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Twentieth Century Fox
Meg Ryan showed millions of women how to convincingly fake it in an iconic scene from "When Harry Met Sally."
Half of you ladies have faked an orgasm at least once, scientists claim. Maybe you knew the real thing just wasn’t gonna happen, so you wanted to wrap it up and go to sleep. Perhaps you didn’t want to bruise his ego.
Or maybe you thought it was a way to keep your man from straying.
At least that’s what a new study concludes.
“By having an orgasm, women are signaling to their male partner that ‘I’m selecting you,’” lead author Farnaz Kaighobadi says.
Kaighobadi, a research fellow at Columbia University, and her coauthors wanted to see whether women would be more likely to send that signal, even if they weren’t really feeling it at the moment, if they suspected their mate of infidelity.
For their study, Kaighobadi and her coauthors recruited 453 straight women who’d been in a relationship for at least six months. The young women – 22, on average – all lived in south Florida. They were asked if they thought their partner would cheat if given a chance and if they’ve done so-called “mate retention acts,” like call their man at unexpected times to see if he was really home alone watching ESPN or held his hand when other women were checking him out.
As researchers suspected, women who thought their men were more likely to be cheating louts were more likely to stake their claim – and fake an orgasm.
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They don't need to fake it with me...
Like the study showed - half of women have faked it. So, in the words of Meg: You do the math!
They fake the moan, we fake the "relationships"....goes both ways...
453 young women in Florida allow us to extrapolate to the articles " scientific " conclusion regarding a billion + women in the world? Nonsense.
...because they're having sex with me.
Faked an orgasm? So what. Still had sex. =:D
And I agree with you, Gary. It's too small of a sampling of women to get an accurate measurement.
If women think they can actually fake an orgasm by moaning,
they are being really naïve. Many men will probably let them get away with the
deception because they do not want to embarrass their partners, but women cannot
fake the muscle spasms and contractions that accompany real orgasms. Men can
always tell when women fake it.
Aha. I could very much sense this one woman's orgasm, because her vagina suddenly tightened up for about 5-10 seconds and her body went limp. No rhythmic muscular contractions though, just one single squeeze. Another woman I've had sex with seemed to have multiple epileptic contractions that seemed more like hiccups.
So final conclusion: Insecure women more likely to fake orgasms. Makes sense to me.
In other news: insecure women are more likely to - wear makeup, care that their clothes come from a designer label (or a fake of a designer label) and care what other people think of them.
Nothing wrong with that, I appreciate a woman who cares about how she looks and feels, not just looks.
Who wants to be with some slob who doesn't even care if they hold onto any feminine traits? News flash: men don't want to be with a woman that is manly and vice-versa. Opposites attract, unless you have something odd going on in your head or with your biology.
Or, perhaps the man is the insecure one and the woman is trying to keep from having an unnecessary discussion in the end. I orgasm because I want to, but sometimes it doesn't happen. I like to make him feel like his efforts are worth it and I want him to enjoy the experience. My man gets off on me enjoying myself and I want him to enjoy that. However, he would die if he knew this :) I am one who believes it's not up to just the man on whether a woman orgasms or not. It's my fault, not his.
ditto rwebber8. you nailed it.
I notice the average age is 22; may women at that age don't have orgasms. They aren't comfortable with themselves or their bodies enough and men that age don't know how to do anything unless they've seen it in a porno and we all know how much they're geared toward a woman's pleasure. I'm in my late 30's and didn't really start having them regularly until my early 30's and that was with a man older than me that I'm now married to. I have so many with him that if I'm not feeling it I just tell him and nobody's feelings are hurt. It seems that every time I see a sex or relationship study it's with college age kids, like their experiences are indicative of the general population.
Agreed. It seems that if a couple is comfortable with each other, they're honest. No orgasm by the woman doesn't bruise my ego.
Liz,
I think that you may be projecting your own experiences onto other women. Do you have any cites?
I agree with you Liz... one must be entirely comfortable with their own body and their sexuality!!!
I've faked orgasm while masturbating, just to avoid hurting my own feelings.
Maybe orgasm isn't really a natural feature of a woman's sexual response. The clitoris is a male vestigial feature analogous to a man's penis. I think likewise, orgasm is really a male's function, not a woman's. I could be wrong about this, but I think evolution just hasn't completed its job [yet] of differentiating men and women's sexual organs and sexual response and functions...
