish I could say I'm joking but there really is something to it, most guys wander around in a halfway ready to go state all day long and interpret pretty much everything all day long on the sex criteria.
Yeah, why not approach the "hottie" simply because she's a "hottie" with no consideration for what kind of human being she is. Then, when she turns out to be shallow and interested in your paycheck, you can gripe and moan about how she's a shallow gold digger! How DARE she be shallow, only you are allowed to use shallow criteria. Just sayin.
True but most men are zombies more or less when it comes to sex, the little head shuts off the core parts of the bigger one.
If you're trying to get a girlfriend, then the best route is obviously to get to know the girl first. But if you're just looking to get laid, then you probably won't have a whole lot of time before the night ends.
Well Liz if my ex wasn't shallow then she was a thief. She came from a band of thieves, the whole family, thieves. Disgusting. Oh well live and learn. The bad part about it all, she wasn't a model good looking, but cute and she was on the quiet shy side, just like I like them, because they were the hot ones in the bedroom. But she thought she was more beautiful then she really was and thus thats why I didn't have a checkbook when she was done.
This isn't quite the journalism I expect for a major news organization. "slut," "sleep with," and references to minor characters of a sitcom? As a reader of the BBC and the New York Times, this is highly disappointing. Good journalism really is a dying art.
Geez, lighten up Mr. HighandMighty! It's legitimate anthropology interpreted for the general reader of this web site.
See I didn't read up on any of this stuff, but from my expierences with women I figured God was looking out for all of them in one way or another. In most cases the good looking ones didn't get much of a brain, but they usually ended up with a sucessful guy, so the brain part was covered for them and then the less attractive ladies were usually smart as all heck and well they didn't need anybody, they did well enough on their own, but I guess, you know, like everyone else they need some lovin too. Then the women right down the middle with looks were also pretty much right down the middle with brains too. The best part, the right down the middle ones, we're usually the most fun. But I have to tell you, I pretty much enjoyed each and everyone that I spent time with. The weekends almost here, don't forget to stock up on the whipped cream. Have fun
Actually, I think both sexes make the simple mistake of assuming that the other side thinks the same way THEY do. So guys think that hot chicks are just as interested in sleeping with THEM as THEY are in the hot chicks; and women who aren't interested in sleeping with a guy mistakenly think that the guy isn't that interested in sleeping with THEM. Reality check, people.
And once they both decide they find each other attractive, they run into the next issue: Guys fall in love with a girl for who she is now, and hope she will never change. Girls fall in love with a guy for who he could become, hoping he will change until he becomes that person.
"Guys fall in love with a girl for who she is now, and hope she will never change. Girls fall in love with a guy for who he could become, hoping he will change until he becomes that person."
This is probably the best comment I've read here. It's true even from my own experiences and it is very painful and sad....
I used to work with this sour old photographer. One day we were outside, watching the folks and a pretty young woman wandered by. Some of the guys around us leered and did the general bebop that guys do around attractive women. The photographer leaned over to me and said "men give love to get sex, women give sex to get love."
As to changing a man, which many women attempt to do, stating that he's a diamond in the rough, and just needs the right woman to bring him around. My response to that is that a diamond in the rough is a lump of coal and there isn't enough geologic time or pressure to turn coal into diamonds in her short little lifetime. You either like someone as they are, accept them as they are or look elsewhere.
Does the word slut really have a place in modern society? (Much less in a news story on msnbc...).
Absolutely. Just ask my middle school daughter. She'll tell you about the sluts at school.
It's a noun (slut), adjective (slutty) or adverb (slutty). It can describe sex pursuing people, politicians, males, females.
Now that I think about it, it's actually quite flexible.
"Now that I think about it, it's actually quite flexible."
so are the sluts :)
Admit it, guys. We really do love the sluts.
I thought it meant St. Louis urban transit, acronyms are common!
For some funny, if a bit disturbing, anecdotal evidence check out:
"www.observer.com/2011/12/new-york-investment-banker-sends-1615-word-email-re-you-leading-him-on-during-your-date-together/"
This study is not a shock. I have to be careful not to be too friendly to men or they will think the wrong thing. I had a man who stalked me for 2 years and it was pure terror. Despite all efforts on my part to go to the police and court the laws still seem to be in favor of stalkers (women or men stalkers). Since then I don't make eye contact in public and make sure guys know if I am or am not interested in them. I prefer funny nice guys and looks don't necessarily matter as long as I am attracted to him.
Perhaps the REAL evolutionary benefit is: if egotistic loser guys keep hitting on women they haven't got a chance with, then they're never going to end up reproducing themselves. Advantage...humanity.
"For women, she says, save the flirting for guys you actually are interested in sleeping with"
Yup, it's all about who you want to sleep with, not date. Great advice from the author...
