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Subscribe to RSSKim Kardashian and Kris Humphries seemed like the most miserable couple on earth even before they were married, so their 72-day grudge match seems shocking only to Kim K’s mom, who has a business empire at stake.
But, asked UCLA psychologist Thomas Bradbury, and graduate student Justin Lavner, what about those who seem incredibly happy being married to each other? If people in very satisfying marriages still get divorced, is there hope for any of us?
Earlier research by others had found that so-called “low-distress” couples who later divorced had been married an average of over six years and that the marital happiness reported by the husbands was actually higher than husbands in marriages that lasted.
Kevin Winter / Getty Images file
Kris Humphries and his now-estranged wife, Kim Kardashian, looked reasonably happy when they appeared on the Tonight Show on Oct. 4, but Kardashian filed for divorce just weeks later.
To explain the paradox, some proposed that very satisfied couples who later divorced went into marriage with less commitment or viewed the prospect of divorce more optimistically.
But that’s not what Lavner and Bradbury found. They sampled 136 couples starting within six months of the weddings, and followed them for 10 years, including a series of laboratory interactions and written surveys completed by the partners in each couple. All the couples started out very satisfied with their marriages and happy.
Yet 21 couples, or 15 percent, divorced during the ten years.
Lavner and Bradbury looked at a number of factors like personality, stress, verbal aggression, problem solving skills, affect (meaning the emotions displayed), support behaviors (how encouraging or negative partners were) and parenthood status to see if any of them could predict which couples would stay married and which ones would divorce.
Parenthood didn’t predict and neither did most of the other factors we usually think of. Rather, the most significant link was with personality types, and the way a partner’s personality affected communication.
“Low-distress marriages that eventuated in divorce were characterized by the display of more anger and contempt and by more negative skills (e.g., disagreement, blame, invalidation) during laboratory-based discussions of important relationship difficulties,” their study published on Monday in the Journal of Family Psychology, stated. Verbally aggressive husbands also tended to wind up divorced.
That may seem obvious, but these traits were present from the very beginning. Yet the couples said they were thrilled with each other back then.
It’s not really communication styles per se, or even chemistry, Bradbury explained, it’s basic, inbred, pre-existing personality. “There’s masking,” he theorized, stressing that he was extrapolating based on the study’s findings. Early on, if economic times, health, physical attraction are all positive, they can hide the way a negative personality eats away at the foundation. Then, when life’s inevitable troubles arrive, “the bottom drops out quickly,” Bradbury said.
“Our hunch is that being negative in general erodes the quality of the bond couples have. It’s who you are as a person.” The trouble might be there all along, it’s just that we’re often too blind to see it.
Related content:
- Kim Kardashian's first interview: 'I'd never marry for money'
- Kim Kardashian's mom says wedding 'wasn't a sham'
- Slideshow: The Kardashian clan
Follow Brian Alexander on Twitter at @BrianRAlexander.
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The Money Hungry, Media WHORES called the Kardashians, deserve everything they get. Kim says she "wouldn't marry for money." That's a laugh, she doesn't do anything for anything but money and what she thinks is fame. It's all downhill from here, for the clan.
I loved that the article pointed out the one most worried about the divorce was the Kardashian mother about what it could do to her brand and empire. Empire based on what? Your daughters sex tape? great parenting there.
And did you notice that when Kris Jenner was asked about Kim returning the wedding gifts (which is good etiquette to do in such a short marriage), the reply was that Kim would make a contribution to a charity. Hopefully that family has now jumped the shark and will go away.
Who knew that "class" is actually stored in the skin of the face? It's obvious that Bruce Jenner had his removed with his facelift.
Couldn't agree more.
When I was in high school Bruce Jenner was a charming personality, terrific athlete and American hero. We all thought of him as "Mr. Fantastic" and I believe he had a short lived variety tv show called "The Bruce Jenner Hour" where he would host musicians and comedians and vaudeville types, like a trained poodle that spun plates on its nose and things of that type.
Well, when I heard that his daughter had made a PORNOGRAPHIC sex video I just about slammed my fist through the table. I collected Wheaties boxes with this man's picture on the cover and he raises a daughter who could destroy his reputation in an instant!
Bruce Jenner didn't need to resort to pornography to become famous. I guess back then it was good enough to just have a one hundred watt smile and be a better athlete than anyone IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! I bet he regrets the day he got mixed up in all this Kardashian stuff and wishes he could go back to jumping hurdles for a living.
why would they categorized this article under health? this should go under weird news,
there is nothing healthy about this relationship
Because you watch these people, you're insane and should seek help
ok Jim , have fun watching these people
Like father like daughter!