Maybe the idea of women demanding orgasms just like men have, came about because women demanded more pleasure out of sex or something, or equal amount of pleasure as that of a man during sex.
What do you think of that?
I've never faked an orgasm nor do I orgasm everytime. It's just the way it is and it doesn't seem to offend my husband.
I did watch a program about human sexuality that shows what happens during orgasms using little tiny cameras. After the men ejaculate the sperm will pool in the vagina. If a girl orgasms, the contractions cause the cervix to dip into the pool and scoop up the sperm. So having the woman orgasm after the man could help the sperm out if your trying to conceive.
Call me a cynic, but my unscientific guess is that there's no deep psychological reason for faking; the woman just has had enough, and wants the frenzy to end, because the activity is no longer stimulating, but physically uncomfortable.
I just tell him I'm done, whether I get there or not, it was still fun... no harm done.
Liz-1105926,
I don't know where you get your information but the MAJORITY of 20-something women I have known report having orgasms all the time! There is absolutely no reason for any woman to fake pleasure. My friends--straight and gay--insist on having sexual relationships that are mutually satisfying.
The bottom line is that when a woman fakes an orgasm, she is telling her partner that what is being done works. Soooo, the next time, she gets a repeat of the same actions. Tell the freaking truth!! It is sexy to say "Do this" or "Touch me here." Really, who wouldn't want to learn some new skills?!
If a partner is not willing to learn or tell the truth, then the problem is not about sex at all!
The key is that they "report" having orgasms to you but if you could get them to tell the truth you'd find that not so many of them do. Women lie all the time, just about different things then men. I agree that when she is dishonest she does no service to either partner or the relationship, and there are some people that are just selfish and that is a problem too (that was my first husband). FWIW, I never faked an orgasm with husband #1, he just didn't care as long as he got his. Husband number 2 asks what I want and I think that is sexy.
In my experience, most girls can orgasm when properly stimulated. I've had only 2 partners that had trouble with orgasm. Both had self-esteem issues (for whatever that's worth). That's less than ten percent of my data pool-- and all were in their twenties or younger (I'm in my twenties too, in case you wondered). My (newly official) wife has no need to fake orgasms-- and I doubt that she could anyway. Her orgasms are very, shall we say, noticeable (which is sexy as hell).
If women could tell the truth, they wouldn't need you to suggest it.
Exactly, women are no more capable of telling the truth - even when it would be in everyone's best interests for them to do so - than my beagle stop trying to get into the trash. Just isn't going to happen.
Hilarious. I'm sure most men have NO CLUE and they always think they do. it's hilarious1
Men can feel it too. If you don't feel it from her, it probably didn't happen. The youngins probably don't realize that.
They fake the moan, we fake the "relationships"....goes both ways...
If she has good kegals, she can fake that too. I plead the fifth here!
Any man that has ever felt a real orgasm will know. And those that haven't usually don't assume that you are having one regardless of how many contortions you put them through. See the problem with women is that they assume they are getting over when we don't call them on their lies - truth is we don't give a sh!t - we are getting laid. If you can't have an orgasm and are willing to lie to me to trap yourself in sex that doesn't fulfill you - you are too stupid for words, and it's not worth my time to try to solve your problems.
Now just how can these scientist make such a claim. By doing a survey. Bull, who tells the truth on a survey. Or did they watch couples having sex and recorded how many they thought were faking it. Get real. These studies are worthless at best.
Only HALF?? Get real... HA HA HA HA HA!! Try 100% of women!!!
How is this news..... If this is news to you your 12.
All good things must come to an end, and that includes romance and sex. That is why it's wise to not get too serious with a woman. You tired of one another, so you have to fake it or cheat.
@Road Warrior-252445 - thanks for clarifying that. After over 20 years together my spouse and I have been thinking it might actually last. It's good to have relationship experts like you to straighten us out.
Still in love and having great sex after 39 years.
So, tell us something we didn't already know.....no doubt another waste of taxpayers funds.
"as researchers suspected" invalidates the entire study.
More men need to learn the art of cunnilingus, there is no such thing as an expert, however you can be an enthusiastic student for life.
Funny thought -- if a woman licked and licked a man's penis,even his glans penis or his urethra, the man would probably never reach orgasm. She has to at least FULLY ENGULF a man's glans penis in her mouth and give it a good polishing, in order for the man to have a chance of reaching orgasm. That shows how much more sensitive a woman's genitals are compared to that of a man.