/sarcasm
That was me until a few years ago when still unmarried, I realized I was not this great catch I thought I was. But it can work both ways. There were many times I felt like the women of average appearance became so focused on getting the attention of handsome men, they ignored the attention of the average guy.
Alcohol is a great solution to my personality problems, Pat. When I drink, I become wittier and better looking.
Kidding!
You left out ten foot tall and bullet-proof...:)
This explains EVERYTHING!
Ah yes, the male ego. Volumes can be written about it but i would guess there still wouldnt be a one sentence, all inclusive statement that could wrap it all up.
And the female sex drive, well that I think can be.......they pick and choose.
Maybe cause Im a guy, I truly cant be objective.
Be confident, smile, and don't be a jackass: pretty simple.
After I finished this article I realized I was only 25% interested in what it had to say. I did feel much more attractive however...
"Men seem to take any flirtatious signal and run with it."
To some guys the fact that a woman is upright and breathing qualifies as flirting.
Lol not even upright, just breathing I'd say.
AHHHHH. . .I haven't laughed this hard in AGES! You guys are hilarious and MAN, OH MAN did I need a chuckle. For the record, I always found men more attractive when they had a sense of humor. I dated men who might be classified as "exceptionally good looking" and I've dated men who might be classified as "the rest of them." Hands down, the men who were affable, humorous and conversational won my heart. The "exceptionally good looking" men, for some reason, just didn't hold my attention. You can look good all day and all night long, but when you open your mouth and there's nothing of value coming out of it, you are an empty shell that looks exceptionally well. The same goes for women, guys. THE most beautiful girl friends I've known are STILL sitting at home, or twice/thrice divorced. They find fault in the most picayune of things about people. . .ALL people. They are too hung up on their appearances and never developed the most important aspect of their beings. . .PERSONALITY! Disclosure: I'm certainly not model material, however, I did manage to find one of the best human beings walking this planet to call my husband. He is the most wonderful friend, mate and confidant I could have ever dreamed to meet and marry. For the record, I waited 41 years to find this one man, and MAN is he THE MAN! Thanks for the chuckles, Guys & Dolls!
Meaningless psuedo-science study. Makes a nice filler news story however.
Put the dorks in a nice suit, have them show up in a new BMW, and give them a nice suave foreign accent, and do the study again.
There are so many variables that can be tweaked which the study did not address.
I'd like to see the "dork" just slathered in male pheromones and then see what happened.
Where do you get the 'male pheromones' to slather on a dorky guy? I want to have access to those pheromones, I want the patent, because if they work I'll be rich. The best 'male pheromones' for the older man is a very large bank account, for younger guys, less-than-attractive younger guys, a very large bank account is also helpful. Looking like Brad Pitt helps attract women if the bank account is meagre.
@ Koza - Yes, I'd agree. Perhaps it was the author of the story "simplifying" the research data, but it does seem as if it wasn't very thorough. I would definitely like to see the actual study. I have many questions.
Honestly, there was once a guy in a bank that I worked with and he smelled irresistible! It was crazy! LOL.
This is the single most inaccurate study I have even seen on this site.
Have they not heard of 'go ugly early' or 'any port in a storm.'
Men feel much more confident they can bag an average girl than a hottie. Every time.
@Haha: "Bagging" a girl doesn't exactly do wonders for a person's confidence, regardless of how she looks. I've "been around the block" so to speak, and it just made me feel worse about who I was. Most people *think* they're having fun, but it really just made me feel like a shallow, egotistical prick, and there was a quite a bit of remorse and shame for "using" girls like that.
@ Matt-3468366
This has happened to me. Although it may be my fault. I approached him! I feel confident about how I look and dress. I do get hit on or sometimes even followed around in stores by guys. (kinda creepy) I knew he was out of place and I was instantly attractedto him. He asked for my number and it was all over lol He was a nerd. I'm not trying to be mean. He told me himself. He embraced it. He is very into engineeringand went to a college in another state for engineering.
I want your input on this. We ended up sleeping together both of us losing something that we can never get back. (if you get my drift) He said we'd keep in contact after he left for school. I didn't hear from him again. When I did...it was like you said it was like he felt "shame" and he thought he was an @!$%# for what he did. He's still too lost in his nerdy emotions to even talk to me.
Since you have experience in this what advice can you give for the girls on the other end who get hurt when they trusted someone so much? Even if they are a nerd who ended up being quite an ass. :/
- Marie
Marie...the best piece of advice that I can give you is to not give it up until you have feelings for someone...in other words control yourself...the heat of the moment is just that...don't be a slut...
What a rude comment! She is not a slut just because she slept with the guy whom she liked. It's not her fault he was a jerk.
OBSERVER...Didn't want to really be mean but I wanted to make a point...hitting the sheets with someone you casually know is going to end badly most of the time...being slutty is not just a female thing...if you give your package away you're going to get treated dirty...make sure he/she is worth going to bed with...Renee's right on!
