For better sex, don't think about yoga

by Maureen Salamon
MyHealthNewsDaily

"Am I pretty enough? Am I doing this right? Should I be going to yoga?"

These kinds of anxious, self-judgmental thoughts often run through some women's minds as they have sex, experts say. But a new study says "mindfulness meditation" training — which teaches how to bring one's thoughts into the present moment — can quiet the mental chatter that prevents these women from fully feeling sexual stimuli.

"Rather than feeling it, they get caught up in their heads," said the study's lead author, Gina Silverstein, who was a student at Brown University in Rhode Island at the time of the study. "It's impressive how mindful meditation can increase self-compassion, decrease anxiety and improve attention."

Silverstein and her colleagues studied 44 college students, 30 of whom were women, and about half of whom took a 12-week meditation course. All participants were shown a series of photos, some of them erotic, to gauge their reaction time in feeling "calm," "excited" or "aroused." The participants also completed questionnaires that reported aspects such as such as self-acceptance and psychological well-being.

At the study's start, women in both groups took longer to report how sexual slides made them feel, compared with how long it took men. But women who took the mindful meditation course became significantly faster at registering their body's responses — called "interoceptive awareness" — to sexual stimuli.

This increase in interoceptive awareness was also linked to improvements in self-reported measures of attention, self-judgment, anxiety and depression.

"It's interesting, the women who took longer (to register feelings of sexual arousal ) at baseline were also the ones who were the harshest self-judgers," Silverstein said. "So it's definitely a correlated effect."

What's on women's minds?

While scant research data exists on the mental chatter that seems to occupy many women's brains during sex, Dr. Elizabeth Kavaler, a urologist at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York, said anecdotal evidence is abundant.

"The best part of this study is that it validates that the biggest part of sexuality in women is emotional and mental," Kavaler said. "The vagina is like the least important part of a woman's sexuality. It's true that sex for women is not necessarily the same as sex for men."

But the study's weakness was its exclusive use of college students, ages 18 to 22, most of whom hadn't experienced sexual dysfunction, said Jennifer Fariello, a certified nurse practitioner in women's health at the University of Pennsylvania.

"Arousal disorder is really hard to define," said Fariello, who also specializes in sexual health and urogynecology at the Pelvic and Sexual Health Institute at Graduate Hospital in Philadelphia. "So many factors go into female sexual dysfunction — is it because of depression and anxiety, or low libido because they don't feel good about themselves, or are they not be aroused [physically]? And who knows what's going on relationally."

Distractions and judgment

As for mental chatter during sex, Silverstein said "a huge range" exists, from women who think of other things during sex without it impeding their arousal, to others who can't function sexually if a stray thought crosses their mind.

She recommended meditation classes, which are available across the country, to anyone who feels their sex life may benefit from a greater focus on the here and now.

"We need to let go of so much of the self-judgment we have in our daily lives," Silverstein said. "There are so many people who are so hard on [themselves], or are dealing with depression. It's great how introducing mindfulness meditation can help with so many issues across the board."

The study is published in the November/December issue of the journal Psychosomatic Medicine.

Discuss this post

It'd be good if we stopped looking at porn and allow our women to feel good about themselves! Plus, we wouldn't have to deal with that pesky porn induced erectile dysfunction...which also leads women to feel not good enough.

    Reply#1 - Tue Nov 15, 2011 4:50 PM EST

    If the author(s) of this article really wanted to help people, they would show women how to get off the consumerism bandwagon and just be themselves, but instead they just tell women to pay for more therapy.

    I am so glad I have disconnected somewhat from popculture. I have more self-restpect, my daughter doesn't feel like she has to dress like a whore, and I have much more mental energy since my thoughts aren't consumed by fashion, makeup, shoes, and hair. Our modern culture really does a disservice to women.

    • 1 vote
    Reply#2 - Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:12 PM EST

    We also have the "religion" factor, making women feel that sexual activity is somehow wrong, even when it is with a life partner, and part of romantic lovemaking.

      Reply#3 - Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:15 PM EST

      Good Point Ken N!

      Romantic lovemaking between two committed loving individuals should not produce feelings of deep shame, dirtiness, or self loathing. While my precious loving partner and I have had our "ups and downs" as far as intense erotic performances in the bedroom we have always managed to, at the very least, have reasonably satisfactory functional sexual actions between us. And I attribute that to our deep, heartfelt love and respect for one another.

        Reply#4 - Tue Nov 15, 2011 10:06 PM EST

        It isn't only women that get "caught up in their heads". Worrying about performance is a primary cause of erectile dysfunction in men, too.

          Reply#5 - Wed Nov 16, 2011 7:03 AM EST

          It isn't only women that get "caught up in their heads". Worrying about performance is a primary cause of erectile dysfunction in men, too.

            Reply#6 - Wed Nov 16, 2011 7:05 AM EST
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