Faking it for women is the same thing as a guy saying, "I'll call you tomorrow" after a one-night stand. It's nice, it's what you want to hear, it makes you feel good.
There is nothing here which proves that this isn't a case of paranoid women being more likely to fake....or how about: women who fake orgasms might be paranoid that others are capable of deception too.
These researchers don't know the first thing about how to research and consider variables, hold constants, etc. I hope they are just students and I hope the general public reads how this study was conducted before eating up their conclusion.
Very subjective study.
And, no, I have NEVER faked it.
They should check if, in general, the women who faked it lied in other areas of their lives and then considered that perhaps they have a general feeling of paranoia/insecurity because they know that people lie (since they themselves lie). It's projection.
Madam, I will have you know, I never faked an orgasm in my life, whether I was with a partner or not. :D
No surprise regarding the number of women faking it. Lots of pity for the ones who feel they need to do it.
Yeah, pity to those the women who feel they need to fake it, and shame to those men who demand that their women sexual partners be orgasmic!
I have not nor will I ever fake an orgasm. If I don't have one I am not going to pretend I did just to stoke his ego. If I have not reached that peak, he is going to know and have to correct that :-)
You think women are the only ones that fake it? Think again, men do too, or so I have heard.
Now that's something new...
Nothing up my sleeve... Presto!
I've thought about faking it. Mainly because i tend to go 2-3, sometimes even four times before my guy finally gets off (he takes a while, i think he just likes to hold off on me though, i've made him finish in less than a minute on multiple occasions, and i'm pretty quick myself) because i felt bad about not doing it with him. but i've never actually faked one before. and i'm sure it wouldn't matter if i did if i had already orgasmed a few times already.
I still dont understand how women fake though. Can't a guy feel the difference? its not just moaning. and thrashing around.
Lol, Young, I bet you're a real ball in a mature chat room.
dear child, those are tremors. There's a really huge wave out there and you haven't caught it yet. something to look forward to!
The idea of simultaneous orgasms is not something that's mentioned a lot these days. I wonder what that would feel like? Well, I would think that a woman having an orgasm at the same time might interfere with a man's orgasm a bit, since it might impede the flow of semen, although a woman's internal muscles would most likely contract from side to side, while a man's urethra is underneath his penis not to the side, so maybe it doesn't matter... Oh and Mark McKee, amusing surfing metaphor...
Yeah, and men fake so that women don't stray. "Oh baby, you are the best of the best."
Sick article.
On that Thor, I absolutely agree. Totally inappropriate and it should be restricted to some of the "Lovelorn" reports.
How does a man FAKE it? Either he ejaculates or he doesn't.....how can that be faked?
Ever heard of Tantra?
I've never heard of men faking orgasms, but I have read of an esoteric Eastern [Taoist] practice of "conserving semen" while still experiencing orgasm during intercourse, and that this practice builds internal [psychic] power. How this is possible, I have no idea, but I've also read that accomplished male athletes are able to do this, and that this enables male athletes last longer during sex and to be multi-orgasmic. I've done experiments where I've tried to stop ejaculation during orgasm, but my urinary tract ended up clogged with semen and it was not a pleasant feeling. Not pleasant at all... And I've had to wring the semen out of my urethra.
The irony is that faking it works on many guys because they've never been there for the real thing. The minority who have actually experienced the real thing, can't be fooled by the "moans", because of that "contraction thing" which you can't fake. Unfortunately there are many women who haven't experienced it either, so they think the moaning gets the job done as well. Then there are the "sophisticated" women of the east coast, the majority of whom think foreskin is funny looking, which it is, and they don't know that it is designed, (ironically by God), for their pleasure, and I guess that is why the current design of dildo is sufficient for their needs. Sigh... A carrot is as close as a rabbit gets to a diamond. It's only the 21st century. We'll get there someday, to the promised land.
Lol, faking it works with some men, doesn't work with some men, and I suspect that most men are in there just for their own pleasure, unless they are part of a long relationship and then both parties are equal partners deserving of equal pleasure. Lol, like I told my daughters; "When you think you're ready for sex just remember, you are a equal partner and you have the right to get as good as you give."
That's the first I've heard that the penile foreskin actually enhances a woman's sexual stimulation. If that is true, I wonder what the reason is.
This one woman coworker admitted to me that for a long time, she was addicted to her vibrator. Men's penises don't vibrate. Now how are men supposed to compete with that?
That would sure make an interesting study to get involved in, If it was "Hands On"!!