@Marie: Well, I was doing what I was doing because I was a very unhappy person, and thought if I did what the media portrays as "living it up" it might make me feel better. It clearly didn't. It wasn't shame about virginity, as I barely remember my first time (drinking that much alcohol will tend to do those sorts of things.) His shame is probably coming from the fact he slept with you, but wasn't really that "into" you, just wanted to be with somebody, and when he realized it wasn't (the act, not you) all it's "cracked up to be" he felt awful about wasting both his, and your virginity.
I felt bad because I felt like I was cheapening the most intimate act two people can have together. Like I was make sex a trivial thing, almost like a handshake.
@Marie,
I hope this doesn't sound rude. But, to be frank about it, you have to know the difference between routinely sleeping with someone and being in a relationship with someone. Just because you see that person on a regular basis, have sex with them, and maybe even go out on dates and do the things that seem like what a "real" couple does, does NOT mean that you are in a relationship with that person. Very often, sneaky, clever, manipulative men will lead a woman to believe that they are in a relationship, when in reality he's just getting nookie. Hopefully you'll be able to tell when there is true love and committment in a relationship.
@Observer and Renee
I don't think there's anything wrong with casual sex, as long as you know it's just that - CASUAL sex. As long as you understand that, most likely, the person you are sleeping with doesn't have feelings for you, and if you don't want to get hurt, nor should you allow yourself to develop feelings for them. If you know what you're doing, casual sex is fine.
Renee, true love takes YEARS to develop. How can an adult with a healthy sex drive wait years before they have sex? I don't think there's anything wrong with having sex before you love a person that you want to pursue a relationship with, as long as you have some kind of foundation for the relationship. In other words, you guys have to have gone on more than 2 dates and have some kind of a connection.
Relationships between the sexes is much more complicated than as presented in this article. Some men who are extremely handsome and a "good catch" may have gone through a miserable relationship. The same for a "hot" woman. Both may just want to hook up and do not want a relationship. What about people, both men and women who just want to have a good time in their lives? The woman who is easy to talk with and be with may have it over the "hot" babe. However, it still gets down to looks. A good looking man or a good looking woman probably has it over the not so good looking. Just too many variables.
I'd love to see the results of this with 28 year olds or better yet 35 or 40 year olds. I doubt that the confidence is still there.
"The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, the pride of life is of the world, not of God".
Noneyabusiness-2291315
"The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, the pride of life is of the world, not of God".
I'm
with you on that...these entire people think they have the answer. It’s how you
look or maybe hook up for the night, or he's not handsome enough. Get drunk act..
Get a Grip why even try and why is always about sex, that’s a small part of
life. Read your bible, Grow up stop thinking about yourself and learn to serve
other people from the good of your heart. And if you find someone it won’t be
the way you look or what you have..But because she or he likes the person for whom
they are.
Then there's the "dorky, unattractive" people like me, that have enough sense and a well-grounded self-deprecating humor to expect all women to never be interested. Funny, though, somewhere along the line I managed to get married to a beautiful, kind woman.
I think *most* guys, regardless of how they are ranked in regards to attractiveness, believe that all women are interested. And *almost* all women, regardless of their level of attractiveness, think all guys are interested. It's called narcissism, and we're all guilty of it. The only attractive thing about me is my massive brain. And even that's not really attractive, because it makes my cranium disproportionate to the rest of my body.
i know i hate all the games, what i find annoying is women who flirt when they have wedding ring on.
Doesn't both me, nick. A little harmless flirting is actually rather fun. It's more of a friendly bonding sort of thing than anything else, so long as it doesn't lead anywhere.
I would think what is more annoying is a person trying to flirt with someone clearly not interested, and persisting. We guys are notoriously known for doing this.
They are interested, in the excitement, and given the right circumstance might even act on it haha. We're all just animals... Lofty, nice ideas go out the window when hormones and excitement take over.
Oh Matt, and I've met some girls who do that too. I just wanna say "listen, I've decided we aren't compatible in any way here can you please stop making advances."
I like it when women flirt with me, married or not. I mean really flirt with me. It tells me that someone finds me mildly attractive. It doesn't happen very often. I just call it a compliment and that is all. I'm no catch and never have been so. I'm pretty sure I'm just ugly.
Here's a continuation of the perception its "OK" for men to sow their oats.
Lo and behold for a woman to "play the field" she risks getting the slut label.
Be over with it!!! The days of a "slut" as a negative connotation needs to be buried. Long live the freely sexual woman...
I agree! There is no need to restrict the supply of poonani! Spread it around and make everybody happy. I need a woman with a sex drive like mine.
It is because of the reduced blood flow to our brains when we see a hot woman that we guys think that.