Love how the story talked about following couples for 10 years.....HELLO 72 days is not 10 years.
The divorce will be good for Kris Humphries's mental health, I'm sure...
As far as I"m concerned the entire episode is a mockery of marriage.
Peace.
Blame, disrespect, negativity, and personal attacks make for a very unhappy marriage. But I don't think these characteristics are "inborn". I think we learn styles of relating, and (unless we learn to be self-aware) we act out these styles in our marriages, not realizing how extremely destructive they are to happiness and friendships.
you Kardashian proof your marriage by NOT marrying a Kardashian, they are a total joke and never having seen more than a few minutes of the show I still can't figure out how they are famous to begin with, so far all I have figured out is their daddy was O.J's lawyer and the momma is married to bruce jenner who by the way looks like his face has been stretched to breaking point and last made a debut on a box of wheaties
I completely agree with you....Speaking of Jenner's face, did you see the skit on Saturday Night Live last saturday? It was priceless!!!
It's kind of sad that this is what television has come to. Take a look at all the other ridiculous reality shows there are. It's a pretty pathetic world we are living in. However, HummerNurse, some great comedy skits come out of these people!
i am so sick of hearing about this spoiled,rich HO...these articles are no way newsworthy..
I only saw one episode of the show. It happened to be the one where the young daughter was using the Mom's stripper pole. That told me all I needed to know about that family.
Can we Kardashian-proof our LIVES?! I only know who these skanks are, because of articles like this, splashed all over the place. Ignore them, and do us all a favor.
Kardashian - Cardassian. Notice the similarity? Coincidence? You be the judge.
How to be a Kardashian, find some unsuspecting naive athletically inclined male, lure them into marriage, take them for everything you think you can get and then move on. I would say anything has to be better than that.
It's funny that they already have insane amounts of money...I guess it's never enough.
I think that the amount of empathy people have toward each other is what makes a relationship last in most cases, and it has to be strong on both sides.
i agree with allen, they are a bunch of greedy whores.
people shut up it was all about the money love doesn't exist all you need is an understanding of people and how they act it was probably about sex too people are just the best at using each other like their personal tampon
I have no idea what people see in these Kardashians. They might have money but they surely dont have any style or class. And to tell u kim doesnt even have that good looking body unless u like big butts. And looks like Mom was not the best mother in law. its a shame
When my husband and I married, we agreed that divorce was not an option. No matter what. We've had our difficulties, financial issues, loss of jobs, living with in-laws, difficult pregnancy, preemie baby, and another son with emotional issues. We are approaching anniversary #7 and still going strong. Just depends on the individuals. We did do pre-maritial counseling to help us communicate better and I think that doing that was one of the best things we could have done to help us be successful.
WOW - 7 years!! What an American success story!! I have been married 32 years so far and my parents were married 62 years. See how you feel in another 13 years.
Am I the only one who read this entire article? Because they only reference a Kardashian in the heading of the story. The rest is about why people get divoreced(The real people who don't get married for fame and money). :P Just Saying.
I don't think that the 'whoredashians' deserve to be compared to normal people who are married. Their lives are ridiculous and have nothing to do with real life.
Kris Humphries...You are the luckiest man on Earth !! Dear All American Kids; it is a first great lesson in your life. Be careful.
God always favor the most idiotic man on Earth. Kris, if you happen to get your expensive ring back, donate to charity or church to help the mentally and morally bankrupted homeless men because you won't end up like them.
The real reason for the Humphries - Kardashian divorce is most likely that Humphries is a 7 and Kardashian wanted a 10.
I think it is really cruel how every article I have read lately about the Kardashians is filled with such hating comments. How do we know anything that really goes on? Reality shows in 2011 are not really reality, they are scripted and planned. I feel bad for the Kardashians' because the American public thinks it is their right to trash talk whoever appears on TV. They are probably pretty decent girls, and even if they aren't, they have donated a lot more money to charities and causes than probably all of you trash talking them put together. Don't like them: don't watch them, don't read the articles, change the channel when they come on your local news. But don't trash them.
Have as much IN COMMON before marriage to raise the chance of a successful marriage.
Neighborhood, friends, education level, religion (or not religious), political party, socio-economic class, etc.